22n32 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I got a text saying.. I don't want to be in a rel, I'm just not ready for it.. I feel like its a cop out. Whatever it is what it is.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnm3 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 "I completely understand and respect your decision. Good luck!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TidalWave Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 ''I don't want to be in a rel (with you), I'm just not ready for it (with you), (and I'll leave this part unsaid, because I don't wanna be hurting, but if there happened to be someone who I really liked I would want to be in a relationship - with them.)'' That's what it translates to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Didn't you say she was 22 and you were 32? So perhaps she is just telling the truth! Many people just want to date around at 22 and not get into serious relationships yet... I know that probably isn't making you happy, but at 22 she is just at a different life phase than you are... So if you're looking to settle down, perhaps you should look for women who are in their late 20s or your own age rather than resenting her attitude too much... at 22 she probably doesn't want anything near as serious as you do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Sometimes it's hard to face the cold hard facts, but at the end of the day, you can't force someone to love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 ''I don't want to be in a rel (with you), I'm just not ready for it (with you), (and I'll leave this part unsaid, because I don't wanna be hurting, but if there happened to be someone who I really liked I would want to be in a relationship - with them.)'' That's what it translates to. That might be the case, but it was both of our best rel, and she said she wished she meet me later in life, because i was perfect match for her.. and i think by being with me she would miss her 20s and having fun.. Didn't you say she was 22 and you were 32? So perhaps she is just telling the truth! Many people just want to date around at 22 and not get into serious relationships yet... I know that probably isn't making you happy, but at 22 she is just at a different life phase than you are... So if you're looking to settle down, perhaps you should look for women who are in their late 20s or your own age rather than resenting her attitude too much... at 22 she probably doesn't want anything near as serious as you do... yeah i turned 30 a month ago she is 22. it def was an issue she was still all about going out to the bars having fun. i wanted fun and excitment but more quality.. Sometimes it's hard to face the cold hard facts, but at the end of the day, you can't force someone to love you. niether of us forced it.. we both did love eachother, just she was young having fun and i think she felt like being with me would be a life commintment and she would give up her fun and her 20s and she would regret me down the line.. so i think its why she feels she is not ready.. she wants to have fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lastchallenge Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Sorry to hear this... its the same situation im in... im sorry bro At 22 they just wanna go out and drink and act stupid... don't waste your time..you never know you guys could meet up in the future... Good luck n stay strong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TidalWave Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 That might be the case, but it was both of our best rel, and she said she wished she meet me later in life, because i was perfect match for her.. You were her best match so far... That doesn't mean it'll still be valid by tomorrow. and i think by being with me she would miss her 20s and having fun.. This seems to be a tricky part, but it's really not. Firstly, you don't have to force her to settle down, you can be in a relationship and let her enjoy her 20s and have fun. (Unless having fun substitute for having sex with tons of guys she meets). Secondly, you can always find time to be together. Her poor time management is not an excuse for not having a relationship. Her age is an excuse for having poor ability to manage her time though. There's always a way to make things work, but more often than not people think it's not worth the effort. Don't blame yourself at any point. It's her fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 I know that.. she will date and move on.. and few yrs down the road only way she will come back is if all her rel will fail and nobody can compare to me.. but people change and grow.. so no i dont think she will ever be back.. even if she does chances will be that i have moved on i wasnt forcing her to settle down, but she saw me for the long term not just fun, so she prob felt she would be missing out on dating and growing.. which i understand at 22 i didnt want to be in long term rel.. ive had about 5 oppurtunities to marry great girls since i was 19, but i was never ready.. its karma coming back.. haha she thinks its worth the effort, sometimes its easier just to walk.. and worry about it later.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 you're 32 and she's 22? don't mean to upset you,but what's there in common with a girl that age? i understand if you were 40 and she 30,but 32 and 22. i'm 30 ,and most of the times dated older women than me. i couldn't imagine being with a girl that young,i would be soooo bored. again,i don't mean to upset you,just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 you're 32 and she's 22? don't mean to upset you,but what's there in common with a girl that age? i understand if you were 40 and she 30,but 32 and 22. i'm 30 ,and most of the times dated older women than me. i couldn't imagine being with a girl that young,I would be soooo bored. Well I turned 30 a month ago and she will be 23 in 2 months. Lmao not that makes a diff but closer to 7.. but we had pretty everything in common, intrest and overall life Outlook.. but one thing she was still all about going out with her friends.. I like to go out with my friends but maybe not every weekend. Where's to her it was still top priority. I undersrand were ur coming from. I have my life together.. but girls my age or older are way to serious.. were I have things together I still like to have fun and live carefree its why I always dated younger.. by the time I'm in my mid 30s they would be late 20s and everything would come together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 i agree with you,older girls start getting serious very fast,talking about kids,marriage,and that scares the hell out of me. let's drink to 30,that's the new 20,lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Def drink to that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 i'll buy. life is awesome,just take the time and look at it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Yeah I knew it was going to come to this. Seen it happen more often than not. Leaves me disenchanted with finding an honest relationship with a female. There is a thread which sparked up my issues about being uncertain about the honest motives of females like your ex when they get older. It's like they hop from one guy to the next until they are at the very end of their biological clock or they start to see their body degrading in the mirror and the clothes they used to wear just makes them look like mutton dressed up as lamb. Then they will settle for one man. Whether they ever wanted to even then is what worries me. I'm sure you will find someone else. You're just wiser now. Maybe even a bit saddened by the outlook that is most likely the inevitable truth if you do meet another girl like her at that age. The chances are, you are only temporary because if you don't do or entertain, you're no longer worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Ex just called to chit chat. Of course I pu. Haha we talked about the night and little bit about us. She told me she loves me and needs self discovery.. and maybe will find our way back to eachother. I know she loves me and what I have to offer. But I can tell she is not ready for a serious rel.. I don't know what to do.. I just wanna be nc and make her feel everything. But I know it will be yrs before anything happens.. Just seems like a lose lose situation no matter what Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Ex just called to chit chat. Of course I pu. Haha we talked about the night and little bit about us. She told me she loves me and needs self discovery.. and maybe will find our way back to eachother. I know she loves me and what I have to offer. But I can tell she is not ready for a serious rel.. I don't know what to do.. I just wanna be nc and make her feel everything. But I know it will be yrs before anything happens.. Just seems like a lose lose situation no matter what it doesn't seem a lose lose situation,it is a lose lose situation. why did you answer the call,let her leave you a voice mail if she wants to blabber,at least that one can cut her off. what's the voicemail time limit,1 minute? i'm not sure. and change your voicemail to something like mine>"leave only important messages" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I wonder how many ways there are of saying I want to "date more men and do things which would most certainly wreck the relationship". There is life and now self discovery. The only time she will lose is when she come accross some guy who treats her like dirt, reminds her of you, contacts you, or years go by and she is at the point where she can not rock the clothes or the clubs like she used to and now can not get the attention she needs from those places. Sop she comes back to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 it doesn't seem a lose lose situation,it is a lose lose situation. why did you answer the call,let her leave you a voice mail if she wants to blabber,at least that one can cut her off. what's the voicemail time limit,1 minute? i'm not sure. and change your voicemail to something like mine>"leave only important messages" i do feel like its a loss no matter what... I wonder how many ways there are of saying I want to "date more men and do things which would most certainly wreck the relationship". There is life and now self discovery. The only time she will lose is when she come accross some guy who treats her like dirt, reminds her of you, contacts you, or years go by and she is at the point where she can not rock the clothes or the clubs like she used to and now can not get the attention she needs from those places. Sop she comes back to you. I know its such a bad situation to be in.. and by the time she discovers what we could have it will to to late.. oh boy this sucks.. i have to move on.. just so hard when u know everything is right and theres love... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Yeah well the ultimatum was made. And she chose the lifestyle of a life with you. People do make choices like that, in hopes the person they left will be there for them later once they have had their cake if something more appetizing does not come to the platter. But depending on their own experiences and confidence in their likely hood of finding someone even better, they will take that chance. What you have told me of your ex....sound like she knows she can take that chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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