WhatSetsUs Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I just need to get some thoughts out of my head... I've been broken up with my ex girlfriend for a month now and I've been in NC the whole time. Having gone through three breakups in 4 years, it seems like I've gotten pretty good at handling myself after the breakup. Sticking to NC has been pretty easy and I'm not depressed like I had been after the first two breakups. I've kept pretty busy considering I'm still home for winter break, and I've got a lot of things to look forward to in the upcoming semester. Things have been surprisingly ok. Although at first I didn't think so, I know that I can make it through this breakup and move on with my life. Despite all this, I still miss my ex like crazy and want to get back together with her. I've really dealt with the things that I contributed to the breakup, and I know that our relationship would finally work out the way it should've all these years. We've been through a lot, but our relationship has grown in ways that many others don't get the chance to do. For some reason, I feel compelled to fight for her at least one more time. I guess maybe I'm being a little over-romantic, but I really think the love that we shared is worth trying for. We made a lot of plans for our future together, and I would love to see those through. Over the past two weeks I have been planning to talk to her. I've written down all my thoughts and I know exactly what I want to say. But I don't know if I'll actually go through talking to her again. I told myself that I was going to talk to her this week, yet every night I end up not doing it. Am I crazy for even wanting to fight for this relationship again? What should I do? Any advice is welcome. Thanks ENA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Go beyond Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 How did your relationship end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihongo Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Who broke up with whom and why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatSetsUs Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 How did your relationship end? We kept having the same fight over and over again in November. We would have it about once a week. It basically boiled down to me being a little too insensitive and not emotionally supportive enough, and my ex being too emotional and too "needy." I think a lot of the reason why we started fighting was because we were both in a really stressful time in our lives. We both had a lot of stuff going on in school and we were both applying to grad schools. Unfortunately I let my stress get the best of me and I got pretty short tempered during towards the end of our relationship. Anyway, at the beginning of December she told me she wanted to go on a break til I got home from college. She assured me we weren't gonna breakup with me. Well, I called her a week after we went on break and she broke up with me. She basically told me I was too insensitive and not nice enough and that she didn't want to give me anymore chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SethSLC Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Ahhh Stress... The silent Relationship Assassin Stress needs to be dealt with and associated with the correct source. Usually it goes unnoticed usually it is taken out on things or people that have nothing to do with the cause of the Stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatSetsUs Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Ahhh Stress... The silent Relationship Assassin Stress needs to be dealt with and associated with the correct source. Usually it goes unnoticed usually it is taken out on things or people that have nothing to do with the cause of the Stress. Yeah stress was the death of our relationship. It just sucks cause you don't realize its causing all the problems until its all too late. But to me, its such an easy fix and we would be perfect. I just wish I could find a way to show her that this is worth working out. It just seemed like we had our futures all planned together, and now I'm left wondering about whats going to happen to me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatSetsUs Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 After thinking about it for awhile, I think I'm going to contact my ex on Monday. I'm gonna take the weekend to get my thoughts all together and then hopefully when I contact her she'll be receptive to what I have to say. I can't help but want to fight for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D3adkl0wn Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 good luck man, i'm in the same position.. I want my ex back so bad but i dont think its going to happen due to our unique situation.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatSetsUs Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 good luck man, i'm in the same position.. I want my ex back so bad but i dont think its going to happen due to our unique situation.. All we can do is give it a try, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatSetsUs Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 I called my ex last night...she didn't answer (didn't really expect her to) but I left her a voicemail. I asked her to give me a chance to talk to her about the stuff I've been thinking about. I told her I realized she might not want to talk to me, but to let me know either way (so I'm not just waiting around for her). I still haven't heard anything back from her. I'm feeling pretty low and realizing that I may never get the chance to talk to my ex ever again. It's hard imagining moving on from this anytime soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhere Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I called my ex last night...she didn't answer (didn't really expect her to) but I left her a voicemail. I asked her to give me a chance to talk to her about the stuff I've been thinking about. I told her I realized she might not want to talk to me, but to let me know either way (so I'm not just waiting around for her). I still haven't heard anything back from her. I'm feeling pretty low and realizing that I may never get the chance to talk to my ex ever again. It's hard imagining moving on from this anytime soon. hey, i'm in the same boat. Called ex last week and hasn't called me back...i have a feeling she never will. I felt low. I had my future planned out too and i felt pretty lost after. Now let me give you some advice. You weren't insensitive, she was just emotionally unstable. I got the same thing from my ex. I know what kind of problems my ex has in her life and she is a certain way. It just means that you two were not emotionally compatible. As for you trying to fix the relationship....it's what you do...and i know this because it's what i do, i'm a problem solver...and most men are by nature. You want to try everything before you give up and at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you gave it your all. Women are emotional, they act based on what they feel. If she feels a certain way, doesn't matter if she thinks that the relationship can be fixed her emotion towards you being insensitive takes over. Scientifically speaking, women's emotional centers in the brain are in both hemispheres while men have it in just one, that's why we can ignore emotions while a woman cannot think straight or looses her sex drive when she is upset. So, it's not you. She can't help it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatSetsUs Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 Very interesting point. She is definitely what I call the "emotional type." She has always let her emotions dictate her actions; it was especially evident during our breakups. I know I'm in a place now where I can be more emotional available to her which is why I went out on a limb and contacted her. She eventually did get back to me on facebook, so I sent her back a message explaining to her my feelings and basically letting her know I want to be with her. The choice is ultimately up to her, but I hope she can see the potential for this relationship like I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.