engraved2008 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I have new guy,a new life started....and i stood strong for over 2 month of NC.He broke NC like allways by a text ,just cheking on me and some encouragement words.I stood like that and did not respond for few days ,but i woke up this morning and responded. I said: U know last time i saw you i still held a hope of reconciliation and i faced the reality.Thats all.signed my name. Few minutes after he called me on the phone while i was at my office..I hunged up.He called again next minute and i did not pick up again ,so he left a long message on my voice mail that made me more upset. Him: I want you to be happy and wish you the best.I want you to know you are a great person and i miss us sometimes.We had a great relationship.I m sorry i m not there for you now and i m sorry that you dont't see me as a friend,but i do.Again i allways remember you as a great person..I send you a kiss.take care a lot.You are special.And his voice was emotional. It bothers me that i responded to that first text and brought back emotions and i m so dissapointed with myself i was doing so good.I really want to move forward and start again NC from 0... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForumGuy Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 If he contacts you any more I can see you are not responding, which is good. If you do respond though, calmly ask him "what do you want from me? because I don't want to be your friend and you know that.". Just an option. Sorry for your setback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engraved2008 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 ForumGuy u are so right on that .Looks like u been through this road.It just does not settle the great relationship thinks and that he cares and his comfort and his kiss to make it better.He allways sugar coked the things.I do not see the point to talk to eachother if we are not going to reconcile.He might not text again or for long time ,or call.U are right.Next time i ll ask.He usually checks in every so often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finallystrong Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 You don't know a good thing till' it's gone. This guy has a lot to learn. He obviously regrets his decision in some aspect, but that doesn't make him any less selfish for trying to keep in contact with you. If he really thinks you are a sweet, genuine girl who needs her space, he should respect you enough to give you that distance. Even if he only has nice things to say, it doesn't chance the fact that he is making things more difficult for you. If he keeps this up, at some point, your hurt will turn to anger. Trust me, I know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritofFire Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 It happens. I've been in your place, and of course I would respond back to the text just because I've missed that person.. NC or No NC, I still cherish those memories and those wonderful time together. It touphy not to respond back and that's ok. It will hurt, but that hurt will make you stronger. How could you possibly ignore/forget those good feelings that you've shared with that individual in few months? Hardly, we are only human. It's been one year since I talked to my ex, and I still miss her and wish to talk to her if she ever made contact. I do have a new life, new gf, but that doesn't mean I can't go back and apprutiate that person I had wondeful time with. But to each it's own I guess, depends on situation. Don't feel bad, you are not alone. Starting from 0 ha!, it's in your mind, love your life, live in the moment and that 0 will be gone before you know it. Perhaps forgive that guy, in order to relive yourself from this heavy chain, bring your chin up and move forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engraved2008 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 See....the point is...even with a new man....i still get emotional when we get in contact...it will be 2 years in May since we broke up and then remained close friends...then just talked now and then...see,i was not given a second chance.I do want to move forward,he is a sweet person,we were faraway....we were in love...i was really in love.I feell for him like that highschool sweatheart love...like than teen love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engraved2008 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 See ,i do not think like that....that memory brings me pain...i never had any situation with any exes like these....i stood freinds with all my exes and did not bother me a bit to see them or be around them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritofFire Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 We don't think alike and that's understandable! We are all different. But, Do you see where I am coming from? If you do, can you tell me why I am coming this strong? I've expirienced same feelings when I was with my first, and it hurts greatly indeed. And trust me those feeling we all had with our first exes will always will be there, and no wonder thats where we start building ourselfs around. I refuse to give my power away to anyone but me. I can be imotional all I want, but in the end it won't make a difference. There is a piece of me that is with her, that most likely I will never get back. I accept that, no less no more. I let off my guard once, and made mistakes as I went such as convincing myself it's OK to contact her even though we are not in the best terms. I relize that I am only human being, I WILL make mistakes, and so what?! Just know your bounderes. It might even hurt him to get in contact with you. As far as I know I might not even see that person anymore, whhy would I carry that imotional bagage with me wherever I go? It hurts yes, and that's perfectly normal. It starts with you, reroute your brain somehow to think possitive, intead of negative. Think of good times you guys had together, SMILE, thank whoever for those great memories you both shared, and don't dwell on bad memmories of time when you both broke up! I know easy said than done, but Ive done it. I try to think always positive, dont' care how bad it was. I am not suer what other advices people can give you about this topic, or what you are looking for. I am just spreaking from my expirience, and what worked for me. Be positive is all I have to say, I know you didn't ask for advice at all, but I feel like saying this to you! So you feel great about yourself and won't let those thoughts suck you in and make you misirable. 8 ) Good day. Again understand I don't know you, nor do you know me. It just happens that I had the same expirience you exprienced and I was just passing this along of how I delt with these thoughts. What I said isn't for everyone and in the end you are the one to use this knowledge and respond to your needs and belives. I merely here to give you advice if you needed. Don't judgme please, take or leave it works in this situation. I don't mind explaining myself if I didn't mean any sense, but English is my 2nd language and I can make mistakes as I go with interpretation, grammar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engraved2008 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 I do understand SpiritofFire.and yes sometimes i make mistakes since English is a second language.Its wise what you think.My rejection was when i flew over and try to get him back ,after not seeing him in 16 month.Maybe this was my first real love,and i m 31.My ex is a very sweet and lovely person.We have been freinds since our break up in 2009 .I m trying to move forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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