the hello/goodbye kiss

[Ginger1]

I should have posted this BEFORE the holiday season, but I forgot. I end up going to a lot of family and friend functions, dinner parties, cocktail parties. whatever. And inevitably there is always kissing between friends as you walk in the door.

 

I never know the protocol here- do I kiss them, do they kiss me- sometimes it ends in neither kissing, just kind of cheek on cheek. meh. And is it different for girl-girl and girl guy?

 

I'll lay out an example here. I go to a party w/ my family while I'm visiting (I'm 20s/girl). Walk into the house and see some friends- older-parents-age friends and I usually go for the hug/kiss combo- if it's a man do I kiss them, they kiss me?

 

Thanks for any insight. I probably over-think this type of this because I've never been super comfortable with closeness. But don't get me wrong, I'm not awkward and would go for a handshake with good friends of the family!

[testcase]

Hmmm. I just toss out hugs, not kisses. But I suppose it'd be different depending on your culture? With how uncomfortable I am with closeness a hug is good enough from me!

[generaldiscord]

Here is my personal protocol:

 

There are three types of formal family and friends holiday greetings. Shaking hands, hugging, and kiss/kiss.

 

Shaking hands: Smile warmly, give a rigid hand which is not too tight (especially with arthritic people!!!!)

 

Hugging: Left hand down, right hand up, tap the back lightly for at most 2 seconds.

 

Kiss/kiss: Shake hands and touch the right cheek and then the left cheek lightly with yours while barely making a kissing sound with your lips.

 

Now, you can deflect either the kiss/kiss or the hug with a handshake and a warm smile. Just keep your elbow rigid and pretend you don't notice them going for it. If you're really uncomfortable, you can always fake a cough and then salute jauntily instead.

 

Of course if you're interested in doing one of these but don't know which, it's always best to err on the side of female. Men are easy to confuse regardless of which gender is doing the hugging and kissing.

 

Kissing is best for old people who you want to show your love and affection for, but who are too fragile and weak to hug properly. Hugging is best left for people your own age or younger, and shaking hands is always good.

[3boys]

Personally, I only do hugs...maybe the occasional cheek "air kiss". Well, except for hubby's best friend, he does a full-on "sisterly" kiss on the lips, then a hug, but he's more like a brother than just a friend (the kids even call him "Uncle")....he does it with all of his sisters, mom, etc. (well, except for the 1 sister he can't stand~LOL!) so I've never really thought twice about it.