star111 Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm not sure if it's because I haven't been lucky in meeting new men, or the ones I've dated haven't lasted. But I've been super depressed lately...missing my ex, just missing having someone. Why him though? I've already gone through the cycle of hurt, no contact, feeling powerful, and over it. Now the thoughts are back. Broke up over 1.5 yrs ago, last saw him 4 mths ago. I tend to contact him when I'm drunk....not sure if it lets my emotions get the best of me. I'll send an email here or there. I don't expect a response. We had a disastrous relationship. But why am I aching for him still? I was dating someone new, who turned out to not give me what I want and I felt the same pain in my gut I felt in getting over my ex. But this new guy was nothing compared to that relationship. I think I'm just so sick and frustrated, because I thought I was doing great in moving on. I feel like I've lost my motivation to move forward and get out of the slump. I did get out of it, and I did have hope in meeting someone new. But since dating 2 new men who turned out to be bad, I'm really starting to wonder what one is supposed to do. To get away from this incredible feeling of loneliness. I don't think it's even about my ex. Now I feel dumb for contacting him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taradactyl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Delete ALL his info.... and get back on the horse..... If you feel dumb for contacting him, delete him....ESPECIALLY if he does not respond...... and get out there. You know just by writing this, that it is not HIM you are pining after, it is a fulfilling and rewarding relationship. So, you either get out there and date, or you go on a dating sabbatical. Take some time for yourself? Remember what it is to be on your own and find joy in things you do for yourself, not waiting for someone to make you feel complete. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
star111 Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 thanks for the response. I have been on a dating sabbatical for awhile, and was okay with it all. Now that I'm ready to meet and date, I guess it's bringing up past feelings. Maybe the last bad date shook me up and made me feel hopeless and sad again.....just trying to get out of the slump. which I know I will. Writing/reading on here helps... this is true- "You know just by writing this, that it is not HIM you are pining after, it is a fulfilling and rewarding relationship." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveTrump Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Hi, contacting your ex is definitely not gonna help you move on. Deep down you still want him and it comes out when you're drunk. Failed dates/relationships only affirm that, but what you're missing is the fact that you are not ready to make a new relationship yet. That's your dilemma but it's easily solved... As soon as you stop contacting him and really moving on, then after some time when you've practically forgotten him, you'll be ready for a new relationship. You also have to be happy being single and independent too. That way, you'll be more in control of your life, and not needing a bf to validate the happiness that you want. Your true happiness is inside you already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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