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Casual sex with no kissing??? Is that weird?!


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Maybe Im the only one here but I have realized over the years (I'm 23) if/when I have casual sex with someone that I don't like enough to be in a relationship with I dont like kissing her. I just feel like sometimes passionate kissing during sex should be saved for a person that you are emotionally attached to/care for/love if that makes any sense. I know it sounds weird; putting the carriage before the horse so to speak; but it happens! Maybe it's a guy thing??!!!

 

Anyhow, I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same way or have had similar experiences??

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Maybe Im the only one here but I have realized over the years (I'm 23) if/when I have casual sex with someone that I don't like enough to be in a relationship with I dont like kissing them. I just feel like sometimes passionate kissing during sex should be saved for a person that you are emotionally attached to/care for/love if that makes any sense. I know it sounds weird; putting the carriage before the horse so to speak; but it happens! Maybe it's a guy thing??!!!

 

Anyhow, I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same way or have had similar experiences??

 

LOL You're the next "Pretty Woman."

 

;] I know you're a guy.

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It is not weird, i actually get the same feeling and whenever i have casual sex, i do try to avoid kissing.

It is probably something psychological that we got from movies or the media that emphesizes the concept of true love kiss and stuff like that, and so now we kind of try to save it for someone special...but its all in our heads pretty much

well just know that you are not alone in this situation =]

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Kissing is very intimate because your faces are close together. There is nothing mysterious about a penis and a vagina...every man has a penis and every woman has a vagina...aside from slight physical differences, they are just pretty much the same in everyone, like an arm or a leg. However, kissing involves the mouth which is part of the face..and it is the face and the brain which makes a person an individual...getting up close and personal with the mouth and face is more intimate because it is the determining factor in what makes people so different...the penis and vagina are just commonplace.

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I think that the real fool, would be the person who is allowing themselves to be used as a "piece of meat."

 

Whooaa there!! I rarely have casual sex and when/if I do it's because the girl initiated or gave me the green light. Plus we already have decided long before hand that we aren't looking for anything more...

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When I've had one night stands in the past (whoa, it's been awhile!), I've avoided kissing because for some reason it's a lot more intimate than the sex itself. It's odd, but just the way I work... some people are into the random kissing, others not so much.

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Whooaa there!! I rarely have casual sex and when/if I do it's because the girl initiated or gave me the green light. Plus we already have decided long before hand that we aren't looking for anything more...

 

That was not meant as a personal judgement. I just don't agree with the fact that someone can have sex without an emotional connection, but to each his own.

 

Just my opinion...

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Kissing is very intimate because your faces are close together. There is nothing mysterious about a penis and a vagina...every man has a penis and every woman has a vagina...aside from slight physical differences, they are just pretty much the same in everyone, like an arm or a leg. However, kissing involves the mouth which is part of the face..and it is the face and the brain which makes a person an individual...getting up close and personal with the mouth and face is more intimate because it is the determining factor in what makes people so different...the penis and vagina are just commonplace.

 

Crazyaboutdogs, lol nice point of view, but i will have to disagree with your logic.

1. Kissing is as intimate as the act of intercourse.

2. There is absolutely nothing mysterious about pennis and a vegina just as much as there is nothing mysterious about the mouth.

Using your logic that mouth is is important since it is on the fact, and the face is close to the brain therefore the mouth makes the difference in individuals, you can also say that genitals are a part of your body, your body contains blood and vesseles that are connected to the brain, thus genitals makes the differences in individual... lol sorry couldnt help but picking on this argument but it is pretty bad

I am glad that you still have this romantic notion of the importance of the mouth and true love kiss, but i think that all of us, indcluding me, got this notion from the media rather.

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I had a FWB relationship one time, and there was very little kissing involved.

 

Unfortunately, I was more emotionally attached than he was. So when it seemed as though he didn't want to kiss me, I felt hurt/rejected. Therefore, I knew the agreement had to stop. You can't have a FWB relationship when feelings and emotions are involved.

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I guess I just don't base my view of life and relationships and intimacy from the movies and mainstream media. If intercourse was so intimate then why is it that people can have one night stands with strangers and visit prostitutes, but kissing them is avoided? For some people intercourse has absolutely no intimate meaning whatsoever, and that is what we are referring to in this thread..those who find no intimacy with getting up close and personal below the waist but at the mouth level it is way too up close and personal for their comfort level. That does not come from the movies, that comes from what the brain and emotions are telling them.

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I guess I just don't base my view of life and relationships and intimacy from the movies and mainstream media. If intercourse was so intimate then why is it that people can have one night stands with strangers and visit prostitutes, but kissing them is avoided? For some people intercourse has absolutely no intimate meaning whatsoever, and that is what we are referring to in this thread..those who find no intimacy with getting up close and personal below the waist but at the mouth level it is way too up close and personal for their comfort level. That does not come from the movies, that comes from what the brain and emotions are telling them.

 

I think I have to agree 100%! Every time I have ever kissed someone during sex or not, it was a completely different feeling emotionally. Either I felt something or I didn't. Maybe it's because with sex the gratification is somewhat more instant. I mean the penis and vagina are much more sensitive/easy to pleasure compared to the lips, therefore if the area (penis/vagina) is being stimulated it takes less thinking/processing of the brain to recognize the release of endorphins.....which could explain why it so easy to have casual sex but not as easy to kiss someone you are not emotionally attached to.......

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  • 10 years later...

It's weird to me. It has happened twice now and so I'm thinking, What has happened in the dating world in the last 20 years?

I am newly single after 20 years of marriage. Kissing was step no. 1. Then fondling. Then foreplay. Then sex. Now sex right away but not kissing because THAT is too intimate? I had my face in your crotch and kissing is off limits?! We are risking unprotected sex but kissing is too risky?!

Now I must admit that both of these ladies in their 30's had abuse in their histories and non-consensual sex in marriage and with exes, so that may come into play. 

"You can take/have my body, but I will never give you my love (kissing)"?

Please give me feedback!

Edited by Darby O
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8 minutes ago, Darby O said:

It's weird to me. It has happened twice now and so I'm thinking, What has happened in the dating world in the last 20 years?

I am newly single after 20 years of marriage. Kissing was step no. 1. Then fondling. Then foreplay. Then sex. Now sex right away but not kissing because THAT is too intimate? I had my face in your crotch and kissing is off limits?! We are risking unprotected sex but kissing is too risky?!

Now I must admit that both of these ladies in their 30's had abuse in their histories and non-consensual sex in marriage and with exes, so that may come into play. 

"You can take/have my body, but I will never give you my love (kissing)"?

Please give me feedback!

Darby O, this thread is ten years old.  If you want feedback to your own question, please start your own thread.  Thanks.

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