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What is wrong with me?


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I feel...numb...empty...relieved...lonely...I don't know if I miss him or not. I feel like crying but for some reason, the tears don't come. I have no emotions right now. I'm just kinda...existing.

 

I've been sitting here all day with obsessive thoughts about the past...I begin to get enraged, lonely, and a few minutes later I think to myself "eh, who cares." I feel like I just wanna hug and kiss him, but I wanna punch his face in at the same time.

 

I make myself crazy wondering about how I'll react if I were to ever see him with his new girlfriend. I don't wanna have to avoid him for the rest of my life...I don't wanna live in fear of seeing them.

 

I think I've gone insane.

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nothing is wrong with you - these are all completely normal emotions and they are indicative of one thing: you're healing! as time goes on the pain will be less, and less. but the pain you're feeling now is simply your mind adapting to life without your ex, it's learning how to be happy independently from your ex. your mind is changing, and with change comes pain. but it's changing for the better, so take comfort in that.

 

listen to some tunes, download a good comedy, go on youtube and watch some stand up comedy; you hungry? go get some pizza or something, take a nice drive; is your gym open? go play some basketball or run on the treadmill

 

I've found reading incredibly valuable when feeling down, because reading requires your entire concentration, and if you're concentrating on the material you're reading, you're not thinking of your ex. preferably on a topic you're most interested in -- so you can be completely absorbed in the literature -- for me it's abnormal psychology; when I start reading about crazy people the last thing on my mind is my ex.

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I agree that there's nothing wrong with you. You just have to let this run its course and let yourself heal through time, like a cold virus. I know it's cliche, but that's how we get over break ups.

One day you will be able to accept the fact that he found a new girlfriend. You will see the two of them and be glad that the two of you moved on.

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