6 months NC.. new relationship just started. but feel its too much too soon.

[Leon91]

well this is the first time in nearly half a year i have come here to ask for help.

but now it is a totally different situation alltogether.

 

 

well back last summer my ex of 6 years broke up with me and literally dissapeared.

stopped paying her phone bills and turned them all off, stays in 24/7 and what not.

and since the summer we havent said a word to eachother ( her choice, she knows how to contact me should she feel she wants to )

 

obviously after this amount of time things become slightly easier, and life becomes normal without them.

in fact i have been out with friends a lot more living the life i should be

happier? hmm maybe, obviously im not 100% but i would say 60-70%

 

i met a girl in a club back in december. became good friends in the following weeks and ended up at her familys for new years eve/day.

and getting with her new years day.

we have always been pretty good with each other, can talk with no awkward silences

and have a laugh and such.

we have even slept together. ( as in sexually aswell as literally )

 

but there has always been something on my mind. stopping me from liking her the way she likes me. ( because she is very very into me )

 

things that bother me are:

1. she is taller than me. im 5ft4 shes 5ft8 and 6ft2 in heels, not a good look is it.

2. not to be cruel to her, but she lacks skill in the bedroom. in all sexual activities

to the point i turn down sex or foreplay with her as she hurts me sometimes with how uncaring and rough she is, ( vice grip and ripping skin backwards = pain! ) i have tried subtly to explain its painful and tried explaining what feels good for me but i get

" i know what to do "

3. she is way too possesive, if i am in work or dont notice my phones got a text, she calls up and goes nuts- that i never make her feel wanted this and that

* i have been with her 18 days, not 18 years! *

4. she is so angry when something small comes up. like a delay or something or even an act of god ( snow for example ) " im so p****d off! this is f*****g stupid, something always goes wrong when we make f****ing plans, im not even gonna bother anymore"

it scares me to leave as to what she would do/say/make up.

especially the way her and her family slag out her ex boyfriends and bost how she breaks up with them.

 

 

i feel as though i need a way out, as i preferred being friends rather than together.

but dont know how to leave her, plus, im not over my ex 100% quite yet which isnt fair on any new girlfriends.

and with me becoming a dad for the second time in May with my ex. i have so much on my plate its unreal.

[boonpop]

Despite what some people may tell you, honesty is still and will always be the best remedy for difficult situations. If nothing else, it will help you develop the confidence to approach situations in your future, let alone allow you to sleep with the benefit of knowing you made a mature decision. I don't care what the situation entails, my friends, family and associates will all have one thing to say about me regarding me and my dealings with them.... "at least he was honest".

As difficult as it may be sometimes, I try to always speak from my heart and tell people what I need to get off my chest. Your situation is no different. I would find an easy way to let this young lady know that one, you aren't being fair to her at the moment because you need some time to heal, and two, that this is a difficult subject matter to bring to her attention because based on far less serious situations in your past dealings with her, her attitude has suggested that she still has a few kinks to work out on her own before you two are ready to be serious. Recommend slowing it down a notch and backing up a few steps. 18 days is not long enough for the two of you to be acting like a long committed couple, and it sure isn't enough time for her to have you at a point where you have to second guess your communication with her.

Be honest and tell her you want to take it slow.