courtney06 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Ever get those random: "You look sad, are you ok?" when you're actually just relaxed or just in deep thought? Or the "You always look mad"? I came up with a technique to minimize this problem if you don't want to read my babbling just skip down the the bold text. I've always had this problem and I realized I'm not the only one (I googled this). I could simply be deep in thought and have no facial expression. When I have no expression, I probably look sad or upset to some people. I can't really think of anyone who looks happy when they have no expression unless they had a Botox. There was a time when I was taking a dance class and my instructor finally pulled me a aside and privately told me that the students were afraid to approach me because I always looked mean. It does get annoying after a while. I remember whenever I visited my grandparents, I every 5 minutes they'd ask me what's wrong. I never understood why they asked that until I got a little older. I also work at a retail store so if customers notice I'm not smiling after 10 seconds, they're going to think I'm sad, upset, tired, etc. When a total stranger has the nerve to tell me to smile, that's when it feels like they're getting into my personal space and it discourages me from smiling even more. So I developed a trick that really made a huge difference. Whenever I make eye contact with people, I smile. As soon as a I look away, I go back to my normal face. Even when I'm in a bad mood, as soon as my eyes meet someone elses, I force myself to smile even if I have to fake it. While I'm speaking to them or listening to them speak to me, I smile occasionally and nod my head. That part was always tricky for me because typically when I'm in listening mode, I'm focusing on what the person is saying and my face turns serious. At first the smiles felt fake at first (because they are) but after a while they felt more natural the more I did it. It can be draining, but it's worth it if you want to seem approachable. I tried this technique at work for 3 days and it really helped. I also found was that it put me in a better mood the more I did it. This technique doesn't work if you're doing something that doesn't involve contact with other people, but other people are watching you. For example, walking down the street. I've found several blogs about people walking down the street and some random person comes up to them telling them to smile or asking them what's wrong. I wouldn't worry about that unless you're in a room where you are expected to socialize like at a club or classroom. If anyone has any other tips please share I'd really appreciate it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TidalWave Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I've never been asked those questions myself. People keep asking me what's funny, or what's up, or why am I smiling when there's really not much to smiling about instead. I guess it's because I simper all the time. I took a step back and saw the life for what it was. How one thing relates to another. Why people do what they do, think what they think. When I see someone who's done something better than me, e.g. dress better and more stylish, I feel nostalgia and I smile ('cuz I know it's not that hard to dress yourself in style that strikes, yet I don't do it even tho' I want). When I see someone who dress worse than me, I feel the same nostalgia for them. When I hear people talk about what they would want to do, but all they do is talk, I simper, because I know, they might find it hard to go after the things they want, while in reality it's quite easy. I really do feel nostalgic, seeing people not getting what they want, wasting their potential, not being as good as they could be, because their fear is preventing them from it. While all they have to do is let go and reach out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I get this very frequently. People assume I'm depressed when I'm very happy. I'm like...what?? They need to come out with a pill like this. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I've never been asked those questions myself...... This is interesting. There are times when I'm smiling at people and instead of smiling to be nice, but this isn't nostalgia for me. I guess I'm being secretly mean. Like if a customer forgot their receipt and had to get store credit and they are an annoying customer, I'm smiling at them. Or I'm smiling at someone because they look hideous and I'd hate to be the person that had to wake up next to them every morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yea I agree it's like right after they ask, I'm feel totally confused because it's such a random question to me. Haha I thought the commercial with the sushi right before the news report was supposed to be the pill. Anyway, I had NO idea there were people who suffered from excessive perkiness. I learned something new today! I thought they were just brought up that way. I think I might know someone who is like that because there is not one time when she is in a relaxed mood and it gets annoying after a while. They must have no problem falling asleep after using all that energy. Did that man curse during the interview? I could have sworn he said "fkking annoying" right at the end O_o I get this very frequently. People assume I'm depressed when I'm very happy. I'm like...what?? They need to come out with a pill like this. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoneCrazy Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I do this to and when it comes to the public or strangers I always smile, so I look okay and happy, even tho i'm in a sh** mood. Some people just have the look like they are mad or unhappy the, just the way that they are born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I do this to and when it comes to the public or strangers I always smile, so I look okay and happy, even tho i'm in a sh** mood. Some people just have the look like they are mad or unhappy the, just the way that they are born. Agreed. Some people just give off that demeanor. Many people say that they thought I was sad, until they hear my voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 when Im thinking, all of the time, I get a frowny face too. I make the effort to smile like you do too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissSMcc Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 i get the same thing, people always asking whats wrong. i guess i just have a naturally stroppy face lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foefiddy Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I've had this happen as well. I've been trying to get in the mindset of smiling more often but it feels so awkward. I guess its just gonna take some practice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yea it feels really awkward at first but eventually you get used to it. It takes one day at a time. I ask myself would I rather be asked what I'm smiling about instead of what's wrong. I've had this happen as well. I've been trying to get in the mindset of smiling more often but it feels so awkward. I guess its just gonna take some practice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I don't think anyone get away with having a straight face without being asked what's wrong unless they got botox i get the same thing, people always asking whats wrong. i guess i just have a naturally stroppy face lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin715 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Yeah, the same thing happens to me. But most of the time, I don't really have much reason to smile if I'm not truly happy, and I've got even less reason to smile openly when you consider the gap between my two front teeth that I'm self-conscious about. If not for that, I'd probably try to smile more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtney06 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Yea it is a lot harder to smile if you're not happy and you don't feel confident about how you look. If that really bothers you I think the dentist can fix that or just learn to accept it like Madonna did. Yeah, the same thing happens to me. But most of the time, I don't really have much reason to smile if I'm not truly happy, and I've got even less reason to smile openly when you consider the gap between my two front teeth that I'm self-conscious about. If not for that, I'd probably try to smile more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin715 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Yea it is a lot harder to smile if you're not happy and you don't feel confident about how you look. If that really bothers you I think the dentist can fix that or just learn to accept it like Madonna did. Yeah, that's exactly what I plan to do when I get enough money. Luckily it's about 2-3mm, yet it's still noticeable, so a bonding job should do the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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