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There is a certain subsection of the population that will never find a partner


LightbulbSun

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I think some of you are really quite shallow. You suggest 'aiming lower' and 'try going out with less attractive/average people' but since when did somebody with looks automatically mean they're better than sb average with intelligence, personality and success? You guys want people to stop judging you, but aren't you being pretty superficial and judgy yourselves? Really 'pot meet kettle' don't ya think?

 

Objectively speaking, I'm quite easy on the eye... But if I were unattractive or very average, I definitely would not be happy if sb simply got with me cos they needed to 'dabble' and for 'experience and an ego boost.' It's pretty offending actually.

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I'm willing to bet, with sb like the OP, if sb cool but relatively average were to be interested in him, he wouldn't give her the time of day simply cos of her looks. Yet, here he is complaining about how people don't give him a chance. It's a huge double standard and I find it actually quite funny.

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I think some of you are really quite shallow. You suggest 'aiming lower' and 'try going out with less attractive/average people' but since when did somebody with looks automatically mean they're better than sb average with intelligence, personality and success? You guys want people to stop judging you, but aren't you being pretty superficial and judgy yourselves? Really 'pot meet kettle' don't ya think?

 

Objectively speaking, I'm quite easy on the eye... But if I were unattractive or very average, I definitely would not be happy if sb simply got with me cos they needed to 'dabble' and for 'experience and an ego boost.' It's pretty offending actually.

No one is suggesting the OP, who's no longer involved in ENA, "settle."

Anyone should be able to date anyone they want.

Not suggestin' someone "dabble" with someone else and use the dating experience merely for an "ego boost."

Even so, most older women may be flattered to see a younger guy show interest.

 

That "plain" or "average"-looking girl that many overlook... she might say yes to a guy's dating invitation and ultimately prove a better relationship than the so-called "hot" women.

 

The first girl I seriously dated in HS, most would call her "plain."

Her looks weren't terribly important to me.

 

Targeted her for several reasons:

Wanted to date (others were dating in HS, felt I should too), she looked fine and didn't want rejection.

Of course, she could have said no, but didn't and we enjoyed a long-term relationship.

Dating is to discover what you want (and don't want).

most older women may be flattered to see a younger guy show interest.

That was a deliberate "strategy" of mine in my late 20s.

Frustrated by the ambivalence of young 20-something women I dated @25-26, decided to go for the gals 1-6 yrs. older than me. As they were getting into their 30s, figured they'd be more serious about wanting a relationship, which is what I wanted.

My hunches proved true and I enjoyed more relationships. From then on, every woman I dated was a few years older.

 

If guys in their late 20s like the OP have never even gone out on a date, it's best they realistically consider the type of women they could be successful with:

.......the shy and not-the-most-popular women just might be more willing to say yes to a dating invitation.

 

Where guys like the OP take it from there, that's up to them.

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I feel that I could fall into this subsection of the population. Having no one in your life does not do well for you self-esteem. You tend to do nothing with parts of your life, that you wish you did more of. Still getting out of this frame of mind in hopes you will find someone, feels impossible right now. Yet I think I will be happy, even if I am trying, and failing. Because I know that at least I tried at the end of the road...

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Actually the whole 'settling' thing was implied a few times in this thread. I just can't be bothered reading through it again to find the quotes lol.

I wouldn't have posted about the shallowness if I wasn't annoyed about it. I know guys are more shallow and looks orientated, but it's just offending either way.

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