isish Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 My ex boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. 1.5 years was long distance, he was working abroad. He proposed to me early last year and was supposed to get married this year. During the last part of the 2010, things have been rocky. We had a fight over the phone and me saying that we should break up. (BTW, our relationship was very strong. We have never broken up since we got together.) The next day, I said i couldn't sleep and I kinda took it back but I didn't say sorry. I called, chatted and texted like no break up happened. However, we got distant, he came home for vacation and things weren't the same. I asked if he is seeing someone else. He denied it. When he went back abroad, it was still cold. After a month, I posted i miss you on his wall and he deleted my msg saying we were already done. I was shocked. After a few days, A girl was posting i love you's on his wall and he replied to it. I was devastated. I lost a lot of weight, I couldn't sleep. I deleted him in FB and went NC. He caught me in messenger after about 2 weeks, i wished him well (although still in the anger stage, i didn't say much hurtful words) and went NC again. for 2 months (self-healing, withdrawal), there was no communication. On Christmas he left an offline msg in YM saying he will be home in Jan. He wanted to meet. I got tempted and we chatted since he was online at that time. I know we shouldn't meet our exes unless we're fully moved on but the temptation was so overwhelming. We didn't really get to talk about what happened but I know he fell out of love. I didn't say sorry for saying that we should break up. He took it seriously. I was not very appreciative of him no matter what he does. I knew it was over. The meeting was for clearly for physical contact and nothing else. I've tried my best for the last 2 months to get myself together and I knew meeting him may put me back to square one. But i decided it was worth it and i was willing to take the risk. When he arrived, we chatted. We talked about meeting up. I asked him if it really is a good idea. He said maybe not because he has a girlfriend of course. I also told him I'm risking my feelings to resurface (i'm that honest). The meeting was not a good idea. But it got the better of us. He was clear that it was just lust and we will not tell anyone. I told him meeting him would be a very stupid move for me. I met him anyway and here I am. Sent me back a few notches. Maybe steps higher from square one but this will just create new memories and probably make me more miserable in the days to come. Now i have some slight urge to chat or text him. I didn't regret breaking NC though. But now I'm going crazy. I just wanna disappear or die. Will I ever find anyone else. Im 30 and was ready to be a mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAITING2EXHALE Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Of course! Let love find you! When someone worthy comes along, you guys will enjoy all the richness life has to offer. But for now, focus on letting this thing go, so that you can be prepared to receive love without trying to cling on to hopeless baggage. Seems like you guys relationship has run its course. Good Luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engraved2008 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I was in the same situation...we kissed and such...yes about 2 month NC and he breaks NC....he has someone and i do the same....i m trying to move forward....i m doing my best....he still wants me as a friend.... Go NC..it will help.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Well, you chose this path. I know that's harsh, but it's the truth. You could have stayed away, but you didn't. He's not interested in having a relationship with you anymore, but you allowed yourself to have hope where none belonged. He even told you up-front that it was just lust. You were his side-dish whilst on vacation. The good news is that we all make mistakes, and we live on. This will not all be wasted if you learn from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isish Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 @WAITING2EXHALE, ur comments in blue - you really hit it. sad but true. =( @roxana, i will really try.. @tof, we both wanted it. there's nothing to cling on to now. there really was a finality to it. at least we've said most of the things to say to each other before the door is really locked. sigh. thank you guys for the input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isish Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 update: im so tempted to text him. my friend saw him yesterday and subconciously i wanted to make it an excuse to talk to him again. i guess its because he will be going back by the end of the month and i wanted to take this opportunity to spend a good time with him for the LAST time. is it worth it. it will be the LAST. we may never see each other forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isish Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 is this a worthy excuse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterPo Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Believe it or not, you will find somebody else and pretty quick too. Whether you can handle it is the big question. I was surprised when people showed interest in me almost immediately after the breakup and for some months after. Not that I'm any great catch. I coudn't handle it and politely declined all of them, just did not feel right to string a girl along. So there is hope and you will have all the babies you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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