calling all moms..infant sleep issues.

[dangletsbang]

My five month old has never really slept all that great. As a newborn..well he was a typical newborn, up every 2ish hours..it eventually got better..he would sleep 4 to 5 hours, wake up, bottle, go back to sleep for another 3 or 4 hours. At 3 months old he started going backwards, according to his pediatrician..'3 month sleep regression'..up every 1 to 2 hours..fast forward two months and he's still in this habit. I work 45+ hours a week and this mommy is exhausted. If it weren't for my ADHD medication and starbucks I would be a real life zombie. I understand, it's part of being a mom..but honestly what i'm truly worried about is him getting enough restful sleep! How can he be getting good sleep when he won't sleep longer than 3 hours at a time? He plays constantly throughout the day..and usually has a couple of 20 or 30 minute naps. SOMETIMES he will take a better nap..1 or 2 hours but that's only occasionally, 2 or 3 times a week..and usually i'm the only one who can make him nap like that.

 

So, i'll give everyone a typical evening/night with Hayden..then you can give me advice/stories/tips on how to solve the problems. Before that though..I will tell you that he is with me on weekends since i'm off, with my mom [where we live] on mondays since she's off and with Trey's mom Tuesday - Friday. Trey's mom constantly gripes about how high maintenence he is, how he constantly screams bloody murder or wants to be held..how he won't nap, etc. Honestly I think it's because he doesn't like her. She wants a baby who will just play on the floor for hours at a time so she can do whatever she wants..but I will agree, Hayden does like a lot of attention. I wish more than anything he didn't have to go to her..but daycare is super expensive and i'm trying to avoid that right now..

 

Typical Evening with Hayman: After playing all day with his bahbo [trey's mom, don't ask] and several 20/30 minute cat naps - his dad will pick him up since i'm still at work and bring him home. Usually he will get home around 6:30. He will play/visit with either my mom, dad or Trey until I get home..usually 7:15ish..when I get home I will feed him his dinner, stage 1 baby food sometimes mixed with cereal sometimes not as well as his training sippy cup with very diluted juice. He eats pretty good, either two small jars or one bigger jar of food.

 

After dinner depending on his mood I will spend time with him playing, reading to him or letting him have tummy time on the floor while I lay with him. When he starts to get fussy or act tired, i'll start his bath water and give him his nightly bath. He'll play/relax usually for about 15 minutes until he starts rubbing his eyes and is definitely ready for bed..i'll dry him off, lotion him up, put him in a sleeper, put oragel or hyland's teething gel on his gums and give him a bottle. He'll drink at most 6oz and then pass out, i'll lay him in his crib and he will be out usually by 8:30..give or take 30 minutes some nights. On a typical night he awakes 3 times a night. First time..wakes between 11:30-12:30..will drink an ounce or two and then fall back asleep. Second time..wakes between 2:30-3:30...will drink an ounce or two and fall back asleep. Third time..same scenario at 4:30-5:30...it's 50/50 if I can get him to go back to sleep or if he wakes up and wants to stay up.

 

Like I said that's a typical night..sometimes he will wake up at 2am instead of waking up at 11 or 12..sometimes he will wake up hourly or every hour and a half. Last Tuesday night he was up literally every hour on the hour for a couple sucks of his bottle and then he'll drift off to sleep again. What I don't get is, he shouldn't be hungry..he's full when he goes to bed. He eats his dinner..and then 6 ounces of bottle an hour or less after his bath. All I can come up with is that's he's either thirsty..? or just isn't a very good sleeper, lol. I've gotten several bits of advice..that don't work for the following reasons.

 

Crying it Out - He has no problems going to sleep or sleeping in his crib, when he wakes up it's to get a drink of his bottle. I could let him cry it out..but if he's hungry or thirsty, I don't want to deprive him of that so that's why I haven't done it yet.

 

every other method people have suggested just aren't for the issues he's having..it's not the going to sleep part, it's the fact that he wakes up and wants his bottle. He doesn't nap well and he's not sleeping well at night..so I feel he's not getting enough sleep in general.

 

am I doing something wrong? do some babies just not need as much sleep as others?

[Seraphim]

I do not think you are doing anything wrong. Some kids ARE "high maitenance" or I call it highly interactive. Sometimes people have the idea that babies are all supposed to be the same and all need a certain amount of sleep and a certain amount of interactive time and if it does not fit with the "rule" there is something wrong or the mother is not doing something right. That is false. My son was always highly interactive with ME or my mom and always wanted us to interact with him and slept very little. I would say if he seems alert and not crabby and is playful and healthy he is ok. My son was a very small eater, not a good sleeper but he was usually well for the most part. He never slept a full night till he was 7 years old. I understand that you are tired. My first year as a mother was tiring too I used to walk into walls sometimes because I was SO tired. The first year which is what they say is pretty trying until you get your sea legs so to speak. I am happy to report my son now sleeps 9 hours a night and eats me out of house and home. I do not agree with just letting a baby cry it out, that never worked for me either. It just created more issues than it was worth.

[trezz]

so i'm going to be sexist!

BOY BABIES.

mine when a baby NEVER stopped he never slept and never stopped crying but he gained weight so no one took any notice of my complaints. he was severe. i was exhausted. even now 16 years later i remember it so clearly. the exhaustion was terrible.

the only thing to stop him crying was to lie him on a hard floor, he didn't like any soft surface or being held. constant feeding he had both breast and bottle and water in between. he just wanted to suck. the water was good at night. my mother said no one can sleep on a full stomach give him a feed then before he goes to bed give him a drink of water also durning the night. it lessened the crying but did not stop it.

now he is 16, 6foot 3 inches a very big build and in an advanced program at school. he is sociable and popular. i used to think he would have all sorts of medical/emotional issues and the crying/not sleeping were a sign of bad things to come.

is it something mums doing wrong?

don't think so my two girls were sleeping beauties.

don't care if i'm sexist boys are loud and want attention.

does he sleep now?

ha! not at night he's a teenager.

he still has strange sleeping behaviour. will sleep all weekend hardly ever sleeps on weeknights but still does well at school.

i dont understand how he gets by but it works well for him so i go with it.

[Ac143]

Alicia is 7.5 months and she still wakes up once a night, she was eating 2/3 times a night until recently- from what other mommies and my ped told me - its normal for babies to get up to eat up until a year old if not longer. Some parents are just "lucky" that have babies sleeping thru the night early on which makes us feel like we are doing something wrong when our babies arent. Hang in there!! I'm in the same boat! I wouldn't suggest letting him cry it out if he is eating & finishing his bottle when he wakes up, but if he's only eat 1 or 2oz he's not "starving" - have you tired just rocking him back to bed? Does he take a paci? Have you tried to get him to bed earlier then 830-9? From what I have read - babies start to get tired around 6pm and ready for the day to be over...maybe get him to sleep around 730? Since he doesn't take long naps maybe he is ready to go to bed earlier? Alicia goes down usually around 7-730 and sleeps until 7 am. What time does he wake up for the day?

 

Lots of babies catnap - I know a few that only nap for 30-45mins - Alicia loves her naps though, she is a napping queen! lol

 

Alicia is super high needs, she needs attention 24/7 and will not be alone for more then 2mins without screaming at me lol. Its hard, but Trey's mom has to learn to deal with it IMO lol.

[3boys]

At 5 months, it's not that unusual for him to still be waking up often. However, taking only an ounce or two probably means that he's not actually hungry/thirsty, he's looking for more of just the sucking action...if he was truly hungry/thirsty, he'd be taking more than an ounce or two...like Ac143 said, does he take a pacifier? Or, he could be "dried out" and in need of moisture and you could try a humidifier in the room.

 

The issue with not letting him "cry it out" is that the longer you put it off, the harder it will be to break him of the habit of needing to be immediately pacified whenever he makes a peep. I'm not saying you should let him scream his head off for an hour, but it's actually beneficial to let him learn to soothe himself back to sleep...the way to do this is to increase the time a little bit each time before you go to him, eventually, he will stop. Some kids do this quickly, others may take up to a month and around this age is when you should start doing it.

 

My sister-in-law rarely ever let her son cry and he's now almost a year old....he has yet to sleep longer than 3 hours at a stretch because he's become accustomed to being held while he sleeps and will only sleep about an hour (if even that) after you lay him down. She also would turn the tv down, the ringer off on the phone, basically make no noise around him and even now when he's napping, you can hardly talk in a normal voice around him because it will wake him up. When he's awake, she has constantly devoted 100% of her time to him and he is unable to entertain himself, even for a short time....if there's not someone playing with him or giving him attention, he will start crying, and, of course, they will immediately react. Again, I'm not saying she should put him on a blanket and leave him for an hour while she goes and does laundry, but he can't even be left on the blanket with some toys while she goes to the bathroom without him taking off after her, crying (unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating)....IMO, that's a little extreme....

 

On the boy/girl thing, I've heard it go both ways, but more often that boys are worse than girls. I was fortunate that my boys were all 3 good sleepers and still are....although my youngest sleeps so heavy, it worries me sometimes....he slept through an earthquake that started off with a very loud "earthquake boom" that sounded like a bomb had gone off right outside our house last year

 

BTW, if that's your son in your picture, he's a cutie

[rocio]

If he's waking up out of hunger, start stuffing him before bed. After the bath, give him lots of cereal. Make sure he hasn't eaten much so he has a big appetite, and then give him as much cereal as he'll take. It should fill his belly much longer than milk.

 

I'm not a fan of the cry it out method. Personally, I would just bring him to bed, keep the bottle on your night stand and plop it in his mouth when he fusses then cuddle him and he'll go back to sleep before he even realises he's awake.