iamtrying Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Why am i so amazingly bored and lazy with life. I have a million inspiring amazing things i have planned to do and achieve. But all i can do is think about them. Have been for years. I get bored and am always so angry that i am so lazy and just cant do anything. Id honestly rather just do nothing and stay in bed all day because it is easy. Even thinking certain things is too hard and im too lazy to even think. Also-I am constantly bitter and angry about so many things every single day. And i am right, but it is also draining and killing me. And i cant get rid of the urge to do it because to me it is very imporant. I always feel the absolute essential need to point out why certain things are wrong. I cant let something go and just not care like everyone else does, when is it blantantly wrong, or not true or unfair. I cant just sit there and not say anything about something that is wrong and enrages me. I feel i need to do it, to make my boyfriend aware and to inform him, so i am not at a disadvantage compared to certain things - eg fake airbrushed pictures of women who in real life are dogs - i cant stand the fact that he may think they are beautiful because when they are not. That fake processed image is all he knows and therefore thinks this person is beautiful- which is ridiculous to me. He gets angry and says he doesnt care, all he knows is what he sees and thats beautiful.. and that enrages me soul, it is very unfair and he is being ignorant. i know this person isnt beautiful in real life-it is not just a simple matter of opinion, to me he is not really thinking the person is beautiful, technically he likes the way the pixels of the image are arranged. And i cant understand why he doesnt want to be informed, why does he not care? why does he want to remain ignorant and WRONG. It puts me at a disadvantage because he sees me in every situation and it is not fair for some unworthy woman to be put on a pedastool like that in a very fake and controlled image. I need to point this out about everything. I cant let it slide, and it is causing problems with us. I feel i am very within my rights to be like this, and he honestly is wrong for not wanting to be visually literate and informed. I feel if i dont point these things out, he will continue to be ignorant and constantly think dogs are better looking than myself. This is just ridiculous and i dont understand why he is resisting. How do i make him see? I dont know what all of this means, i dont know why i find it so important, but it really is. Thank you friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Of course your boyfriend knows they are airbrushed. However, people like the fantasy. An airbrushed model or celebrity in a magazine is a fantasy, just like the Hollywood movies. It kind of ruins a movie if you have to tell yourself that the scenes were shot at some backlot of the studio, or that if you look closely you can see continuity mistakes. Admiring the photo in a magazine doesn't mean the partner takes you less seriously or doesn't think you are pretty and amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamtrying Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Why would he want fantasise about another person and how they look? What wud be the point in him being with me. Its not ok to have the best of both worlds that is ridiculous. It is emotional cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 It is only a photo in a magazine. Plenty of women read romance novels and fantasize about that. As long as the fantasizing is not about a person they actually know in real life then it is not emotional cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 OP, that is a really unrealistic view. It's normal to have fantasies about others (even air brushed others) when in a relationship with someone else. The point of being in a relationship with you is that the relationship is real life. You do things together in real life, hug in real life, kiss in real life, have sex in real life. Get the real life part? Thats what distinguishes you from the fantasy and makes it special. I do NOT think you are "within your rights" to keep discussing this when he has told you he is well aware of the air brushing and doesn't care and has asked you to stop and you can see its upsetting him. Well, you may be "within your rights" of free communication - but it would be as annoying as all h***. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamtrying Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 OP, that is a really unrealistic view. It's normal to have fantasies about others (even air brushed others) when in a relationship with someone else. The point of being in a relationship with you is that the relationship is real life. You do things together in real life, hug in real life, kiss in real life, have sex in real life. Get the real life part? Thats what distinguishes you from the fantasy and makes it special. I do NOT think you are "within your rights" to keep discussing this when he has told you he is well aware of the air brushing and doesn't care and has asked you to stop and you can see its upsetting him. Well, you may be "within your rights" of free communication - but it would be as annoying as all h***. I disagree. It is pathetic that it is considered normal that one should feel ok and "love" someone while fantasising about others. Why do they want to? And why the hell would they need to? What is the point? We are a product of 4 million years of evolutionary success, its not to much to ask of someone to act like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamtrying Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 OP, that is a really unrealistic view. It's normal to have fantasies about others (even air brushed others) when in a relationship with someone else. The point of being in a relationship with you is that the relationship is real life. You do things together in real life, hug in real life, kiss in real life, have sex in real life. Get the real life part? Thats what distinguishes you from the fantasy and makes it special. I do NOT think you are "within your rights" to keep discussing this when he has told you he is well aware of the air brushing and doesn't care and has asked you to stop and you can see its upsetting him. Well, you may be "within your rights" of free communication - but it would be as annoying as all h***. You cant honestly believe that, the defining factor is only physical or 'real life'. You cant honestly believe thats as deep as it gets.? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForumGuy Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 In putting your first and second paragraphs together, it looks to me like you are suffering from depression. Thinking about doing things and lying in bed all day because you are too lazy is a sure symptom of this. The depression has lowered your self-esteem to the point that you must pick apart people and things, attempting to feel better about yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 From what I can tell over the threads you have posted, you appear to have had little encouragement. In fact the opposite from pretty much everyone you know. Couldn't blame you for having a lack of motivation, for anything. You just need encouragement from the right people. The people who matter to you. But it appears they are doing the opposite. Since encouragement is pretty much at a minimal, just believe you can do whatever you want and take the steps to get there. Whatever they maybe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamtrying Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 OP, that is a really unrealistic view. It's normal to have fantasies about others (even air brushed others) when in a relationship with someone else. The point of being in a relationship with you is that the relationship is real life. You do things together in real life, hug in real life, kiss in real life, have sex in real life. Get the real life part? Thats what distinguishes you from the fantasy and makes it special. I do NOT think you are "within your rights" to keep discussing this when he has told you he is well aware of the air brushing and doesn't care and has asked you to stop and you can see its upsetting him. Well, you may be "within your rights" of free communication - but it would be as annoying as all h***. So are u telling me there is no such thing as true honor? Look it up in any dictionary and any sense of the word. And u will find that technically by definition this is what you are saying.. And this is clearly not true. It may be rare, for reasons that i couldnt be bothered getting into as it just angers me too much, but its not true. Do i sound pretty black and white? Kind of similar to someone who thinks that is only matters if it is physical, when all of us knows as being human there is soooooo much more than that. geez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaintWithLight Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Do you have a point, perhaps. But it is lost in the layers of anger and strident comments. You want to shake your boyfriend so he wakes up and sees reality. If you don't do it, who will? Those are troubling statements of intolerance hiding behind lofty protests about true honor and real life. First, how about some facts. You are mid-20's and so is your guy? Many men might share your view but only after they have matured and evaluated life on their own terms. To hit him over the head with it, will not speed his development. Also, are you as fit and attractive as you can be? Tearing down the "fake glamour girls" will not increase your desirability. Focus this energy on becoming the best person you can be. You will find that your anger about this topic will decrease marketably. But by all means, if you prefer, continue with your attitude with your guy. You will only drive him away. You can then sit in solitude and polish your medals and seethe in your own anger. Life is not always fair nor as correct as we would like it to be. Try to be happier and pull back on the moral policing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaywalk Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Ignorance (as they say) is bliss. I can appreciate where your coming from and what your intentions are but from my experience, people aren't as interested in the facts as you are and for that matter nothing you do or say will change them until they are ready to change their viewpoint. At the risk of sounding mean I would guess that you feel on some level as if your stability in your relationship is threatend by an airbrushed woman in a magazine/computer/t.v. As intellectual as you present yourself, might I remind you how irrational that is? You are threatened by an image of a woman? And if I miss my guess, perhaps you feel the need to show your intellectualism by bludgeoning people over pointing out the inaccuracies of the media outlets as they relate to women thereby rendering yourself superior to them in your assessments. What does that say about you and the choices in people you've surrounded yourself with? As a truly enlightened person, is it within you to accept that people are not perfect,yes is yes and no is no,and those airbrushed people don't hold a candle to the reality that is the one and only you to your SO? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.