MizzNatalie Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 He texted me last weekend that he needed space and I'm an idiot and pushed him to getting pissed off and him giving me 5 reasons why he was breaking up. he didn't respond to like 5 of my text last night. he's completely checked out. problem is I have some stuff at his place I'm trying to get back. He was in town (we live 3 hrs away) and forgot to bring it with him but I'll be in his area this weekend and he was thinking I was going to drop by there and pick it up. so now I'm stuck seeing this guy I've been crying about and dreaming about for the last 2 days in bed and I'm in the pissed off stage where I could not care what he's doing. now I have to see him -- would you all dress up and look super nice and just have an attitude where he didn't affect you or would you try to talk to him? My heart's still there but I'm scared this is going to happen again. how should I interact with him this weekend? thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Break up. Space = Waste of Time and your life. Do something that you want. Move on with your life. If there is a problem, two people need to talk to each about it and come up with a solution. They don't need like a week to figure stuff out. That's my theory. Your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizzNatalie Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 hmmm I like that attitude and agree. i think it's a silly thing to ask for space because I know deep down he's going to come back. I just have felt horrible the last 2 days, my appetite is gone, luckily I work for myself and haven't been able to get out of bed. i don't think that if he really cared he'd let me feel this way (my feelings yes) but he wouldn't pick up the phone last night and had plenty of time to text me and couldn't give me the decency or respect to clarify to my last text messages if this was a break up or a time for space. just trying to go thru the grieving process and get over him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 hmmm I like that attitude and agree. i think it's a silly thing to ask for space because I know deep down he's going to come back. I just have felt horrible the last 2 days, my appetite is gone, luckily I work for myself and haven't been able to get out of bed. i don't think that if he really cared he'd let me feel this way (my feelings yes) but he wouldn't pick up the phone last night and had plenty of time to text me and couldn't give me the decency or respect to clarify to my last text messages if this was a break up or a time for space. just trying to go thru the grieving process and get over him Trust me. If someone can deal with a tough situation down the road, that person isn't tough enough to stay with you. Walk away while you still can. Don't do the stupid thing I did by waiting for 2 weeks. If he wanted to end relationship, then he should be the one to do it. Not you. If he can't, end it for him and tell him "This is what you want, and I'll do this for you. Please do not contact me and see my anymore." That is if you care about your sanity and want to heal faster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Space almost always means a break-up. He wants space so go to his house be non-chalant, and get all of your stuff and give him more space than an astronaut. There's no reason to be rude, but there's no reason to make nice either. Is there anyway that he could leave your stuff out the front hidden from view so that you don't have to stay at his house long? If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he'll let you know then it's up to you whether you give it another shot. Don't settle for just being friends. He either wants you in his life as his significant other, or he doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForumGuy Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 When you see him, don't be dressed up real nice, but look good in normal clothes, nothing special. Get your stuff and go with as little interaction with him as possible. You already know that pushing is the wrong thing to do. Let him know you want to get your stuff and go....and do exactly that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Space....the final break up BSer. This guy doesn't give a toss about you. His mind is with someone else and the forgetfulness of your belongings is probably due to it. Don't dress up to look like you want him back. Don't want him back. He's chasing someone else. Or has been chased by someone who he thinks is better than you. Of you feel you need to be tactical about how yo look and behave to him, then you are already failing. He doesn't deserve any effort from you. He doesn't give any effort into remembering even the smallest thing for you. He feels he has better. He's not worth the effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Space....the final break up BSer. This guy doesn't give a toss about you. His mind is with someone else and the forgetfulness of your belongings is probably due to it. Don't dress up to look like you want him back. Don't want him back. He's chasing someone else. Or has been chased by someone who he thinks is better than you. Of you feel you need to be tactical about how yo look and behave to him, then you are already failing. He doesn't deserve any effort from you. He doesn't give any effort into remembering even the smallest thing for you. He feels he has better. He's not worth the effort. The Space Bible. Awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick1984 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 If someone breaks up with you and gives excuses such as 'wanting space' or 'Needs a break' It's usually a kinda way of saying: "Let me put you on hold so that i can go have some fun and potentially find someone better than you, then return to you if i haven't found anyone better or if i have, come back as a friend" If you get the feeling that your partner isn't willing to communicate or attempt to repair any problems in the relationship, and instead hides them away in order to drop them as excuses for the breakup, then my best advice would be to walk away. If someone loved you enough, then they would make an effort to stay conscious of what's going on and maintain their honesty throughout. Many people don't do this which ends up sabotaging most relationships. If you ever feel someone like your boyfriend gives you excuses like that, then rest assured, that that type of person never felt for you as much as you felt for them, and is best to move on and find someone who you can develop a mutual love for. Any relationship thats one sided will always be destined to fail. Even if you confronted these types of people with these points, they will only end up denying it and call you a heartless b**ch/jerk for thinking that about them, when in actual fact, you had every right to since they simply weren't willing to work through the problems in the relationship, which proved that their love for you wasn't strong enough. Let this person go and move on. If he truly loves you, he will come and find you, and when he does. Make him work to regain your love... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizzNatalie Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 thanks i managed to get out of bed today lol and i will get thru this not thru anger sadness or revenge, but maybe just happiness and faking that i dont care until i actually dont care. let him go find someone else. id rather stay single for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Lol You feel pain you feel it. Whatever you do....never block off the pain you feel inside like it is nothing. Because it definitely is not nothing. It's something which needs to be felt, needs to be released. Never bottled up. I wouldn't put my money on you not getting through this without feelings of anger, sadness and thoughts of revenge. All the above are natural to feel. Just people who are not feeling it do not want to hear or see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizzNatalie Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 i feel it but I don't think I should ever let myself see him. or at least for a few months. I feel like if I block him out maybe I can find what I did in life before that made me so happy as I felt when I was with him. bah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 And you are right. Don't see, don't have any form of communication with him. As for doing something which made you happy as you were with him before he hurt you, that maybe difficult. the feeling of having someone love you is a high which can be hard to beat. None the less, finding things you love doing by yourself is guaranteed to make you feel good. Stick to your last post and you will be on the right track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizzNatalie Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 I suppose last question is I have stuff at his house I'd like back... would you recommend me going there and dealing with the situation or just shipping a box that's prepaid so he can dump it in there and we can both move on with our lives? I know he won't take the time to ship it himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 How important is the stuff? If the stuff is not important forget about them. He will not do anything under his own efforts. Last resort and only way to get your stuff back is to go there and get it yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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