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There is a certain subsection of the population that will never find a partner


LightbulbSun

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Just keep at it newwave

I'm pulling for you!

 

Thanks. I will find the guy I want or the one I want will return. I think too many people are negative saying we won't find what we want but if you look hard enough you can. I had a friend who was looking for a virgin. I told him at 33 this wasn't likely. He showed me because he found one.

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I reckon I'm out. The dating game sucks, I want to play Hungry, Hungry Hippo.

 

There was only one man for me, and he found better things. I don't think I will ever find anything ever again for me. Just gotta be happy single

 

Hey newwave - you want to go on vacation somewhere?

 

Can I tag along? I'm 37, never married, no kids, and I'm awesome!

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Thanks. I will find the guy I want or the one I want will return. I think too many people are negative saying we won't find what we want but if you look hard enough you can. I had a friend who was looking for a virgin. I told him at 33 this wasn't likely. He showed me because he found one.

 

You'll find many Virgins out there even in your age group Newwave.

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It's never easy to find anyone so I'm fine with it. I wouldn't say I'm creating the situation because it's something I can't budge on. I can't consider a guy who's divorced with kids and this won't change.

 

We all have our dealbreakers, that is yours. And that is fine. I won't date younger men, that is my dealbreaker that I get railed on for. I feel like I have a better chance at marriage with a man who is older than me.

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We all have our dealbreakers, that is yours. And that is fine. I won't date younger men, that is my dealbreaker that I get railed on for. I feel like I have a better chance at marriage with a man who is older than me.

 

People attack you for that? I used to not want a younger guy until I started to meet younger men who wanted to go out with me. Now I'd be open to a slightly younger man who wanted to marry. I think for me it's because if I go slightly younger (say 32-35 or so) the amount of never married guys skyrockets. Sure many wouldn't date me because I'm older, but some guys don't care.

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Probably. I once met a guy who was 50 and a virgin. I don't care about that especially but wouldn't be bothered either.

 

Probably is the understatment....

 

I women don't have the same problems as men do dating. I don't hear many girls in their late 30's and beyond coming here stating they have never been kissed and such. If they do normally they are super shy.

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Oh I definitely know some women who are that way...no dating, no kissing, no sex, etc. In their 30s and beyond...my neighbor is that way. She is 60 years old and hasn't done anything. But you know what, she's happy and that's what matters.

 

Most of these women that I know though are often this way by choice. Not all the time, but many of them are. It sounds like they had the opportunity (perhaps still do) and they just don't want to take it. As long as they are happy, then I am happy for them.

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Oh I definitely know some women who are that way...no dating, no kissing, no sex, etc. In their 30s and beyond...my neighbor is that way. She is 60 years old and hasn't done anything. But you know what, she's happy and that's what matters.

 

Most of these women that I know though are often this way by choice. Not all the time, but many of them are. It sounds like they had the opportunity (perhaps still do) and they just don't want to take it. As long as they are happy, then I am happy for them.

 

Thats the difference maker. Some girls have that option. Men we really don't. We are lucky to get a date even if its with someone we don't desire or doesn't quite meet our critiera.

 

If a guy has gone through life without doing anything chances are its because no girl out there wanted to be with him.

 

Now if a woman did the samething its because she decided to not have sex, kiss or whatever. But I can tell you if a girl suffered from that same issue she would have far greater success than a man would. Even if she's used at the end of the day. Men won't get an oppertunity like that unless they pay.

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Thats the difference maker. Some girls have that option. Men we really don't. We are lucky to get a date even if its with someone we don't desire or doesn't quite meet our critiera.

 

If a guy has gone through life without doing anything chances are its because no girl out there wanted to be with him.

 

Now if a woman did the samething its because she decided to not have sex, kiss or whatever. But I can tell you if a girl suffered from that same issue she would have far greater success than a man would. Even if she's used at the end of the day. Men won't get an oppertunity like that unless they pay.

 

Too true. The situation is different depending on whether your Male or Female. The lack of experience for Men is often detrimental to their chances of getting a date...or so I've been led to believe.

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Thats the difference maker. Some girls have that option. Men we really don't. We are lucky to get a date even if its with someone we don't desire or doesn't quite meet our critiera.

 

If a guy has gone through life without doing anything chances are its because no girl out there wanted to be with him.

 

Now if a woman did the samething its because she decided to not have sex, kiss or whatever. But I can tell you if a girl suffered from that same issue she would have far greater success than a man would. Even if she's used at the end of the day. Men won't get an oppertunity like that unless they pay.

I don't agree with that ''if a guy has gone through life without doing anything chances are it's because no girl out there wanted to be with him''...Maybe he isn't going after them or he is socially isolated..Women have it easier because men are expected to approach them ..If a man is attractive but has extreme social anxiety and thus avoids putting himself out there then how is it going to happen for him??.Most men who complain about a lack of a dating life are not doing the things that other successful men are doing[i realize that with many the social anxiety gets in the way] yet they lay blame on things like ''oh I am not good looking'' or 'women always go for jerks''..

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Too true. The situation is different depending on whether your Male or Female. The lack of experience for Men is often detrimental to their chances of getting a date...or so I've been led to believe.

The lack of experience is detrimental because usually the guy hasn't developped the social skills or confidence to take the risk and ask a women out ..If a man is attractive ,nice and polite what has his lack of experience got to do with why some random woman is going to turn him down?? I know if I find a given women attractive ,nice ,polite ,etc ..I don't particularly care what her dating past experiences have been I am only concerned with right now.

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It's like this see. There are so many different dynamics that play into finding yourself into a relationship that it's why there is a certain subsection of the population that will never find a partner. Case and point, money and sex drive society. In a rather crude way of putting it, let's face it, either we make money or life forces us to. Think of money also as currency or perceived valuable exchange. Women are designed to give birth to babies and for intentionally lesser understood reasons men fixate themselves on the very act of procreation even if not to procreate conceptionally.

 

That's on the primal level, but obviously people are more complex than that and not everyone behave the same way.

 

Here's food for thought, Humans work in packs. The ones who are the lone wolf seem to be on the outskirts of society even if as in inclusion. So is it any surprise that you should see in encounters that perception makes up a good chunk of the acceptance of another.

 

We all would be living in an ideal and just society if everyone just got along, people didn't hurt each other and love was like a fairytale. Of course there's more to it, but let's face it after everything is said and done that subsection of the population that will never find a partner can be viewed at and seen that they lack or don't handle the primal side and complex emotional, higher thought side of life that build up society. Which brings us back to why money can be traded for sex, why some are left alone and why others are seen further in their lives than oneself. It's by no surprise a certain subsection of the population will never find a partner.

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I don't agree with that ''if a guy has gone through life without doing anything chances are it's because no girl out there wanted to be with him''...Maybe he isn't going after them or he is socially isolated..Women have it easier because men are expected to approach them ..If a man is attractive but has extreme social anxiety and thus avoids putting himself out there then how is it going to happen for him??.Most men who complain about a lack of a dating life are not doing the things that other successful men are doing[i realize that with many the social anxiety gets in the way] yet they lay blame on things like ''oh I am not good looking'' or 'women always go for jerks''..

 

Men have to ask for dates typically a woman waits until shes asked. If all the girls tell him no theres not much he can do. Women have the option to still get attention although it might not be the greatest idea but the point is they can.

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The lack of experience is detrimental because usually the guy hasn't developped the social skills or confidence to take the risk and ask a women out

 

I agree, but there's usually a reason as to why those skills never developed, which is what most people don't take the time to try and understand. Also, perhaps the reason why he has a lack of experience is because women turn the guy down all the time? That can't help self-esteem.

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I agree, but there's usually a reason as to why those skills never developed, which is what most people don't take the time to try and understand. Also, perhaps the reason why he has a lack of experience is because women turn the guy down all the time? That can't help self-esteem.

I don't think the majority of shy guys are asking women out ,so they don't develop the social skills ,not because they are getting rejected again and again ..

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I don't think the majority of shy guys are asking women out ,so they don't develop the social skills ,not because they are getting rejected again and again ..

 

I agree.

 

I haven't asked a girl out since I was 19. That's almost 10 years ago.

 

Honestly, I'm scared to ask a girl out, because I'm pretty sure I'll be rejected. If I can't even make a female friend, how am I supposed to date one?

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I don't think the majority of shy guys are asking women out ,so they don't develop the social skills ,not because they are getting rejected again and again ..

 

I agree with you completely, but surely you also agree when I say that there are normal men/women, who have no issues with talking to the opposite sex or asking them out, who get constantly rejected. This in turn damages their self-esteem, confidence, and then they become worse off than before when they were "fine".

 

Also, like I said, there's often reasons as to why an individual is shy, but a lot of people don't take the time to give them a chance, understand what they've been through/going through and/or try and help them.

 

I haven't asked a girl out since I was 19. That's almost 10 years ago.

 

Honestly, I'm scared to ask a girl out, because I'm pretty sure I'll be rejected. If I can't even make a female friend, how am I supposed to date one?

 

The last time I asked out a girl I got rejected. I was disappointed but it honestly didn't hurt that much. A stupid high-school crush that even I understood at the time probably wouldn't have amounted to anything. Ever since then, as if I had some curse placed on me that day, every girl I've met has shown some form of interest, then completely abandoned me in favour of someone else or just randomly ever since. Bad luck? A problem with me? No idea.

 

Lightbulb, I think it's the difficulty to make female friends that's the issue. Same as me really. Once you can do that, then you'll have no problem. I can see you're a nice bloke who's determined to do what it takes.

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I would agree, because that's how my life is too. I was never taught to socialise really, never taught how to talk to girls. Infact my parents perpetuated the childish "ewww girls" thing for so long it probably planted the seeds for thinking them as very different people. And because of thee controlled social life I didn't learn the girl-social lessons from my school friends. The females I do know are pretty much all acquaintances, except family and the girlfriend (who I did NOT meet via an activity group, work, or cold).

 

The shock factor that comes with all this is seeing that it's supposed to be a skill everyone has, and doesn't need to learn. Anyone who finally cracks it and pours their heart out saying their dateless, is first thought to be a weirdo, hermit, or someone with too high standards.

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I don't mean to nit pick but evolution doesn't have a "purpose of advancement". It is advancement. And pairbonding does not exist only that offspring can survive into maturity - it's the other way around. Offspring survives to maturity because we have pair bonding - and thus the offspring carries the genetic traits of people who enjoy pair bonding.

 

So to say that romantic love is a fiction is an error.

 

I stand corrected

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I would agree, because that's how my life is too. I was never taught to socialise really, never taught how to talk to girls. Infact my parents perpetuated the childish "ewww girls" thing for so long it probably planted the seeds for thinking them as very different people. And because of thee controlled social life I didn't learn the girl-social lessons from my school friends. The females I do know are pretty much all acquaintances, except family and the girlfriend (who I did NOT meet via an activity group, work, or cold).

 

The shock factor that comes with all this is seeing that it's supposed to be a skill everyone has, and doesn't need to learn. Anyone who finally cracks it and pours their heart out saying their dateless, is first thought to be a weirdo, hermit, or someone with too high standards.

 

I don't think I saw girls as sexual beings in high school. I was a very confused teenager; I looked at porn, but I was ashamed of it, and I thought that "normal" girls didn't like sex, and valued it less than love.

 

I only found out later that everyone and their dog was having sex in high school, except for me.

 

Now I want sex, and value it higher than love, but I've done things a little bit backwards. Now everyone is wanting to start relationships, and aren't looking for random hookups at my age. Whereas, I'm thinking with a teenage mentality, and therefore am not on the same page with the mature woman.

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I don't think I saw girls as sexual beings in high school. I was a very confused teenager; I looked at porn, but I was ashamed of it, and I thought that "normal" girls didn't like sex, and valued it less than love.

 

I only found out later that everyone and their dog was having sex in high school, except for me.

 

Now I want sex, and value it higher than love, but I've done things a little bit backwards. Now everyone is wanting to start relationships, and aren't looking for random hookups at my age. Whereas, I'm thinking with a teenage mentality, and therefore am not on the same page with the mature woman.

I think a significant amount of mature women are likely looking for sex,perhaps even more so than when they were young.You seem to come up with a million reasons why it can't happen for you ,why not start searching for that one reason that tells you it can happen for you .

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