rosarioT Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I mean, have u ever been on the other side, the one that ends the relation and doesn't want to continue with it no more? I've... and I acted careless... not on purpose, but I was too busy living my own free life. Calling the ex or answering his calls was pointless, he always wanted to either make me feel bad, pretend we could be friends, or just beg for another chance... And as caring and kind as I think I am, I think we all are selfish when our minds are ready to end a chapter... And yes u may feel sorry for your ex... but calling them or giving them attention drains u because u can feel their sadness or anger... so it is way easier to distant yourself, to not call, to not care... Maybe this is my karma, but I truly believe that when someone stops loving u, specially if is because of a third person, they will just be selfish and cold. And if they know u are broken about it, they care even less because they know they can always come back to u since u are so miserable and sad without them. So why bother begging someone who is over us to care, to miss us, to show us that the past meant anything... that just inflates more their ego. IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotMyLifeBack Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I've definitely been on the other side. I'm sure some of my exes who I dumped were heartbroken. I never cheated on any of my exes, and always tried to be kind during and after the breakup. My ex-wife said I'm the best ex-husband ever. LOL I've never had a desire to reconcile with exes when I was the dumper. I either was never in love with them (which is why I ended the relationships) or was still in love with them and they became abusive, and I had to get away. Now as the dumpee, it's been really hard. I still don't understand the coldness of my ex, because I didn't treat women like that after I ended my other relationships. Being cold and selfish is a choice that doesn't make sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin2904 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Short answer is yes. With the ex who I am hung up on now. It kind of went both ways for us. I broke his heart then he broke mine. I feel like right now what I'm going through- its karma as you said for the hurt I put on him. I know i broke his heart. I have to live with that now. But he hurt me very much in the past also- and now I am the one who is heart broken while he is okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClarenceRutherford Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 After a woman I dated for 6 mos. (we had started to talk about engagement, her idea) unexpectadly dumped me, I quickly resumed dating. When it became clear my "rebound" woman wasn't what I was looking for, I had to break it off. Still smarting from being dumped a couple of months earlier, I took no joy in ending it. I know she cried but we never really fell in love and it was pretty much a casual, platonic relationship. Still, I was a dumpee far more than the dumper by probably a 10:1 ratio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 i did,and i broke my own heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterPo Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 ... but I truly believe that when someone stops loving u, specially if is because of a third person, they will just be selfish and cold. And if they know u are broken about it, they care even less because they know they can always come back to u since u are so miserable and sad without them. Maybe that is what happened to me. Definitely experienced some hatred and cold bloodedness. So what happens when you are not available if or when they come looking for you? They just move on? Curious is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 ... but I truly believe that when someone stops loving u, specially if is because of a third person, they will just be selfish and cold. And if they know u are broken about it, they care even less because they know they can always come back to u since u are so miserable and sad without them. Maybe that is what happened to me. Definitely experienced some hatred and cold bloodedness. So what happens when you are not available if or when they come looking for you? They just move on? Curious is all. they become desperate for a little while and try to reach out for selfish reasons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calisurfer Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Yeah, I've been the dumper and knew I broke my ex's heart. I was very respectful and caring when I broke up with him. It was a lengthy process, actually took two days because we needed to talk. We went NC for close to 8 months and then I came accross him one night. We started hanging out again and we rekindled the relationship. We lasted for over 2.5 years and mutually broke it off. We were in our early 20s back then. We're still good friends to this day and hang out all the time. I consider him one of my closest friends and know he will be part of my life forever. I just wish we would've met when we were a bit older, because he is a great guy. He told me once that he could be friends with me was the way I treated him when we broke up. Even though he disliked me because I hurt him, he was able to allow me back into his life as a friend because of the way I treated him. My current ex is a douche bag. Very cold, insensitive and a cheater too. I could never let someone like him back in my life. I just don't understand how people can be so cruel sometimes. Do they lack empathy for other beings? I really don't understand people. Kindof makes me ashamed to be part of the human race. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihongo Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 In my past relationships, I've always been the dumper and I can say I'm still friends with my exes. I never cheated, there was never another girl, and I tried to be caring and sensitive. My recent ex dumped me, had another guy and was cold, insensitive and just didn't care. It baffles me how people can act that way. She was always so nice. I don't if I can or want to be friends with her ... ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allsunny Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I believe I did 4 times. But, 2 were more emotional. The first one was my first longest relationship. I don't think he was my real love, because I wanted out of the relationship as soon as it started. I was young and it felt force. I hated it 90 percent of the relationship, and we were together for 3 years. I was mentally and physically abused. It was very very easy to get over him or the relationship, but it took time for me to trust again. I still have issues with trust actually. He still wants me back, and has contacted me over the years. I remain friendly with him, but decline any advances he tries to make. I'm stronger now. The second one was a long distance relationship. We used to work together, but we moved to different states and got in contact again. He was very emotional. He was hot one day and cold the next. I had just gotten out of a relationship, so I wasn't ready to commit to him, but I was falling for him, and cared about him a lot. But he was unpredictable, and I couldn't handle the long distance. We always had misunderstandings and argued a lot, so I guess i broke it off? He kinda did, but I think he just wanted a reaction, because of the way he handled it. I was very nonchalant, and he acted like the dumpee. If there's any one I regret, it would be the second one, of course. BUT, I know it would be difficult to make it work. I think if we lived closer or together, we would have been almost perfect. I'm still very nonchalant about dating though. Still "recovering" from my last break up. I was dumped. I don't want to get back into the dating pool until I feel like it. I don't want to force it. I think I'll give my self 3 years from now. I'll date, but not seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I've been the dumper more often than the dumpee. It works out either way. If it isn't going to work out, SOMEBODY has to pull the plug on it. I've always found out that when either I brokel up with someone or they broke up with me, it was for the best and something better was waiting for both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aether Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I've broken 3 hearts and had mine broken 5 times. I've always been caring, honest and supportive when I've done it, I've never cheated on anyone or left for another person...ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyv Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I got cheated on and I still find myself waking up in the middle of the nite missing my ex wondering ig she will ever say she is sorry made a mistake and wants me back. She hasn't said anything like that yet. All I get is random text smiley faces from her which I ignore. Breaks my heart to have really loved her and then be betrayed by her. Hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fwdthinker Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I'm sorry sunnyV. How careless selfish and thoughtless. Good that she is an ex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarsWB Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Yep....before I got married I broke a few, never had mine broken.....I also broke my wife's heart when we were together, more than once I'm sure...and when she left, I got AAALLL the heartbreak back tenfold. I just recently had to break a woman's heart and it felt terrible. That's how it happens sometimes, and there's no avoiding it. She was IMMEDIATELY very attached to me - and I'm fresh out of my heartbreak so I knew right away it wasn't going to work. I liked her as a person and wanted to be good friends, but with her it was all or nothing. I couldn't do that. Whether it breaks their heart or not, and how they handle it - well, that is entirely up to them. We have no control over that....no control over another's mind, heart, body, feelings, emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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