Cannot fully release sexually...

[delicous]

I started really researching why it is I can't come like fully...

I will get really wet and if you reach your finger inside my vajayjay, you

can feel all of the moistness it just doesn't release quick like a man or

a girl who can come does...It doesn't really even ooze out. I hear some

woman can and some can't but I was hoping that Id be one who "can" because

I would love to have the feeling of "releasing my tension" its just never happened for me.

I got taken advantage of when I was like 16-17 yrs old,got raped but i was willing

to have sex with one guy because I had a crush on him and he was from my highschool and the other guy, I didn't know about until later when I woke

up and some girls taunted me about it for a long time. Some girls that were supose to be my best friends. They spray painted my house and dry iced my familys vehicles and called me names on my answering machine and on my phone when I would go to pick up.

I had to change my nuumber and move, it got so bad.

 

Haha...Some friends...Lets call her phne and harass her and call her

a hoe because she "unknowingly" had sex with 2 guys?..I didn't even know for sure

if that happened but I sure heard it later...anyways...It took me some time to

get over, especially because they did it through both vaginal and anus...It took a while to get over that whole situation...I tried to file harrasement charge but the lawyer just basically took it as " I consented.." I do remember parts of that night but I blacked out and I thought I was only having sex with the guy I liked not with the other one too...and I remember feeling turned on by everything and I am pretty sure I released

that night even though I was half gone...I had half of a bottle of bacardi 101 and some beers this guy kept getting me, think i may have been drugged too...but I remember some of it and it took me until now to really admit to myself I remember it. I was saying for the longest time that I didn't remember and pulled the "rape" card but

I guess I consented and I accept that now...

 

You think that may have caused me not being

able to fully release?? I have literally tried almost everything except councelling.

 

When I was younger kid I first masturbated with a bath tub or a shower

spout pretty roughly and I don't know if I came or not, it just felt good on

my clit...When I think about how I was when I was a kid I am starting to remember

that I held in my pee a lot. Like Id be outside with my friends and literally hold

it so long that when it was time to get a bathroom I wasn't needing to go anymore.

I did this a lot growing up. Holding in my pee. I am wondering if this is what

really cause me not being able to cum. Has anyone else as a kid held in there

pee and is not able to cum anymore?

 

I just thought about this and how this can probaly effect my muscles down there.

I can still hold it in to this day and not have to go as badley later....

Just curious if I am coming up with some real "physical reason" not just

"Phycological reason" why I literally cannot release...

[itsallgrand]

I think you'd benefit a lot from a counselor.

 

What happened in your past, that certainly could be effecting your sex life today, and your ability to release (as you say).

 

I'm so sorry for what you went through. This is just me, reading your story, but I don't care if you initially consented to sleep with that boy or not. It doesn't matter so much. You were still taken advantage of. And it sounds like a very difficult and horrible experience for you. And then to deal with bullying after that. You never deserved that. It literally tears me up, to read you recounting your experiences and how you have felt.

 

I have no idea about the peeing thing.

 

I do really think you should give talking to a counselor a try. I've also experienced some sexual abuse when I was young. Trust me, it's important to process it. To talk to someone who can guide you through all the confusing stuff that goes along with it. A favorite book of mine, when I was dealing with issues to do with the abuse, was " The Sexual Healing Journey". link removed

You might find it helpful, and it may prompt you to see things in a different way and maybe even more seriously consider therapy. Therapy simply helps speed up the process, which is very worth it.

[dan10]

i think there are two possibilities for the cause of you not being able to release. the first is physical. as you said you were pleasuring yourself when you were younger. if you did that repeatedly in the same way each time it can cause your body to get used to that particular way of releasing and only release when you masturbate in that particular way. it is like training a dog. if you tell the dog to sit and show it what to do enough times the dog will sit every time you say sit. but if you say put your butt on the ground it wont sit. i have done this to myself and to this day i cannot release without going through certain motions. its like your body only realizes it is time to release when you do what it is used to. there are a couple ways to fix this. cut out sex and masturbation or any stimulation of any kind down there for a year or 2 and your body could reset itself when you start back up again. another way is to avoid going through those motions at all costs and just keep going until you do release. this is best done when you have quite a bit of time because it could take literally hours to do, and you would have to go through it many times doing different things so that your body learns to release with different kinds of stimulation.

 

the other possibility is that it is psychological. being that you were drunk that night you may not remember because you were drunk or (and i suspect this more because you said you can remember parts of it) you were traumatized by the event and your mind buried the memories and feelings in your subconscious to protect you. either way i believe your subconscious is still clinging to the fear that you may be abused again any time you have sex and this fear is causing you to not release. luckily this is testable if you have a guy you really really trust. (and are attracted to) if it is your subconscious preventing you from releasing you need to take it out of the equation. spend a night with the guy you trust and explain everything to him. let him know that you are trying to find out why you cant release and need his help. if he agrees go somewhere safe and get intoxicated again. and i dont mean a little. get totally wasted and then have sex. if you release then it is your subconscious (and i'll explain how to fix it in a sec) and if you dont it is either because of what i said earlier or he is just bad at having sex.

 

if you do release you need the help of a therapist. i have a lot of experience in the psychological field and i think that hypnotherapy would be your best option. what basically will happen is that you will be hypnotized and then the therapist can explore your subconscious. again make sure that you trust the therapist to not do anything you dont want them to do before you do this. once hypnotized your therapist will guide your mind back to the events of that night. more then likely you will remember a surprisingly lot about what had happened. WARNING: doing this will make you relive the night and could cause you a lot of mental pain and anguish. that is where having a good therapist comes in handy. they should know how much you can take and how far to push you during each session. if you can handle everything then it may take only one time being hypnotized. if you cant take it then it may take several visits to get through the whole night. once everything has been brought back up your conscious mind should be able to regrasp most of the memories and then you can talk them out with your therapist and work through everything. if you chose to do this i would recommend videotaping all your sessions that you get hypnotized because it will help you remember better when you come out of being hypnotized. i can also promise it will be extremely hard to go through the process but it is well worth it in the end.

 

i hope this helps. and if you need more information on any of this send me a pm and i will do my best to give you as much detail as you could possibly want

[delicous]

2 years with no sex is not going to happen for me, I enjoy it too much. The therapy thing is too

expensive and getting really really drunk and having sex, I have done that also and I do let go a little

more than I would if I was sober but I don't believe I can release that way either...Not only that

but I get stomache problems whenever I drink aand it is not pleasant.

[Bluesman89]

Sorry you went through that. You are not overreacting in the slightest. Those guys are scum, plain and simple.

[lvrnftr11]

I am so very sorry that you where subjected to such trauma so early in life!!! Yes professional help can be expensive, but my opinion, and only an opinion, is that it may be an excuse. We avoid seeking help for many different reasons. Please explore your feelings. Research the available help in your area and please! don't be afraid to ask for help. You deserve to enjoy that which gives you great pleasure in life, or should! I say some of this from personal experience. You have taken a step in the right direction by sharing. But remember we are not professionals and can only speak from our own understanding right or wrong. You deserve more!!! The very best of luck!