I am confused Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 First off. No offense to the gay community My best friend and I are both 24 years old. We've known each other since 5 years old. Our parents are long time friends. We are your regular young men with a bit of an edge you may say. I have been keeping a secret for a while and it's killing me. this is the story. Let's call my best friend Larry. 6 months ago, after after a long work week, we decided to go to a bar and relax. We are social drinkers so the main point was not to get wasted. We're there 2 hours and I notice this Beautiful so I made a move. to cut out much details we ended up having a three way conversation. Somehow sex came up and to my surprise she appeared to be very loose( red flag). Larry made a move so we all decided to take it somewhere else if you know what I mean. At one point she was suggesting that we goto her place ( Red flag). We declined as we weren't to comfortable with this idea. So she said why don't we find a parking lot(red flag). ( I must both Larry and i aren't drunk) Now that we in her car , we are driving around looking for a deserted lot. In the meantime the mood is getting steamy. We pulled in lot she gets out of the car to take a phone call. In the mean time I go " Larry I don't feel right about this, I'm staring at her and something is off" " What do you mean" he says . " Well she looks like a man, I'm looking at her jaw line and it's not looking right" "Oh shut up, stop being a Little B!!!!"... She gets back in the car , the conversation is cut short. Mind you, I'm in the back seat and I am watching her reaching over to the passenger seat to perform on Larry. Boyyy he was enjoying himself, for some reason all my doubts went out the window and I became impatient for my turn. Larry is done now it's my turn, She agreed to have sex with me instead. She offered a condom but I didn't trust it so Larry ran to the nearest store to get some. 3 minutes go by and Larry isn't back yet, so I took her condom and proceeded to put it on. As I'm ready to enter , I pull her skirt down then proceeded to get the leggings out of the way. She goes no I just want anal, So I said I'm not too sure about that. She then showed me a hole in the Leggings where I should stick it through with out pulling the leggings down. So I'm asking why do you have that hole sitting there at the perfect spot like this? is this what you do? I'm getting a bit nervous so i raise my voice a bit, she then tried to push me off of her. Somehow my hands landed on her private. OHH man I felt it and it was man. Now I am running out this car and bumped into Larry on his way back. " Why are you running" I didn't know what to say , so out of no where i go" She pulled out a knife on me let's go" So we both just ran away. 6 months later Larry has no clue of what really happened. I have been trying to bury this but every now and then he brings the story as one of those days he will never forget. I am not gay but I cant stop thinking that I had a full erection in sight of another man. I want to tell Larry so bad but I don't know how he will react to this. we've been buddies for ever I don't want this to break us up. If anyone could tell me how to better deal this , I would appreciate it. I have a girlfriend now should I let her know about this? I watched this show the other day about married men living a double life, Sometimes I feel like I am in this category. This is my first time opening up about this, so please don't go hard on me. I know it was a dumb move we made that night. Once again I don't mean any offense to anyone. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 First of all - decide what you motive is? Are you wanting to upset your friend or do you think he has a double life and you are trying to create an intervention? Do you want to tell him so you can feel important or have something over on him. In some ways, I am sure this is a made-up story. To give you the benefit of the doubt...If the person was dressed as and could "pass" as a woman, I don't necessarily think your friend is gay. It could be a mistaken identity situation. There are bona fide natural-born women out there who don't have a petite, feminine jaw line so not every woman who is not that ideal is a man. If this is the case, then your friend either won't believe you or will be a bit disturbed by the revelation. If Larry was leading a double life, he certainly wouldn't have let you watch, now would he? He would be keeping a secret from you, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 So what is the big deal? You guys got drunk and had sex with someone who your probably wouldn't have has sex with while sober. Welcome to being *most people in the world*. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsThisIt Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Don't have sex with strangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This is a funny story and I doubt it actually. Too many things don't make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graydarkness Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 It's been 6 months...? Well if it's that important try telling him. Maybe he'd understand you were just trying to keeping him from feeling... gay. If you think he'd be so mad that he wouldn't want to be your friend anymore... well I know keeping secrets is tough. Trust me - it isn't easy, but it's sometimes better than spilling your guts. ( I'm gay myself so I guess I'd be pretty weirded out if a man I was triyng to hook up with turned out to be a woman... but that's what happens sometimes. And it was only a bj. It's not like he was raped or something. He wasn't harmed at all. And he ENJOYED it. Maybe it isn't as important telling him as you think it is? Just let that memory stay a kinda good one? But its your call. That's only a suggestion. And your girlfriend... again, if its important enough, then tell her. Because if you can't keep secrets then it'll just keep on building pressure until you do tell both of them. So you might as well get it over with now, while the situation is still in your control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hm, where to start with this one. 1) You start your post saying "No offense to the gay community..." but then proceed to make some rather clear statements that you're struggling with homophobia. Just appreciate that. It's like saying "First off, I'm not racist" but then making racist comments a few paragraphs later. That doesn't work. 2) To be clear, the person you encountered is not a "man". "Man" notates gender, not sex. She very well might be male, but from what you described she's certainly a woman. Try to appreciate the very real difference between sex and gender. 3) Enjoying a blowjob from someone does not necessary imply anything about your sexuality. The last time I checked, there wasn't a big difference between male and female mouths and tongues. Obviously, our attraction to perform this act with specific people is rooted in our sexuality--but the act itself is going to be similarly performed by both genders. 4) Your concern is rooted in homophobia. I mean, your whole reaction to the event is what is typically referred to as "Homosexual Panic" link removed -- I mean, I'm gay--and if I went to a bar and got seduced by some person whom I thought was a guy, who brought me back to his car and performed oral sex on me, and I somehow discovered that he was female, I'd probably laugh. I mean I'm laughing at my desk right now even thinking about that scenario. Because really, transgendered people are people too. They have desires and attractions. The person you encountered is attracted to straight men, and straight men are who they typically have relations with. Obviously, you are under no obligation to continue a sexual encounter after discovering these details, but you also don't need to behave like it's some sort of catastrophic event either. Because it's not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brownstone322 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This is a funny story and I doubt it actually. Too many things don't make sense. I've actually seen a couple variations of this story before. Troll alert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Meh, these are the hazards of having random sex with someone you meet in a bar and go to the car with! You have worse things to worry about than whether it was a man, like whether that person might roll you then kill you or give you HIV or other STD. The whole story is sad and kind of sordid, and has nothing to do with the 'girl' being a guy. I'd just forget about it and next time he brings it up tell him the whole experience was nasty and you don't intend to engage in that kind of behavior ever again and don't want to hear the same story til you're bored silly over it. Doesn't matter whether it's with a guy or a girl, don't have sex with people you just met in a bar in the parking lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I've actually seen a couple variations of this story before. Troll alert. Even if it's a troll, I am sure the scenario can and does happen. I don't know any transgendered women who introduce themselves with "Hi, I'm transgendered". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I've actually seen a couple variations of this story before. Troll alert. I have too and yes I think they are a troll. However, I do have a friend who picked up a hooker on the street, she was blowing him then he found out she was a man. He didn't care though because he's bi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Fathom is exactly right. Transgendered people are different from gay people, and should not be described as such. Regardless, it's YOUR homophobia that's leading to you feeling uncomfortable. As far as your friend is concerned, it was a woman - and therefore a female mouth that was giving him a blowjob. Bottom line is, let it go. And try not to be so homophobic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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