kbaby Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 People tell me i may be to young to understand what love is and what love isnt. But i think i would have to disagree, but im now, in need of major advicce. Im18 years old. ive been dating this guy, for about 2 and a half years, but its not been the most pleasant time in my life. i fell in love with him so fast, and i let him take my virginity. we started doing great, we really did. cute little couple always together. then, drugs started stepping in the way, but i never seen anything wrong with it. i heard about how he cheated on me and blahh blahh, but i didnt believe a word. a YEAR goes by.. and oneday, he decided he wanted to tell me a few things. he ended up cheating on me twice, oncce by kissing a girl. then having sex with his ex who HE lost HIS virginity to, a month after he took mine. did i care? yes, i bawled my eyes out, but did i even break up with him? no. i love the kid. everything went down hill, i was so unsure of myself. we fought alot, i got jealous and scared. then drugs, he started lying about it and everything. he broke up with me almost every chance he got.. then a month before our two years, he broke up with me randomly, literally out of no where, and thats when i said screw it ya know? so i went out with some friends.. and i ended up doing something with a guy, i wish i never did with. but i told my "ex" the next day, cause i felt so bad. he was hurt, but then went off on me ofcourse, lol then thats when everything REALLY went down.. he decided that he was gonna try and mess with my head. he said he forgave me.. then started talking to me as if we were gonna get back together. oneday we messed around,, and three days later he had a new girlfriend. told me i meant nothing to him. i was crushed. a month goes by, he cheated on her with me.. we were gonna get back together. and i found out he was messing around with this OTHER girl, Maria, but i didnt care. he told me he still wanted me and loved me. then the next day, hes dating a girl named cassie. UGH right? lol doesnt stop there, i didnt date anyone, or mess around with anyone. i was waiting for him.. then him and cassie break up, and he goes back for me.. but a week later, i found out he was trying to date a girl named brittny.(lol) then he gave her up, and tried to date me again,,, but the night we were supposed to be together,,, he has sex with cassie... we are dating again, and he says he's really willing to try and work things out with me. im not trying to sit here and pour my heart out to anyone, or get any sympathy im just STUCK, and its unbeliebable. should i do what my heart tells me? i love him, no doubt. and as unfair as i think it is for what he did to me.. i just cant walk away. but is this healthy? always holding onto something that may not even be true? =/ i may have my whole life ahead of me.. but im not sure what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I've read the post a couple of times and I still can't figure out which GIRL is seeking advice? Your profile states you are MALE, dating another guy etc. Who's the girl in the story who wants advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingtheBlame Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 You already know this isn't healthy. Do you honestly think things will change in the future between you two? If you decide not to walk away, what do you think will change? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbaby Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 lol ive never used this site. so i guess i didnt set it up right? Im a girl, definatly not a guy, and IM seeking help and idk, ive thought things would change, and they havent. but then again, i cant predict the future, i can only guy by chance to an extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 You keep making your world about this guy, and it's costing you. Big time. If we tell you to dump him and move forward, it's doubtful you'd listen. So keep making your mistakes with him until you get tired enough of doing that. Meanwhile, do everything you can to prevent pregnancy or picking up an STD from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingtheBlame Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 So you thought things would change and they haven't. Why would they change now? Not enough time has gone by for this guy to change his behavior. He is still the same person who did all those childish things you posted about. Just because he says he is willing to try and work things out with you doesn't mean he won't do what he did before, because he hasn't gone through enough time and maturing to be any different than before. I don't think you should take him back right now...give him some space to get his act together and grow up a little bit and try to move on in the meantime. Won't you feel terrible if you take him back and you find out he's doing all the childish stuff he did before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainDrop 2911 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Run for your lfe girl !! You're going to end up even more messed up by him if you keep in contact with him. He clearly knows how to work the girls so that it suits him and then gets rid of who he wants when he wants. He knows what to say to get you back but really you need to think about it. You KNOW he doesn't want a long relationship with you, but knows it's what you want so will say what it takes to persuade you, and then moves on without you. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and how can you ever trust someone who has done this to you so many times ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbaby Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I guess taking advice isn't the easiest thing to do, but i really do appccriate the replies. I need to do whats best for me, not what i would be be best for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Wow, I literally lost track of all the girls he's been dating. Seriously hun, why are you even bothering with him? He goes from one girl to the next and you are just allowing him to have his cake and eat it too. If he's been cheating on you, and been dating several girls within the short time frame that you've been together, do you seriously think he's going to change for you? He's already dated 5 other girls, and possibly slept with all of them while 'trying' to get back into your life. He will never take you seriously. You also have to be worried about catching an STD. Never make someone a priority when you are just an option. This isn't healthy, at all. Where is your self respect? Don't let him walk all over you, you deserve better than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse love Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 This guy seems stringing many girls, and there is a possibility that he can take advantage of you for only his own terms, when he gets bored with other girls etc. It may be a good idea to take it slow, and get to know him very well before going too far. Also I think it is important to get tested for STD etc before become intimate with him to make sure both of you are safe from disease. If you really want to be with this guy, you may accept as he is and try not to put too much expectation on him, since high expectation can give you disappointment later on. I understand it is hard to move on, but if you can't accept as he is, move on may be better option for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windycitygal Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Aww, I'm sorry this is all going on. You're so young (not to patronize you or anything) but you'll have many boys and later, men, come in and out of your life. He is not the only boy (and that's what he is.. a boy!) who will be in your life. You'll meet so many better people who *will* treat you right and the way you deserve to be treated. It will hurt right now to end things with him but know that you're just going onto bigger and better things! Hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perio Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 STDs. Be very careful! His actions have nothing to do with love. Love is a verb, but nothing like he is doing. Protect your heart and your body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpottiOtti Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Sweetie, every girl has had that one guy in her life that took advantage of her feelings, used her, lied to her, cheated to her, lied to her some more, and made her so crazy that she didn't recognize herself. This is that guy for you. You will get past this, and someday you'll be thirty years old saying exactly what I'm saying to you, to another young girl. Eventually, you will tire of the situation, and you will simply remove yourself from it. And when you do, you will realize how easy it is to do something that previously seemed impossible. You'll hurt and cry and feel like your whole body is a giant raw wound, but eventually a barrier will break in your mind, and you will walk through it and open a new chapter in your life, taking with you the lessons you've learned from this joker. Caution: you may be bitter toward men for awhile. But you'll work through that too. All that said, I know the pain you are feeling is real, and I am so sorry you are having to feel it. And like the above poster said, please protect yourself. The last thing you need is to get pregnant by this guy, or get a disease from him. Take care, hon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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