Michele32 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 This guy I have been casually seeing told me the other night that he had a gf when he first met me(we met from what I thought was going to be a one night stand)..and so he cheated on his (now ex gf) with me...He proceeded to ask me to be his gf later that night, and I said no, not after what he told me. Am I being irrational? I mean, if he cheated on his ex, why wouldnt he cheat on me? I guess Im just kind of going off of those cliche sayings of "once a cheater, always a cheater" etc.. I feel like I am kind of robbing him of a chance to prove himself, but does he really deserve a chance here? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allsunny Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 You did the right thing. He probably would respect your more if you declined him. Maybe, in a few years after he grows up, you can date him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForumGuy Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 You are wondering this about him because you told him "no". If you had told him "yes", you would be be wondering if and when he might cheat on you. He may not cheat again though....sometimes cheaters don't cheat again when they actually do fall in love for real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 This will probably be controversial... but I actually think there is a HUGE difference between someone who chronically cheats on their partner and someone who cheats on their partner at the end when the relationship is already dead, 'fesses up immediately and ends the relationship. The first scenario is about a web of intricate lies and deceit... and the second scenario is more about fear of being alone and poor communication skills. BOTH acts are selfish and hurtful, though... I think "once a cheater, always a cheater" applies when they are a chronic cheater or (to a lesser extent) when they cheat on YOU (unless you have specific reasons that can be addressed - not just "it was a mistake") I think you should have taken the opportunity to hear the FULL story (since he was being honest with you) before making a value judgement. ... BUT... if you aren't going out with him, you eliminate that risk. So - it's not an entirely bad decision... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele32 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 Thanks for the input you guys..I should also add that he said the relationship was nearing the end, but didnt know how to end it or hurt her. He confessed that he cheated on her and she broke up with him. Its hard for me to believe him though, and thats not healthy..to start something when you cant simply trust someone. I kind of already decided he wasnt bf material before he told me this so I think that was just icing on that cake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaimecat Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I still dont buy it. Sorry- but when my last relationship was dead at the end I had many chances to cheat on my then boyfriend and I didnt....even when knowing it was going to end soon. I think its very very disrespectful to do that. If you are that unhappy with someone- dump them before you cheat. For me, its all about moral character but I wouldnt want to date someone who cheated with you period. Maybe thats harsh, but Ive seen soooo many times these guys cheat on the girl they dumped their ex for Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingtheBlame Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I still dont buy it. Sorry- but when my last relationship was dead at the end I had many chances to cheat on my then boyfriend and I didnt....even when knowing it was going to end soon. I think its very very disrespectful to do that. If you are that unhappy with someone- dump them before you cheat. For me, its all about moral character but I wouldnt want to date someone who cheated with you period. Maybe thats harsh, but Ive seen soooo many times these guys cheat on the girl they dumped their ex for Agree. Once I felt the love for a boyfriend was so dead that I was getting close to cheating with someone else, I broke off the relationship. To me, cheating of any kind is disrespectful and quite frankly one of the most disgusting human behaviors imaginable. Cheating is cheating, and people make a choice to cheat no matter what the context...and if they aren't wired in such a way as to see any cheating as unacceptable then there's nothing keeping them from doing it again to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.