thedude3000 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hello everyone I am new here. For starters I am a single father age 27 who has been looking for that person to spend the rest of my life with for some time now. I've dated a girl or two since my son's mother passed away and its been 5 years since that happened. My longest relationship was 4 years long but the girl wasn't mature enough for my situation. The girl I'm seeing right now has been in my life for a few months and everything is great most of the time. Apparently the week before her "time of the month" she gets extremely crabby and distant. She doesn't only treat me like this so I know that I'm not being singled out but it's weird to have your girlfriend telling you she misses you while you are at work one day and then the next really not wanting to talk to you much at all. We will still hang out but she doesn't want to snuggle very much or just wants to watch TV and veg out. I have to "walk on eggshells" to make sure i don't annoy her. Now I really love this girl and I know that she loves me, but it's hard thinking about dealing with this one week every month. Is that shallow of me? I mean I would definitely go through anything if I know this girl really loves me and will marry me at some point but it's hard when the emotions switch like this. Here are the things that are good between us. We both have a son and are single parents. Her son is 4 years old and mine is 6. They get along great. We can take the kids out places and do fun things together and we both have the same mindset with our kids being first. She is responsible and mature just like I am. We have instant chemistry since we first met. We just seem to get along most of the time and really learned to love each other quickly. Honestly the only problem is this few days where it just seems like she wants to be alone or gets easily annoyed with me when I'm just trying to see how she is doing. Now this week wasn't so bad. She only was really crabby the past 2 days and we spent a bunch of time together this weekend. I will also say that we are not having sex because we have decided to wait for each other until marriage. We are both Christians and wanted to wait for each other because we seem to have a special bond and think that we have a chance at making this a truly long term thing. My only worry is that 1 week a month I feel like my girlfriend doesn't really care about me. Should I just stick it out since everything is awesome when this isn't going on? I feel like I'm a pretty tolerant person but having to have my heartache every month seems like its going to be hard. Anyone have some advice for me? Thank you in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jooj Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 As a woman who goes through this every month, this is something we can't help. Every woman has different symptoms during this period. Some women get irritable, some women get depressed and some women become extremely sensitive. I know it's difficult for you to go through this with her but I'm sure she doesnt want to be that way but she can't help it. It's a biological process that happens in our body. Unconditional love means accepting the other person's flaws. When she is not in this period talk to her about this and figure out a plan of how to deal with it that will work for the both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedude3000 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 thank you for the reply. I think what you said makes sense and I kind of knew this answer already. i mean in my head i know that she says she doesn't want to act this way and that she really does love me, but in my heart it hurts to be distanced from her for this period of time. Especially when everything is so great outside of these few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedude3000 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 If anyone else has anything to say i'd appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jooj Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I know it hurts and it hurts for us to to be that way especially after that period is over we feel guilty about hurting our loved ones. Try to avoid disagreeing with her, arguing with her and criticizing her when she goes through this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedude3000 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 well the problem lies within that I just try to support her but she gets annoyed by that. LOL. It's against my nature to ignore a problem but it seems that I have to get used to giving her space when she is like this. It's been a really hard adjustment but I think I can work through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25something Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I go through this every month and like jooj was saying every woman is different. Your girlfriend though is exactly like me and its something that is just really hard to control and we don't mean to hurt the people we love. I get moody sometimes because my stomach has bad cramps, headache, backache, bleeding like crazy etc... What I found that does help control some of the mood swings is light exercising, yoga, & meditation. I'm sorry to hear about your situation but, beware a lot of woman are moody during the time of the month, even if you do find another new partner lets say, she might have other issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakingtheBlame Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I'm a bit concerned that after only "a few months" you are already having doubts about this relationship, especially if your major issue is something that only happens once a month. At the beginning of your post, you seem to imply that her mood swings are predictable and a result of something out of her control and purely hormonal (her "time of month") but then as your post continues, you seem to imply you feel she might not care about you when she acts that way. What do you truly believe, in your heart, is the reason for her actions? Do you honestly feel it's a hormonal thing as a result of her monthly "cycle" or do you perhaps feel insecure about the relationship in general, and think it's personal? There are so many worse things a potential mate can do than be a bit crabby once a month, and you seem to have had some experience in relationships before so I wonder whether something like this has ever bothered you about your past significant others...do you think maybe there is more to this uncertainty than just that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedude3000 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 It's just hard for me to have my girlfriend so distant feeling. And i do believe it is hormonal and it can be clocked to the week before her time every month. I just need to learn to deal with it. She knows its a problem for everyone around her including herself and she tries to deal with it. We will see what happens. Love conquers all right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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