Tyra Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I broke up with my boyfriend on Xmas day. Id been struggling with his level of commitment for a long time and he always put me second. We had discussed moving out but saved zero money in six months and seemed perfectly happy living with his mum even though he's 30. He then received a text message on Xmas day from a girl friend but by this point it was the icing on the cake for me and I decided for my own sanity to walk away. Since then weve spoken a few times. Him sending me texts asking if his stuff is at my house and to tell me hes moving out of his mums house (which really upset me) I knew it was the right decision but this weekend (we havent spoken now for a week) I am beginning to miss him so much. Its like an aching. Theres a massive hole in my life where he was and I dont know what this means. If your reasons for breaking up with somebody seem justified why am I in a position where I'm craving seeing him. I'm desperate to see him or talk to him.. Can anybody help? its driving me insane! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Why are you upset he is moving out of his mother's place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyra Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Because I think hes only saying this to prove that the reasons I broke up with him are not true...which kinda reinforces to me that he is as childish as I thought but I still really miss him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Its a natural part of the process. You know you did the right thing for you. Of course you'll miss him, the idea of him, the good memories. But keep reminding yourself you had to do it, for your own sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DylanNotorious Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 She's upset because he wouldn't move out of his mothers place to live with her, but now that they have broken up he will move out........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyra Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Im just angry at him constantly that he threw away what we had but thats stupid right? Im latching onto nothing..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Well, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. If he were to want you back and make a commitment - would you take him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyra Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 you're right...I cant answer that. At this moment I guess my answer is no but if im still so angry three weeks on that means ive still got feelings right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Only you can decide. But if him saying that was a way of trying to get you back you should consider what it is that you want before you do anything drastic - or wait too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Having good reasons to break up with someone does not mean that you won't feel heartbroken once you actually do it. People often still do go through most of the same grieving process as a dumper - if they are the dumpee but were "forced" into doing it because they feel they weren't treated well. So I would not read anything into the fact that you miss him and feel awful - it's natural that you would feel that way. It's natural that you still have feelings for him. The real question is if you want the relationship or not. If you had good reasons to leave him in the first place, I really don't see how his claim that he is going to move out of his mother's place now that you have left him changes much. Even if this is something that really upset you before, the fact that he would have happily stayed there if you hadnt left him suggests you have very different ideas about how life should be lived. Also your post suggested that your real issues were more about a general inability to prioritise you or the relationship. I suppose all I'm saying is don't read into the fact that you have feelings for him still some meaning like: "Oh this means I really love him and we should be together" because to quote the old cliche, love's not enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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