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Thekid55's Healing Journal


thekid55
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Ain't nothin to it but to do it Calb. You might surprise yourself. I'm about to jump back in the water myself.

 

i am going to jump back into the water but i want to increase my self worth in confidence, appearance, value. also i want to get my head on staight for a while more.

 

it will come.

 

i want to put myself up there at the top of the dating pool.

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Just turned 22

 

 

hey Kid,when you're that young(22) ,i don't think that you're able to give advice based on experience. the advice you give is based on nothing.

 

when i was your age i also had plenty of girls, and didn't care about relationships.

 

so please stop acting like a big baler and advice SA and Calbee when you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

excitement has nothing to do with experience.

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Actually, I kind of like reading this thread. I have dated professional athletes who think of women less quantitatively. The good thing about this thread is that it actually turns me off men. It reminds me of a book I read called "The Game." The men in the book thought "getting" a girl meant getting her phone number, or getting her to call. Whatever. To each their own.

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hey Kid,when you're that young(22) ,i don't think that you're able to give advice based on experience. the advice you give is based on nothing.

 

when i was your age i also had plenty of girls, and didn't care about relationships.

 

so please stop acting like a big baler and advice SA and Calbee when you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

excitement has nothing to do with experience.

 

If you read through kid's posts and advice.. you will see that it is very similar to advice that some of the "more experienced" (i.e in your idea - "older") individuals have offered. I think kid is more mature way beyond his years, especially when he was in the denial/healing stages of his breakup with his ex.

 

Right now, he is having fun and living like a 22 year old and enjoying himself... maybe now is not the time to copy & follow kid, if it's not for you, but his advice and insight has always been on point... IMHO.

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hey Kid,when you're that young(22) ,i don't think that you're able to give advice based on experience. the advice you give is based on nothing.

 

when i was your age i also had plenty of girls, and didn't care about relationships.

 

so please stop acting like a big baler and advice SA and Calbee when you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

excitement has nothing to do with experience.

 

Hm... gallop I think you generally post good stuff but I think you should re-read the title of this thread. It's not "thekid55's advice column." It's just a place for him to post his thoughts and progress, he's allowed to reply to people's comments.

 

Personally, I think this thread is awesome. It's a great story illustrating that, no matter how down and out you feel, it's definitely possible to get YOU back.

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i don't deny his good advice. i was where he is 8 years ago. the only thing i'm saying is that when i was 22 and now when im 30 my advice is way different.

 

when i was 22,i would think almost like he does(i only cared about p...y),so i will take back my opinions since im being cut off.

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I knew the kid was 22 so I take that into consideration when he gives me advice. I also take into consideration that everyone here is here due to heartbreak so that also influences their opinions. I make up my own mind ultimately but like to know the opinions of others.

 

Also reading this thread reminds me of how I was when I was that age. It was fun but I agree with Gallop that your preferences and priorities change as you age. When I came out of a relationship at 22 though I was the same way.

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hey Kid,when you're that young(22) ,i don't think that you're able to give advice based on experience. the advice you give is based on nothing.

 

when i was your age i also had plenty of girls, and didn't care about relationships.

 

so please stop acting like a big baler and advice SA and Calbee when you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

excitement has nothing to do with experience.

 

Well, that was a bit uncalled for. Just because you chose not to be in relationship during your 'college years' doesn't mean that everyone just ran around having meaningless sex. I've been in relationships since I was basically 17 years old. This is really my first shot at the single scene and in turn, it's helping me through the breakup.

 

People will always want to knock others down when they are feeling good, but I disgress.

 

Even though I'm pretty young, I have more life experience than people who are my age. I've been in my share of LTRs, I've seen people get married, pregnant, family issues, etc. I've seen a lot. I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you or anything, but I have my crap together. You can either take my advice or leave it. I don't really care either way because I know it works.

 

Bottom line, I've had my heart broken. I've also broken other people's hearts. I know now what it takes to get through the pain where a lot of ENAers fall short. A lot of people make the same mistakes (that I made) over and over and over that I try to help with. You won't get different results until you start doing things differently. Until we start realizing that we are the prize, we aren't going anywhere. And no, I just don't care about p.....y. I'm having fun yes, but I want more in time.

 

I love ENA, but I'm spending less and less time on here, which shows that I'm just moving on.

 

Finally, no one is forcing you to read this. I've come a long way over a short three month period and I hope you can get through it too, gallop.

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Oh and PS-

 

A lotta people are gonna hate. It's just part of the process. Especially on this site when people just bring a lotta negativity to the plate.

 

Would you rather see me sit at home and cry and write a million ENA posts about my ex? OR would you rather see me run around with different girls, be single, and have fun while getting myself back?

 

The girls know my boundaries and what I'm looking for. It's not like 'We are going to date!' Nah, never that.

 

People will relish in seeing me 'get played' but I can't even be worried about that. As long as I'm out there having fun and keeping me as the #1 priority, I can't even be mad.

 

I'm bringing a new perspective to this site. How many other posters do you see who have the same mentality that I have? I went through the trials and tribulations of a breakup but I manned up and got through that.

 

At the end of the day, you just gotta do you.

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Kid,i'm very very happy for you,and for sure i'm not hating on anybody. you seem to be very positive and i'm glad that you're enjoying the young days it's wonderful to see that

 

it's your healing journal,and i shouldn't have posted here.

 

It's totally alright. I want people to post. I'm just trying to give everyone hope that there is light at the end of the 'breakup' tunnel.

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Hey Kid,

I sent you a PM earlier. I wanted to publicly and sincerely apologize for our "exchange" yesterday on another thread. I just read through all 25 pages of this post and have much respect for you and what you have endured. The "Kid" that I encountered on that thread did not seem the like same person I was reading in the first 23 pages of this one. Somewhere around page 22-23 you shifted, and I completely get that. I should have taken more time to understand where you were in your journey before judging. I do appreciate the advice you have shared throughout this post. It has been helpful to read, and I do think much of your earlier advice was very good regarless of your relative age.

 

All the best you, keep being you and sharing...you got this and I am rooting for you.

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Hey Kid,

I sent you a PM earlier. I wanted to publicly and sincerely apologize for our "exchange" yesterday on another thread. I just read through all 25 pages of this post and have much respect for you and what you have endured. The "Kid" that I encountered on that thread did not seem the like same person I was reading in the first 23 pages of this one. Somewhere around page 22-23 you shifted, and I completely get that. I should have taken more time to understand where you were in your journey before judging. I do appreciate the advice you have shared throughout this post. It has been helpful to read, and I do think much of your earlier advice was very good regarless of your relative age.

 

All the best you, keep being you and sharing...you got this and I am rooting for you.

 

thanks snippot. I got your message. I appreciate it. I'm not trying to come off as a jerk or anything. I guess I'm a little too sensitive about my feelings right now since I basically put myself through the grinder, post breakup. I'm feeling so good and so confident that I refuse to let anyone ruin it. I did act like a jerk and I can man up and say that I was wrong too.

 

Kind of ironic, but I'll say this here. I went to the gym around 630pm last night. Had an intense workout. This girl wouldn't stop texting me, asking me to hang out. I agreed to hang out at 8pm. When I got to her place, I was still dehydrated and well, not totally able to 'perform' fully. We had a good time for about 30 minutes or so before I 'came up short'. She hadda go meet up with a friend and I went out with my friends, so karma definitely got me last night. Whenever I get too arrogant, I am always humbled. Always happens to me. So in a way, snippot, you got me good last night. Haha. Revenge is sweet. Lol.

 

But yeah, you can see a huge shift in my attitude and demeaner. I was in a really dark place only two, three months ago. I feel good now and I'm ready for whatever life throws my way.

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Hey Kid, sorry things came up short last night. If it was Karma, consider it all cleared up now....and a fresh start. I will spare you the details of my evening as to not rub it in more...j/k

 

Just reading the thread, it did seem that your attitude shifted right about the time you got some pretty sucky news re: the ex. Honestly, I cant blame you for how you reacted. Not sure if you posted about how you got such in depth details of her activity with him, but yeah....that stinks.

 

Heres to a good weekend, and not coming up short.

Snip

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Just reading the thread, it did seem that your attitude shifted right about the time you got some pretty sucky news re: the ex. Honestly, I cant blame you for how you reacted. Not sure if you posted about how you got such in depth details of her activity with him, but yeah....that stinks.

 

She was openly telling a mutual friend. Almost like bragging. But that's in the past. If she thinks he'll change, then she's sadly mistaken.

 

Anyway, this is my journal. Done with her garbage.

 

 

Heres to a good weekend, and not coming up short.

 

Thanks my friend. You too.

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I think one of my biggest issues (that I'm working on now) is realizing who I am outside of a relationship. Now, I know I'm student, athlete, son, good friends, blah blah blah. I can wear a lotta hats like everyone else does. But the single me is still a bit unknown.

 

Just a little background- I've basically been in LTRs since I was a freshman in high school (Yes, I was 15). So over the last seven years, I've been in three LTRs. All spanning between 1.5 and 2.5 years. In between these relationships, I had my share of flings, hookups, etc. With some of the flings, I wanted more and it didn't work out. I never really took the time to sit back and say, 'Hm, Who is the single me?'

 

I've never had an issue with being alone. My group of friends has always been massive and my family has always been attentive in my life.

 

Some common trends- All three girls that I had LTRs with were all very needy. I've always felt like I have a lot to give, so I tend to smother these girls in love, attention, support, etc. I realize that by me doing this, they really can't move closer to me. I've basically carried the relationship to a point where it has run its course. Call it codependant or whatever you want, but this type of girl can't be in my life anymore.

 

So basically, I need to learn who the heck the Single thekid is. Right now, I'm just being a player. I'll admit it. No shame at all. I'm having fun and everyone knows my boundaries. Before I get into my next LTR (which won't be for a very long time), I have to make sure that I am who I want to be.

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