BriarRose Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 If you had not seen someone in awhile and they sent you pics but you were no longer attracted, what would you do? Just not respond, right? Keeping in mind this is someone you were once involved with and are currently friends with (long distance). I am hoping if he is not attracted, I won't hear from him. It is the only way I will know. I don't want to hear from someone who is not attracted to me anymore. I had lost my hair in medical treatment, but it came back full, but is much different than when he saw me - short and not as sexy; and I look kind of pale because I just had surgery a week ago (which he is aware of). But he kept badgering me for pics. My weight is the same. I think if he liked them he would have called last night after I sent them, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Perhaps, he was busy? Or maybe he didn't even see the photos yet. I would give it a few more days and take it from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Perhaps, he was busy? Or maybe he didn't even see the photos yet. I would give it a few more days and take it from there. Possible, but I doubt it. He has been calling every night. I think I may have put him in a very awkward position, as he probably doesn't know what to say to me now. But time will tell. If I don't hear from him again, I will know that is why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Have you seen him in person since you had your treatment? Seems like if I cared about someone, I'd want to see them in person rather than a photo. Someone can be much more attractive in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 If the picture is the only reason he sounds pretty shallow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 If he's going to judge you based on the fact that you're not looking your best at the moment, then good riddance. We all have good days and bad days, he's well aware that you just came out from surgery. Try not to think too much about it. Hope you're recovering well from your operation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'd agree with sidehop. It's shallow to dump a person out of your life, based only on a picture. Some people are really photo-genetic, and some just aren't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DylanNotorious Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 It's kinda weird that this guy kept badgering you for photos. It's not like he had never seen you before - so I'm not sure why he wanted pics of you so bad. It sounds shallow but maybe he was trying to re-assure himself of why he was investing time with you so he asked for current pics??? And yes, maybe he didn't like what he saw, but have you seen him currently? Maybe you should ask him for photos too. Maybe he doesn't look so hot. He needs to see you in person to evaluate whether there is still any attraction or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks, guys - yeah, he may be shallow, but in his defense, he can't help what he is attracted to. I could understand if I had gained 50 lbs or something, but just my hair is kind of funny looking and i look a bit tired and pale from what I have been through. So if that's too much for him, then I'm better off without him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Briar, don't beat yourself up over this. And yes, you're better off without him, if he is that shallow. Someone judging a person's attractiveness based on a photo doesn't have a leg to stand on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 I suppose he is handling it the only way possible, though. To contact someone you are not attracted to anymore would lead them to think there is still interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Still haven't heard from him. I am guessing I won't. Clearly, it was the pictures. This sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Guys, is that how you would have handled the situation, too? Just stopped calling (I have known him over 2 years)? Or would you have given the "let's be friends" speech if you were no longer attracted to her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I would have responded but made an excuse about seeing someone else or not having time for a relationship, lying maybe but being polite and not crushing the other person. I'm more bothered about why he demanded photos of you now, he knew what you looked like and was attracted previously. But to demand photos and not even have the consideration for a reply is nasty. He's shallow and you're better off without him. You've been through a lot and yeah you may have changed a bit but look at you, you survived and you will be stronger. He's a * * * * who'd probably run a mile if you got period pains or god forbid, bloating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 I would have responded but made an excuse about seeing someone else or not having time for a relationship, lying maybe but being polite and not crushing the other person. I'm more bothered about why he demanded photos of you now, he knew what you looked like and was attracted previously. But to demand photos and not even have the consideration for a reply is nasty. He's shallow and you're better off without him. You've been through a lot and yeah you may have changed a bit but look at you, you survived and you will be stronger. He's a * * * * who'd probably run a mile if you got period pains or god forbid, bloating. Yeah, that is what I thought - there are any number of things he could have said and still remained at least my friend. Well, it's for the best, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Is this the same guy you were talking about before? The one that keeps re-appearing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Is this the same guy you were talking about before? The one that keeps re-appearing? Yes. But lately he had been calling every night and coming on stronger wanting us to see each other. He called Friday, but I was not at my desk. It had been about a week, I think he is feeling some guilt - I don't think he wants me anymore, he just doesn't know what to say. I expected to find a "let's just be friends" Or "i've met someone" email when I got home, but nothing. I'm fine, at this point, I don't want to deal with him anymore and I hope he doesn't call me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I must admit my ego did take a bruising, though. I knew they weren't great pics, but I didn't expect to not hear from him again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 UPDATE: He eventually called a few days later, but I didn't pick up, I was very hurt. Then the calls became more frequent until I finally talked to him. He acted like nothing happened, but then a few days later dumped me from his blackberry when I asked if everything was okay since I hadn't heard from him. So I will never know if it was someone else or he thought my new photos were unattractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 So I will never know if it was someone else or he thought my new photos were unattractive. I guess it doesn't really matter which it was- they are equally unacceptable reasons. If he was so flighty that someone else caught diverted his attention from you, that's no better than dismissing you based upon some photos taken after you've been seriously ill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 I guess it doesn't really matter which it was- they are equally unacceptable reasons. If he was so flighty that someone else caught diverted his attention from you, that's no better than dismissing you based upon some photos taken after you've been seriously ill. I hear what you are saying, but if it was for someone else, at least I wouldn't feel ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 There's no way it was the picture. Short hair and pale complexion don't make a big difference overall. I can guarantee you that there is SO much more to this, from his end, that we'll never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 There's no way it was the picture. Short hair and pale complexion don't make a big difference overall. I can guarantee you that there is SO much more to this, from his end, that we'll never know. Maybe you are right - it's just the timing was the same week, so I assumed it was the photos. But I guess if it was, I probably would not have heard back from him at all and he called several times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captchapitcha Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Sorry if I'm being stupid, but what do you mean he dumped you from his blackberry? He removed your number? TBH, the guy sounds like an ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 Sorry if I'm being stupid, but what do you mean he dumped you from his blackberry? He removed your number? TBH, the guy sounds like an ass. He emailed me but it said "sent from my Blackberry" like when someone is responding from their Blackberry.. said he can't keep "giving me hope" that he is dating "different women here and there" and I deserve so much more (barf). It was long distance. I had just sent him new photos about a week before, so I assumed he didn't like what he saw. Over 2 years, and I get a Blackberry-dumping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.