Can I get it back

[theirlaw]

Sghort update:

 

Been married since november. Wife left me a week Friday as she said she didn't love me anymore. She said this is because i told her (on the last day of the honeymoon) I had splept with prostitues 8 years before she met me.

 

She has had a still born child 8 years ago and two miscarriages since just before christmas which didn't seem to afect her.

 

The stage now. She wants a divorce and the last time we spoke she blanked me and I did the usual cry, complain, question and tell her she's wrong etc... Bloody wimp ;-).

 

I backed off and hadn't spoke to her since Tuesday. Sent her a mail today saying nothing about nothing. Just this is what I've been up to friendly stuff.

 

She responded and appoloigied for being cold and said she'd call me on sunday night. i will try to keep things friendly and wl not mention "us" again as it obviously get's her defences up.

 

But can I get it back is the question i keep asking my self? Am I doing the right stuff.

 

I feel I've been pushing her away by complaining about her decsion to divorve, at first it was "give me space" the next day it was divorce. I shold have backed off the first day. perhaps if I'm just her friend she can realise that it was not what I told her that caused her to be upset and loose her feelings..

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[Gilgamesh]

The best thing you can do is do what your doing now, nothing about love, marriage or romance, let her think it over, the more you push or make her feel guilty the more she will defend herself.

 

I know, at first my eX was sad, depressed, and felt guilty after she broke up with me, now she is angry, why? because of all the pushing and telling her she was wrong etc. even though Iam 100% right!!.

 

find out what she wants to talk about, let her do the talking, try and not be defensive nor aggresive, if anything, try and get that joint counselling session .

[theirlaw]

Thanks again mate that is exactly what I'm aiming for - just needed to post again after the mail to and from her today. That glimmer of hope ;-)

 

I think this is one of the hardest challenges of my ife knowing how emotionally driven I am. How can I be the friend of the women I love knowing all the time I want to remind her I love her verbally.

 

Perhaps the best advice I'm giving myself and of course it's so obvious is to show the love and meet her needs but in a non verbal way. What ever I say she will not believe so just show it ;-)

 

Sounds so easy but it's such a hard thing to pull off...

 

TL