di17cr92 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 We have been living together for now 3 weeks and it has been great. The problem that we are having is that he seems to be overly sensitive. He wants me to say thank you for almost everything. I have change many aspects of my life, especially at work to spend more time with him. I want to do this but I feel that I do not get credit for doing any of my changes. He likes to cook and truly enjoys it (and his cooking is very good). He usually (99%) of the time gets home first so he takes the initiative to do the cooking. The days that I cook are the ones that I am off and he's not. He is feeling overwhelm in that he feels the pressure of cooking and planning. I have said I will help but by the time I get home its all done. I think that he's controlling but he says he's not. I want to help but how do I take it out of his hands when he is home first and continues to do this. Please help. I want to make this work and truly feel a relationship should be a partnership. Any tricks in regards to making "food" plans for the week etc? What works? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 If he doesnt want to cook, he shouldnt do it. I dont like it when people do something they dont HAVe to do any complain about it. He could wait for you to get home. Maybe, sit down together at the beginning of the week, make a meal plan for what your going to have, go get the shopping, buy the ingredients etc so it's all ready. Then make a rota so that you take it in turns? You could just agree you cook every other day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 You could also make a meal the previous evening in a crockpot and either put it on a timer or just ask him to plug it in when he gets home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I think DN has a great idea! If he wants help but you can't be home prepare something that can be done ahead of time and all he has to do it turn on the oven or plug in the crock pot maybe discuss trying that with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
di17cr92 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 You could also make a meal the previous evening in a crockpot and either put it on a timer or just ask him to plug it in when he gets home. I like this idea - any suggestions for oven meals that could be made while at work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 There are tons of casserole dishes that can be made up ahead of time and refrigerated... then just ask him to pop it in at certain temp when you leave work and tada it's done when you arrive. Lasagna is one I can think of off the top of my head. You canmake it the night before or even on the weekend and freeze it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livelarge Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'll tell you one thing. Once I had a relationship where I did all the cooking because I got home an hour before he did. And I didn't mind, because he said thank you every single night without fail. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. He also called on his way home to ask if I needed anything. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. When you feel appreciated, you don't mind doing things. I never once complained about him not cooking and I don't particularly like to cook, but I loved doing it for him because he was truly grateful. You initial post made it sound like it bothers you to say thank you because he isn't thanking you for whatever it is you are doing. I bet if you said thank you every single time he cooked, he wouldn't expect you to make a meal the night before and share in the cooking duties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I like this idea - any suggestions for oven meals that could be made while at work?any sort of stew. Curry, chile etc. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 UGH! Casseroles????!!!! OMG, not even if I had to eat out every single night would I eat casseroles! My Mom made those every night when I was a kid and I call them the "lazy man's dinner" I work horrendous hours and so does my bf, but we work together and always manage to cook up something really yummy, like baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and homemade mushroom gravy. We eat steak, sauteed mushrooms and salad a lot. We generally don't start dinner until 9 at night, but we would never serve up a casserole (we both hate them). Now, stew is a nice crock pot dish, but if you really care about each other, make dinner together later in the evening, that way, no thanks are needed by anyone. It is a fun way to bond and the food far surpasses ANYTHING out of a crockpot! Cook as a team, teamwork is what marriage is all about, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 UGH! Casseroles????!!!! OMG, not even if I had to eat out every single night would I eat casseroles! My Mom made those every night when I was a kid and I call them the "lazy man's dinner" I work horrendous hours and so does my bf, but we work together and always manage to cook up something really yummy, like baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and homemade mushroom gravy. We eat steak, sauteed mushrooms and salad a lot. We generally don't start dinner until 9 at night, but we would never serve up a casserole (we both hate them). Now, stew is a nice crock pot dish, but if you really care about each other, make dinner together later in the evening. It is a fun way to bond and the food far surpasses ANYTHING out of a crockpot! Well I'm sorry you feel this way but hey the OP asked and they are the best way to prepare in advance. And FYI ready to bake food (whether its a casserol or something else) has changed a lot in the past 20+ years b/c so many families have 2 working parents. There are places where you can go to premake food for the week and some of the things they help you prepare are really good. I think you're missing the point here. The OP clearly stated that the problem is that her bf will not wait for her. If she's not home he starts cooking without her and then complains that he's done all the work. She can't change her schedule or his so the olny way to keep the work more even is for her to do some preparations ahead of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 the food far surpasses ANYTHING out of a crockpot! Well, to each his or her own - but I have had wonderful food from a crockpot. Perhaps you have just been unlucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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