Shudder Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I took this from another forum, but theres a certain amount of truth in it that I had to pass on the advice. The author of this writing is kept anonymous I've been helping men to pick-up women for a few years now, and now it's time to explain why I'm getting out of this community and never looking back. Obviously, most of the men who need help with women are physically unattractive; what most women would call ugly. But what does that have to do with anything? After hanging around, and talking to several physically unattractive men over the years, I've come to the conclusion that most physically unattractive men are incredibly negative. The way that these men behave make you not want to help or be around them, because you know that you're constantly going to be hit by a barrage of negativity. At first, it doesn't matter, but after a few years, it slowly wares away on you. You literally grow to hate having to deal with such men. These types of men constantly find something negative to say, constantly want to argue and bicker over the most minuscule things, and constantly have negative outlooks on everything they come accross. These are the types of men that no one wants to be around, especially when they don't have to be. As negative as some of you are, is it really a surprise why you're not getting any women? I've met quite a few of you and you never want to really improve your situation. I tell you to buy better clothes, but you refuse to because you don't want to spend the money. I tell you to do something with your hair and/or teeth, but you find some excuse not to improve them. I tell you to be more positive and happy, but you always make-up some excuse to be all bitter and depressed. Is it really a coincidence that physically unattractive men also happen to be the same men that never want to spend any money to look their best? Maybe you're just physically unattractive because you choose to be. I seriously challenge you to find a physically unattractive guy who dresses fly, has a really good haircut, and looks like he takes good care of his teeth and skin, who doesn't have any women. Guess what. You won't find him because that guy is all of a sudden considered to be attractive and he gets women. And most, if not all of you, are constantly referring to women in derogatory terms. When you're CONSTANTLY referring to women as * * * * * * , * * * * * es, and * * * * s, is it really a surprise that none of them want to be around you? Of course, you may not say it to their faces, because you're spineless sad excuses for men. However, if you don't think it shows up in your attitude, body language, and the way you talk to people (always concentrating on negative conversation topics and wanting to argue), then you are sadly mistaken. I'll let you in on a little secret: EVERYONE knows that you're miserable, and you want everyone else to be miserable with you. Like I said, you don't have to say it, because it shows up in your attitude and the way you talk to people. You guys are always sad, always arguing over the stupidest little things that no one else cares to argue about, always wanting someone to feel sorry for you, and always angry with women who did nothing to you. You not getting any women is no one else's fault but your own. NOTHING anyone tells you is going to get you laid until you choose to stop being so miserable and negative. This post may be a little hard to swallow for some, but I thought that the whole inner ugliness thing is very important, especially the frame of mind as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I definitely think it's also about confidence. Just because a guy may not be attractive, if he shows that he has the confidence, he will be capable of getting women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluesman89 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I've always failed to understand how a change of dress can really have much more than a very miniscule affect on a mans attractiveness. And he's got the reason wrong as to why 'ugly' men refuse to do some of the things he's asked. It's not because they are cheap, but rather to do with the obvious fact that putting on a different piece of clothing is not going to have any real affect on their attractiveness, certainly not to the point they'll just suddenly start getting attention from women. And therefore it's seen as not worth the effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesyjakk Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 i can't believe i wasted 5 minutes of my life reading that. with that attitude thank god you're not helping those guys....wow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluesman89 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 i can't believe i wasted 5 minutes of my life reading that. with that attitude thank god you're not helping those guys....wow! Yes, thank god, seeing as I am in the very same boat as they are in that I have zero experience myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
im sandra dee Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I knew a man like this a few years ago. In fact he was the first man from online dating that I met in person. He and I got to know each other at first by dating and then we were friends for a while. The description above totally sounds like him. He and I are no longer friends. He was too negative and I was facing cancer diagnosis and treatment at the time. He was just awful to me. I won't even get into the things he used to say to me and the times he made me cry. He was a verbally abusive man. I feel sorry for any woman who comes in contact with him because his negativity is draining. I will NEVER tolerate that B.S. from anyone anymore EVER!!!!! The men I have met since even the ones who hurt me and weren't interested in me were much better men than him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mb86 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I seriously challenge you to find a physically unattractive guy who dresses fly, has a really good haircut, and looks like he takes good care of his teeth and skin, who doesn't have any women. Guess what. You won't find him because that guy is all of a sudden considered to be attractive and he gets women. I call on this one. Just because a guy is physically attractive and has good hygiene doesn't mean that he's good with women. What if he's shy and scared to make a move? What if he comes accross as needy? What if he's always getting friendzoned (doesn't know how to escalate), but at the same time, is always asked "why don't you have a girlfiend?". Let's face it, women aren't known for having the balls to make the first move. As for the negative attitudes, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Some men are negative because they've repeatedly had negative experiences with self-absorbed, manipulative, cruel women. But where I do think the post has some merit is that game won't turn Quazimodo into an attractive man. There is somewhat of a visual component to this, although women are still nowhere near as visual as men are. Also, the post makes a good point about the need to keep a positive outlook, even if circumstances make that difficult at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The negativity can stem from too many personal encounters from a young age, where they have not even tried to hit on the women but end up getting negative derogatory comments for free. There are genuine reasons from where an ugly/unattractive man can become negative. Situations where they have had friends who are attracting women while they are constantly placed at second best even though their friend(s) are indeed doing the same thing as them when talking to the female. Leaving them wondering why they have to put more effort in and often feel like it is unfair they have to. Real confidence booster. Repeat instances of this kind of treatment from society can eventually eat away at their confidence, leading to the negative outlook they have because that is what they experience. Not because they are negative from the get go. Indeed superficial traits are a priority to getting attention of a female. Clothing, well done posing photos, tattoos, cars, photos which show you are "happening" and looking good at the same time and of course genetically gifted with good looks. This in turn breeds confidence. Personality does not have to go a long way if any when you have the traits above working for you. Look at the douche bags who get laid often....sure they don't have long lasting relationships most likely due to knowing they can get better. The cycle repeats. As one of my ex GFs said, "She better not be thinking of having children with him, boy they would have an ugly child". Thing is I have seen very attractive couples give birth to gremlins so in my opinion it's all BS but you try and convince someone like that otherwise. Shows what she is/was looking for... People who are in the attractive group do not see the World from the same eyes as a unattractive person. As the hardships are not the same unless they were an ugly duckling once upon a time. But even then....some of them will not empathize as they do not want to be reminded of that life again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fIIsion Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The author of that article is talking absolute crap and there is nothing to be learned from it other than seeing how people like to pigeonhole society; it reminds me of something that the Nazi party might of used for a Nazi inspired dating manual. People have negative attitudes regarding others regardless of their looks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shudder Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 its not so much how people dress but more their mindset. a goodlooking person who has a negative attitude can be unattractive as well. since this guy is/was a former pick up artist, he is just shedding some light on his experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corrin Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I've always failed to understand how a change of dress can really have much more than a very miniscule affect on a mans attractiveness. And he's got the reason wrong as to why 'ugly' men refuse to do some of the things he's asked. It's not because they are cheap, but rather to do with the obvious fact that putting on a different piece of clothing is not going to have any real affect on their attractiveness, certainly not to the point they'll just suddenly start getting attention from women. And therefore it's seen as not worth the effort. I think the stylish clothes, the nice hair cut and the other little self improvements all go into the confidence equation. The piece of clothing does not necessarily make the person look better. But maybe he acts differently because he believes he looks better. I also think that the better dressed man is more likely to be associated with financial security, which I think is an important attribute when a woman assesses a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blitzkrieged Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I've always failed to understand how a change of dress can really have much more than a very miniscule affect on a mans attractiveness. And he's got the reason wrong as to why 'ugly' men refuse to do some of the things he's asked. It's not because they are cheap, but rather to do with the obvious fact that putting on a different piece of clothing is not going to have any real affect on their attractiveness, certainly not to the point they'll just suddenly start getting attention from women. And therefore it's seen as not worth the effort. lol by saying this youre kind of reinforcing this guys point... yes, dressing better can make you more presentable, making people more likely to want to look at you. also, besides the first layer of just looking better, it also shows you're confident enough to take pride in yourself. I mean take a hot girl and put her in a ragetty loose T-shirt, old sneakers and a messy ponytail... no makeup, etc. Is she still sexy? Most likely you will think shes lazy/or doesnt really consider herself beautiful or care much. Most people dont wake up looking great, even the 10's you see walking around in heels, shiny hair and makeup. All that takes effort on their part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jooj Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Totally agree with OP I believe the reason physically unattrcative men tend to be lonely and single is because they are so negative to the point that they don't even try to change their situation and pursue women because they feel like there is no hope. If you don't work hard for something you'll never get it. If a physically unattractive man buys new clothes, tries to look as best as he can, has a positive attitude and is cheerful and is confident enough to ask girls out, he will be able to find plenty of women that are willing to be with him. Most women care about personality and attitude more than looks. Plus I've noticed that lots of unattractive guys tend to be very picky which is why they're still single. Search through the posts and you'll find so many women who are desperately waiting for someone to ask them out. You've got nothing to lose if you ask a girl out and she rejects you, so keep trying and I'm sure a girl will look past your looks into your personality if you've got a positive attitude. If you haven't read The Secret then it's time you read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firiel Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I agree and don't. I don't think that men who can't get women are necessarily super negative towards women and think lowly of them. But I have noticed that they tend to think lowly of themselves. I'm friends with a guy who is usually single, and he always talks like a relationship is impossible for him because of xyz. And he is, in general, a negative person about his life, future, etc. And that alone would be enough that I would never have wanted to date him, even though he is a really nice guy and not unattractive at all. I didn't find my husband attractive when we first met. He's a handsome guy, but not really stereotypically "attractive." He's overweight, doesn't have perfect teeth, etc. He was also only working a typical general labor job when we met, so he didn't have money or a future career to pull me in. It was his confidence and upbeat personality that drew me in. He took all of his negative experiences and somehow used them to make humself more positive and confident. He was always smiling, always offered support and encouragement, and was always confident in himself. And THAT was what was really attractive about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvette Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 actually the ugliest guy I know has a very attractive girlfriend. (and it was she who crushed on him/chased after him initially) he dresses awesomely. what drew her to him first was his shoes (very bright, very stylish). and he is calm and confident, despite being a face only a mother could love. even his gf, when describing him to her friends at first, said he's exceedingly ugly. the ugliest person she's ever seen. people tend to agree. he's short, too-thin, and his face... is quite unique! but he has no end of girls (and guys, lol!) crushing on him. he's very easy to hang around, so I think OP's post has a grain of truth. I know girls who act like the described "ugly men", and at first it's ok trying to boost their confidence, assuring them 'no you're not ugly!', 'you are not lame!' etc. but after a while it gets TIRING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I think it's definitley about attitude over looks but that means the article should be titled "Why Negative Men Can't Get Women"....nobody would read that because it's so obvious. But make it "Why Ugly Men Can't Get Women" and voila...you've got an audience. Everything in the "article" is just common sense about people in general despite looks. This guy interviewed ugly men who were unsuccessful in dating which is a small pool.....did he interview "ugly" men who were happy, positive, have good lives, good relationships etc? Probably not because he's working with the guys who want to find women. If he did a study on "ugly" people he would have to include the happy successful ones which would defeat his point and credibility because not all "non-pretty" people are miserable losers. Have you ever seen The Bachelor? These women are PERFECT looking.....killer bodies, perfect teeth, great hair....and they are BAWLING their eyes out when they don't get a rose from a perfect stranger who's dating 25 women at the same time. My point? Good looks don't make you confident or successful and poor looks don't make you miserable or a loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fIIsion Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The problem with this line of reasoning is firstly how you define how someone is physically unattractive; it is subjective and just because you find someone unattractive that does not mean that someone else will. While I agree that having a positive attitude and certainly making an effort with one's appearance are always helpful to everyone, i do not like how this thread generalises and creates a stereotype of a physically unattractive man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluesman89 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The piece of clothing does not necessarily make the person look better. But maybe he acts differently because he believes he looks better. Well, as somebody who suffers from low self esteem, I can say that making an effort to dress smarter only made me feel embarrassed and like an idiot. It did not make me feel more attractive at all. Same went for when I was gelling my hair (which is why I eventually just went and shaved it). That's just me though.. perhaps i'm a unique case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-John- Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Is it really a coincidence that physically unattractive men also happen to be the same men that never want to spend any money to look their best? Maybe you're just physically unattractive because you choose to be. I seriously challenge you to find a physically unattractive guy who dresses fly, has a really good haircut, and looks like he takes good care of his teeth and skin, who doesn't have any women. Guess what. You won't find him because that guy is all of a sudden considered to be attractive and he gets women. For my part, I wear very nice clothes -- better than most of the people around my age on campus. I take great care every morning to prepare my clothes: ironing and pressing, etc. I generally wear dress shirts and slacks, but I manage to wear them in a way that still looks relaxed and casual. I like to think I look good when I leave the house to go to school. Incident #1: I saw a guy one day who was in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans who was in one of my classes. Had a very pretty girlfriend sitting next to him. Saw him later in the library and this cute girl (not his girlfriend) approaches him, giddily smiling and whatnot; she's obviously attracted. I'm just sitting there, not five feet away from them, dressed ten times better than him. Girl never even looked at me. Then again, the guy had long hair and kind of looked like a movie star -- even though it looks like he spent all of two minutes getting ready in the morning. Incident #2: I'm about to go home. I see another guy, dressed in just a damn t-shirt and jeans. Probably jumped out of bed and threw that on. And he's locked in arms with a pretty girl. At that point I just started laughing hysterically. I've had more of these "incidents," but you get the picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I'm a female and I find a lot of truth in that article. Many unattractive men dress badly (big turnoff to women!) smell badly, have bad teeth, do not style their hair, well I could go on and on. And many unattractive men do have a bad attitude, though I don't really blame them for that, but it is a turnoff to women. My bf is not what you would call a pretty man: he is overweight and balding and not rich by any means. I fell for him and so have many, many, women. Why? He is funny, intelligent, dresses well, has style, and, bottom line, he thinks he is darn sexy! You know what? Women believe this also. He is constantly being flirted with by women and I can see why. This article is a gem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayfara Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Being comfortable in your own skin is important I think. Dressing stylish takes confidence, someone very down on himself won't feel confident drawing attention to him by dressing stylish so he might feel even worse dressed up and having eyes set on him because he'll interpret the attention as him looking ridiculous. Clothes and aura can make a huge a difference on someone's attractiveness. There are actors I only find attractive in certain movies, because in that movie he has cool clothes and a cool personality that makes him attractive. And when good looking actors play characters that are whiny and lazy and have boring clothes, not many will find him attractive in that movie despite his good looks. Anyway I think there are several ways to look good and not just one standard way. A clean cut guy can look good and so can a guy with dreadlocks, most styles have their admirers. But some people don't have a style at all, they just have clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 "Hey, you know how there's an unfair, random system where some people are considered attractive, and some people aren't? Well, I'm on the winning side of it, and you're on the losing side--and it'd make my life a lot easier if you'd stop complaining about it. Thanks!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I think that dating or getting to know women is inherently superficial because a lot of what you have to go on is the person's looks. I think that guys who are less attractive just have to modify their game to fit the positive aspect of themselves and/or their personalities. I have seen plenty of less attractive guys get girls who are gorgeous. Confidence is the key, a complaint I hear often from women is that guys just dont approach them, if you have the confidence to approach then a women may appreciate other aspects of a guy besides his physical attractiveness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undyinglova Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 If you are saying that dress/haircut/shoes etc make the man, I could not disagree more. Different people have different tastes. You will notice that a lot of geeks dress weirdly, since they cannot be bothered to dress well. They have better things to do. Ever seen Big Bang Theory? Ever seen House? Does House shave/dress like it matters? My point is, there are many ways to look at it. One way is the "unattractive men who have a negative attitude towards life". The other is "a hardworking individual who thinks that these things are shallow and he could not bother to waste any time on it". Different people are raised differently. I believe in the latter. I am not criticizing any of you. We all have our opinions and I would be glad if you are willing to see the other side of the coin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Well sometimes, the only reason why ugly men don't get women IS because they're just too ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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