ichin0se Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Recently my partner and I moved in together for the first time. I have very bad anger control and he promised that while we were living together, he would give me space to calm down if we started to fight. The past several months he has started fights and when I walk off or keep quiet to cool down, he eggs me on and tries to continue the fight. I always beg him to stop or hold off til I can be calm. When I finally lose it, he says it is my fault that I can't control my anger and that it is my fault if we get evicted because I am being too loud. Because of these events, he has kicked me out of our home, saying that I get too loud during fights and should be able to control myself better. When I point out that he has started all of the fights since living together, he justifies it by bringing up the beginning of our relationship when I used to start fights with him. I think it's unfair and selfish of him, and when I try to reason with him he tells me he just can't risk getting evicted and that if I really cared, I would try to stay calm and easily be able to control my anger. Am I really at fault here? I think he is, so if anyone agrees with him I would love to hear why since I cannot get him to discuss it with me. If anyone has any ideas or opinions, or even knows what would be best to say to him in order to move back home with him please let me know - all posts would be appreciated, thank-you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 First off does it really matter who is at fault? if you two love each other you have to respect each others boundaries, especially if you are living together. I suggest sitting down with him and discuss what is the best way in handling it like adults. Walking away to cool down is a great idea but he needs to back off. He shouldn't brought up the past, again its the past squash it. GL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichin0se Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 Thanks, guynextdoor! I 100% agree about boundaries and discussing everything as adults! My only issue is that I think since we are both still very young, I've matured more and he's still getting there (bringing up the past, seeing only his wants and needs) so it is very frustrating for me when I'm meaning to do us some good! But, thank-you again for your response Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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