please help want my bf back

[sarah]

Hi, here's my story in short. I broke up with my bf of a year a few weeks ago. While during the relationship he was extremely supportive and it was the best few months of my life. The only hitch was we were miles apart. It was almost picture perfect inspite of that until he cheated on me with another woman from his workplace. When things were out in the open it was very difficult for me to overcome the pain, but eventually I did and we carried on as a couple. But every now and then I will be terribly depressed and I broke up with him up a couple of times. Everytime we broke up both of us will be upset and miserable at the end of which we will realise that we are meant to be together and eventually get back. One thing I must mention here is that throughout this emotional turmoil, my bf stood by my side and kept assuring me that it was just a mistake and it happened because he was foolish and made every possible effort to soothe me and comfort me. He never for once lost patience with me. He appologised and was always understanding of the pain that I felt. I would be ok for a while and then depressed again. This happened for a while and finally a few weeks ago I felt as though I will never be able to forgive him completely and so I cut off all ties with him. He was shattered and so was I but we both made an attempt to move on.

Now here is my problem. Now that he is not there anymore I feel like i have made the biggest mistake of my life. Now when I look back and remember all his goodness, his support, his love, I realise that he made a mistake. When I told him this two days ago, he said that he has lost all his energy. He loves me but he fears that I will overreact again. So he said that he will go to some place during the weekend and let me know if things are gonna be ok between us on Tuesday (8th April).

know for sure that I have forgiven him completely this time. I know that he made a mistake but he loves me. But I cannot convince him of that because I have broken up so many times before that he feels that I will do the same again.

I love him very dearly and don't want to lose him. Please help. I know I made my share of mistakes but i want to rectify it now. Please help me. I am nobody without him. I have worked on my issues and I accept him completely for what he is. But how do I make him realise that. I need your help and advice.

saffron

[Gilgamesh]

Your mind may have forgiven him, but your heart has been hurt by this, and really never healed completely. I think you should give the relationship a break for a couple months, go through the process of being without him, it will be painful, but if and when you return to him it will be because you love him, and not to relieve the pain of being without him. your heart will be able to love and trust him again.

 

The only problem I see with this suggestion is that he may not be as patient, but you see thats the beauty of it, you see, if he can go those two months solo, and doesnt go screwing around, this will also prove to your heart that you can trust him, and that he really loves you. dont tell him your testing him, just tell him you need time alone for a couple months.

 

This is risky, but you see, I, like him am not truly convinced your really over this, you want him now because the separation hurts and you miss him, but when you get back together your calm again, but then that trust issue rears its ugly head again.

 

I am thinking long term here, if he does give you one more chance, and you blow it again. I dont think there will be any hope of another, and if you stay with him without healing that heart of yours, trust is going to be an issue with you two for some time to come.