Kirstyx Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hello I'm am a 20 year old girl who for about 4 years has absolutly hated the way by body is. I hate having to go shopping for new cloths with the fear that I will look like a beach whale! Just recently over the past few months it has gotten worse, I don't feel comfortable to have sex with my partner who I have been with for 4 years! And I can only remember him seeing me naked once in that 3 years. It has also got to the stage that I am crying all the time because of the way I feel, and would much prefer to stay in then go out. I have tried dieting and going to the gym but nothing makes me feel better. Am I ok or do you advise I should get some help? Thank xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 You need to stick to your diet so you can feel better. I know it's hard, but if you truly want to feel better, it's the only way. Take it one step at a time. Slow & steady wins the race. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 What do you dislike about your body? Was dieting and going to the gym didn't get the results you were looking for? How long were you dieting for and working out for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirstyx Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 I dislike my stomach and hips, I have been dieting for about 6 months now and going to the gym about 4 months Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 For what it's worth, the fact you are noticing our body is not to your satisfactory and doing something about it is great. I just hope you are not trying to get rid of natural woman curves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 There's a lot of information we don't have here. How overweight are you? Are you going to the gym consistently? What kind of workout are you doing at the gym? What is your diet like? Four months is actually not that long. It might take longer to see results. But either way, you have to find some peace with the stage you're at now or else making changes is going to be a lot harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I can't stand my body either and I've recently started exercising and dancing a lot to get the shape I want. I'm slim, but I my shoulders are wider than my waist so I look like a triangle. I also have chicken legs. So when I exercise I have to make sure I focus on my lower body and even add weights to build muscle in that area. It could be the type of exercises you're doing. If you're looking for a flatter stomach then make sure you're doing exercises that focus on the stomach. You might want to consider belly dancing as an exercise or just a few belly dance moves will give you a tighter tummy. As for hips did you want wider hips? When I shop I can only wear certain clothes that even out my body shape. There are websites that I can give you if you're curious as to what clothes to pick to fit your body type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misssmithviii Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I can relate in a different way - I'm hardly over my pre-pregnancy weight, but I have severe self-esteem issues due to having a body comparable to a Victoria's Secret model, to being riddled with stretch marks and loose skin. I used to wear tummy-showing clothes all the time because my midsection was gorgeous - flat, just a tad defined and smooth. Now, it's loose... the skin hangs a little and the stretch marks go down to my upper thighs... I hate it. I loved knowing that I could be comfortable if my shirt went up a little when I took off my sweater; but now... I'm paranoid that anyone will see anything other than my legs and arms. My boobs feel empty and saggy... I hate it. Especially knowing that my bf never had a girl like this before - damaged He was with tight-bodied teenagers before, just like I used to be... and now? *sigh* Sorry... got a little carried away... but just know that you're not alone. I try to go to the gym, but most times I'm just too depressed to because I feel like it's a lost cause to try but I know I must. Let's do this together!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I dislike my stomach and hips, I have been dieting for about 6 months now and going to the gym about 4 months Xx Are you overweight? Do you go to the gym consistently? What kind of diet are you on? How old are you? Everyone has a part of their body they don't like, but eventually you have to make peace with yourself and your body. You'll get there, just keep your head up and take it one day at a time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirstyx Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hiya all I'm not over weight and I am quite a small person. I want my hips to be smaller these are the main things that are out of proportion with the rest of my body. Miss smith vii my friend has recent had a stunning little girl and she was in the same situation as you, she purchased a toning belt like slendertone and it worked wonders for maybe that is something you could try Thanks everyone xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirstyx Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 Are you overweight? Do you go to the gym consistently? What kind of diet are you on? How old are you? Everyone has a part of their body they don't like, but eventually you have to make peace with yourself and your body. You'll get there, just keep your head up and take it one day at a time.. Hey I'm not overweight but I feel out of proportion I go to the gym a couple hours nearly everyday, at the moment I sm on the weight watcher diet and I am 20 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjjohnson89 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I think unless you are unhealthy in terms of weight you should stop worrying about it, i think a regular form of exercise though is a good thing for anybody. You can go to a gym but the problem is when is it actually fun?, this means it sometimes becomes a chore getting harder to keep up. One of the best exercises i can think of is running, you can start at whatever pace and distance you like and is a great way of clearing your thoughts and getting away from the pressures of life. Its also a good idea to mind what you eat as you can be exercising but still putting on pounds due to your diet. Its hard to tell given the info youve put up but it seems to me that its more psychological. In which case you might want to seek help with your self esteem as its not good to go through life doubting youself, especially with your partner. Hiding from your partner is like hiding from yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluesman89 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Welcome to the party. I hate every aspect about by body, proportions in particular. Fortunately for you though, the aspect you most dislike about yourself is actually changeable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjjohnson89 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I know it might sound stupid, but learning a martial art like say Jiu Jitsu is a great way to learn to respect youreslf and others. Great for your self esteem and fitness aswell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hiya all I'm not over weight and I am quite a small person. I want my hips to be smaller these are the main things that are out of proportion with the rest of my body. You want your hips to be smaller and you're already slim? That is actually a good thing!! You know how many women like myself would kill to have wider hips? It sounds like like you have that ideal hourglass shape. If your shoulders are really narrow you might have a pear shape but I don't think that's bad either. This is a good site to choose what type of outfits to wear depending on your body type link removed I don't know if your hips are from bone structure or that's where the extra fat goes (mine just goes to my stomach). If it's just fat, then focus working out your lower body instead. If it's bone structure, workout your upper body and broaden your shoulders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfan Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hey I'm not overweight but I feel out of proportion I go to the gym a couple hours nearly everyday, at the moment I sm on the weight watcher diet and I am 20 x This is so sad - I disagree with all the other posters above who say you should keep going to the gym. It is using hours of your time per day -- thousands of hours per year -- and it's not making you feel better. Why not spend that time treating yourself to activities that do make you happy? This is weeks per year that is not helping you and there are so many things you can do that have nothing to do with your body, which will help you find enjoyment in other aspects of life besides the physical. Then - ultimately - you may begin to feel that all the other things about your life are much more important than what your body physically looks like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hey I'm not overweight but I feel out of proportion I go to the gym a couple hours nearly everyday, at the moment I sm on the weight watcher diet and I am 20 x You can't change the size of your hips, it's bone and also where you genetically carry some of your weight. You are not out of proportion, that is all in your head. It's unhealthy to focus so heavily on your body and diet at 20. Stop dieting, and just eat healthy, small meals about 4 or 5 times a day. Look for activities that make you happy. Maybe join a sport, club, volunteer, etc. Something that can help you feel good about yourself. You need to make body peace or else you'll always be miserable. Maybe look at this website(link removed). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseymarie Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I agree that it sounds like you don't need to be losing any weight, but if you feel like you need to then maybe you could see a dietician. They will ask you about what your goal for your body is and help to determine whether that's a realistic goal and if it is then they'll help you come up with meal plans and excercises to help you get where you'd like to be. I went to a dietician when I needed to gain weight and she really helped me a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Something I worry about in many women is what they see in the mirror in comparison to what is really the perfect shape and size. I guess this thread struck home for me after seeing my ex losing weight. She was 65kg and had the perfect body but she was so infatuated with looking like one of those women who are pretty much * * * * on a stick. The last photo I was of her, showed she was indeed losing weight, she had one of those sunken in pits in the center of her neck which showed she was under weight and getting towards anorexic. She would complain about how she would eel sick and not have much energy but then again couldn't blame her body for reacting the way it was due to her constant clubbing and geting home at 4am at least still off her face. What I am getting at is, never be influenced by what the shallow contemporary men or images in fashion magazines deem as beautiful. Those men are not worth it and the images are not worth aspiring to become when you have a body which is the shape of a woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pramash Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Having hips is awesome! If you are healthy, which it sounds like you are, I'm sure you are beautiful. Just stop picking apart your looks and just be happy with having a young, healthy body. You don't have to look like a Victoria's Secret model, nobody really does anyway, it's all photoshop! Walk around naked when nobody is home, because this will help you get used to being naked and realize that there's nothing shameful or wrong about having a body! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grblue Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Being an exercise science major and currently in the coaching/athletic field. Please forgive me when I tell you that diets are bad. I'm talking about fad diets that basically give you false hopes. Yes they may work for a bit but if you start to venture off, that weight will slowly come back. It's all about proportions. Watching what you eat. Portions!, they should be the size of your own fist. And stick with mostly chicken, fish, and talapia. Minimize your carbohydrates. Don't take them completely out of your diet. Just minimize them. Brown rice is always a good carb side. Water, water, water. It is the best way to drop a few lbs quick. Juice and sodas even diet sodas have lots of sugars. Milk has a lot of fat. Vegetables and fruits are your best friends. Depending on how active you are, stay around the 1200 calorie range. And to keep your body fueled eat 5-6 meals a day. I say meals but some are snacks. Keeping yourself from being hungry keeps you from snacking. For example: I started a diet, egg whites at around 9 am, lunch is a small bowl of salad topped with 3oz of chicken and a teaspoon of italian dressing, just for flavor. I'll have a snack at around 3:30 usually an apple dinner around 6:30 is usually chicken and brown rice fist sized and no butter and a snack around 9:30 usually a fruit of some sort. Plus every other day lift, muscle mass takes over the fat cells in your body, as well as a form of aerobic activity 2-3 times a week. I know this may have been long sorry...hope this helps a bit. Just stick with it. Don't use a scale to measure your progress if you lift weights use a mirror. You may be slimming down due to your meal plan but gaining muscle (which weighs more than fat) so the scale may tell you differently than what you feel. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Yes, you should get help. Find a professional to talk to, or even your doctor. If you're not overweight, then you shouldn't be trying to lose weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I believe its psychological. I recently lost alot of weight, 20kgs. I look in the mirror and i don't look different to myself. I still feel like i look the same way. The clothes i couldn't get over my thighs, now are loose. A dress that has buttons all the way down the front that had about 3 inches from closing, i can now do up. Friends and not so friends have commented about my drastic weight loss. But still.. I feel the same. I too only leave the house now if i have to. I go to the pool to swim daily, but i feel so incrediably horrible. Once i'm in the water though.. Everything else disappears. I swim for about an hour and a half and afterwards i feel amazing. Do you get that buz at all from your work outs? It's a good sign you know you are slim, however i doubt that your hips are out of proportion. Ask a doctor, they will be able to tell you what your measurments should be. And yes, this is affecting your life, i believe you should seek help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Yes, you should get help. Find a professional to talk to, or even your doctor. If you're not overweight, then you shouldn't be trying to lose weight. I agree. Reach out to someone. Even if it is a woman in your life who you see as having a good strong sense of body image and self esteem. Even if you were overweight, which it does not sound like you are, it still would be more than weight that would cause a person to feel that badly about themselves and their body. That is a body image issue, and possibly some depression or other stuff going on. Do talk to someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakeItCount Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 This reminds me of that commercial with the skinny ass girl standing in front of the mirror and seeing a fat girl in it. It sounds like it's psychological. you have been dieting and exercising, and if you're being honest about that, I bet you look great. Definitely agree with people about talking to someone qualified about it - even if it's just to start you on the right path. Also, not to be out of line, but start getting naked in front of your partner. It'll help you when he's receptive Oh and btw, I'm being negative today so I thought I'd add this: Those weight vibrating belt things are utter and complete bs. Please don't use those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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