Paying for your child's education...

[newwave]

Oh and speaking of community colleges, many of the smartest kids attended community college for a year or two because they often gave scholarships. I attended a community college and had a full ride the entire time I was there. No loans at all. They also had honor societies.

[arcadefire]

My parents fully supported me and my brother through college. I believe when it comes to education and children, parents should treat it as an investment much like buying a house or car. They are investing in their greatest and most loved asset (children), who in the long run should make more money than their parents are making now. Brand, company recruiting, professors, classmates, network - these things all matter in a college, which makes some degrees worth more than others. I also obtained a few scholarships here and there. I am completely grateful for my parents when it comes to my education, and they don't want me to pay them back, but I want to when they're older and if they need me I'll always be there for them.

[civilservant]

Im glad that our children are going to grow up in the UK, where none of this reall applies. If you want to attend University then you are entitled to a loan for the full fees, and grants for the cost of living expenses. Obviously you have to pay the loan back, but since it's linked to inflation it's the cheapest money you'll ever be able to borrow.

 

I learnt the value of money because my parents couldnt afford nice things. I was working after school at age 14 to buy myself a cell phone and have money to go to the cinema with etc, it never did me any harm, my schooling didnt suffer, and as I result I knew that this cost my time. Thats just what I want for my children. Life isn't free, and the sooner they get to know that the better. Now don't get me wrong, of course we can help towards University than we will, but I don't see it as my duty to do so. By the time they make that decision at age 18 they are adults, and as such make the decision to shoulder the burden of a debt with their eyes wide open. I didn't go to university, and yet make a good salary and are in a "job for life" if I want it.

 

To call me 'selfish' because I don't want to pay for my childs education is just plain wrong. It's because I don't want THEM to be selfish that I won't pay for it.

[Firiel]

I would love to be able to help my future children pay for their college educations, and I plan to help them as much as possible. However, I don't think it's my duty to pay for their whole education. I hope that each of my kids would have the opportunity to go to college loan-free (or rather, excessive loan-free). Whether or not they decide to take that opportunity would be their decision. For instance, if I become a college professor, my children would likely be given free tuition to the college I teach at. If they choose to go to another college, I will support them and help them out financially if possible, but I wouldn't feel the responsibility to fully fund their endeavors. Schools offer scholarships for sports, academics, music, plenty of things. I plan to discuss these options with my children when they are HS age and encourage them to continue to strive to do well in their studies/athletics/whatever they do. If they work in the summers, go to a community college to begin with, and work hard in their academics/extracurricular activities, they would have minimal debt even if I wasn't able to fork out a cent (and I do plan on helping as much as possible). The local state college costs $7,000 per year. Assuming a child can make $3,000 in the summer (I would foot living expenses if my kids desired it), $1,000 towards school working part time during the school year, and got even just $1,000 of scholarships, they would only have to take out $2,000 of loans a year for a total of $8,000. That's without ANY financial parental help. A parent being unable to help a child pay for college does not automatically equal a huge, insurmountable mountain of debt after four years.

 

Because of my parents, I was able to graduate from a private college with under $10,000 in debt (though my parents didn't foot the whole bill... I also had some hefty scholarships). There is no way that I would resent them for not covering that last bit. I've got classmates with $100,000 to pay off. My husband and I are paying for his college. He chose an inexpensive school, he works two jobs, and he has multiple scholarships. Yes, it's hard work but he won't have a ridiculous amount of loans either. He is choosing to get a degree, and because it is his choice, he is paying for it. Sure, it'd be nice if his parents could help out, but I'm pretty glad his parents didn't think, "Hmm... we won't be able to send a kid to college, so let's not have one."

[Batya33]

"I agree, I think it's important to assess whether or not a child should be going--especially if you are paying for it. If I had a child that didn't have a good GPA, I would try to figure out why it's low--is it that he doesn't care about school, doesn't feel challenged/bored, a hard time learning, doesn't see the need, etc. Depending on the reasons would really factor into whether or not I'd feel comfortable financing their college education. Still, I would talk with them before HS, during HS, and their senior year to see what plans and dreams they have for themselves. If they have a 2.0 GPA in HS and want to go to college, I would be skeptical of paying for an expensive education--and I might even ask them to do a CC for a year, just to get themselves together. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to just take into account how they did in HS when it came to whether or not they should go to college--but merely what sort of college environment would be better for them. I know for me, I didn't do as well in HS, as I did in college, because I went to a very large school(actually it was featured on Oprah) and there were a lot of outside distractions that I was going through that effected my grades and learning in HS. If my parents would have looked at my grades and said "no college" that would have detoured me from where I'm at now."

 

For me whether a child should be going to college would have nothing to do with who was paying for it - it might be tempting to think that way but I plan to force myself not to because to factor that in with any significance would be inconsistent with my values about education. Now if the child wanted to go to an expensive college than my ability to pay would be a factor-but not whether to go to college in the first place.

That's interesting how you have all of those specific plans -when I was your age I was far more specific about how the script/plans would go - whether the script was making friends in grad school in the future, how a date would go, how I would teach the fifth grade, and how I would talk to my children about difficult topics. But years of life experience later, I now know that while it's important to plan it's more important not to get too narrowly focused or rigid about planning-- because then you miss out on the richness of life and often get needlessly frustrated when things don't go according to a very specific plan. To me that's similar to your frustration in this thread about who stayed on point and off point -in my opinion, the interpretations that broadened the discussion made it more interesting and perhaps if you weren't focused on people staying "on point" as you put it -when your "point" may or may not have been clearly communicated in the first place- you may have found yourself more interested and perhaps enlightened by what people wrote.

 

Sure, some young adults would love to talk about whether they're bored in school, whether they are having trouble with a particular teacher, etc and for others I'm just as sure that anything that looked like a "talk" would turn them off and distance them. I tried to encourage a family member to do embrace learning, do better in school - using your method and for this child, not only did it not work, she became enraged because I bought her younger sister a favorite book of mine as a child - Tree Grows in Brooklyn -she was enraged because even though it was a gift for her sister she assumed I was trying to pressure her to read it. A bizarre reaction but now, over ten years later, it just seems like one of those things -you never really know how a child will react to an adult trying to find out what's going on at school. I too will have ideas about how to approach the college subject but unlike you will be far more focused on how the child communicates best and ready for bizarre or surprising reactions. I'd especially be ready not to take to heart what a teenager says about his plans/dreams before/during/after high school -not because the child might be lying but because often teenagers say what they think adults want to hear in order to end the conversation (even if they love their parents), have changes of heart weekly, daily, etc. and experience so much during those years that the sophomore year plan might have no resemblance to the junior year plan, etc. And I'm going to try to keep my ego out of it as in "but I thought we were so close and I'm such a good communicator". Challenges I am not yet ready for but I have a couple of years....

[lostnscared]

For me, a child going to college also has little to do with who's paying for it as well. There are many factors that would contribute to whether or not child goes to college, but my point was that if my child wasn't doing well in HS to the point where he/she had a low GPA then I would try to get to the root cause(if possible) and also assess whether or not I felt comfortable paying for an "expensive college". Those were my words. Not that they would not go to college, or that me paying would necessarily be a factor in if they go to college AT ALL, but that HOW they did in HS certainly would be a factor in my "comfort level" in financing an expensive education knowing that they may not be ready for school. I also stated that, however, I would NOT want to stop them from going to college or "detour" them since I realize that I, myself also struggled in HS and thankfully my parents still sent me to college--I would want the same for my child. Please reread. Essentially we both agree that "paying" is not a factor in whether a child goes to college in itself. But for MYSELF paying is a factor in whether or not my child goes to a "certain" college if they did not do as well or struggled in HS.

 

In terms of my rigid thinking. You've said this in a variety of other threads pertaining to child-rearing. As I told you before, me and you are certainly different people. My specific plans will probably change, but for the sake of this thread YES I am stating what I THINK I would do(as most people ARE--correct?). What I would do, COULD and MAY be different. It is fine for ME to state what I would do in certain circumstances based on where I'm at now. You can call it rigid or disagree or tell me to "lighten up" but just as you found out with that child you gave the book to--and it did not work or help--I am going to continue to state what I BELIEVE I will do even if you believe it is rigid. So in other words, I'm not going to "lighten" up or stop being rigid(in your words) for the sake of this thread.

 

And in terms of the discussion, I disagree with you. I found a lot of comments in here and in other threads pertaining to child-rearing very enlightening. And I am learning a lot(the whole point of starting this thread), but I don't feel as though the points that one poster began to bring into the conversation(overpopulation, welfare children, whether it's selfish to have 3 or 4 kids and sacrifice paying for tuition, etc) were relevant to the crux of my initial post. Moreso those points were already THOROUGHLY discussed in another thread I started which I believe had 233 comments ALL about the very points that Hike contributed to the conversation. To be frank, I was very enlightened by those comments in THAT thread--but in this thread I don't feel as though those discussions will merit anything but people being called "selfish" and being told they are overpopulating the world, etc which I find to be taking away from this thread more than adding to this thread. So far most people were able to contribute their points and preferences in the context of the thread and in doing so in a respectful manner without calling any group of people selfish or any sort of "labeling".

 

Ironically the TIMES when the word "selfish" was thrown out(which did offend people) it was when the discussion about the # of children was brought up in connection with THAT being the sole reason that person wasn't paying for tuition--being that this was the case, I felt it was time to take the thread back to what it was intended to be about, because whether my point was clear or not(again most grasped it because most did not go "there") I felt as if it was a good time to make it clear that I wanted the post to stay with my initial post question, to avoid arguments and labeling that would soon either result in a thread being closed or 233 comments about the SAME things already discussed in another thread.

 

But if that is enlightening topic to you then like I said before why not start a thread about it?

 

In terms of what I said I would do for a child that was struggling in HS, I stand by that. Things could change once I have a teenager--just as I'm sure once your son becomes a teenager you might change about what you would do in that circumstance. But I think that your approach is good one as well as long as it works for you.

[lostnscared]

It's not the same in Illinois. The community colleges have set ups with various colleges and they tell you what classes transfer and for what. Community colleges are very much like several regular colleges I attended. You just have to make sure your classes transfer.

 

Yep, in Illinois(the Chicagoland area) it is fairly popular to go to a CC first than transfer to a regular 4 year state school. The community colleges here are very excellent, and have no issue transferring credits. They actually give you a list of what courses will and will not transfer once you start CC so that has not been an issue. For some children, I do think that it is a "good" idea-because as much as it is like HS, it does at least give the child a chance to grow a little more before going to regular 4 year school. Also in term of the intensity in the work, well at the CC's here, my friends have not had a hard time transitioning from CC homework and tests to university homework and tests--but I'm sure it was a transition. Sometimes I think certain students need more time before they go to college. I had a friend who to this day, we ALL believe she probably needed to do CC first before going a 4 year university. She graduated university barely hitting a 2.0 and was on academic probation most of her college years, immature, etc, etc. Even her mom realized(upon the daughter graduating) that her daughter had not been ready for university yet. Not to say that CC would have been right for her but clearly that school was not and she was not ready to be at a 4 year school.

[lostnscared]

I agree with you. I think most people agree that if a child chose a local state school or even a relatively inexpensive university than most of us wouldn't have much issue paying for most--if not all--of their tuition. But it's the notion that we should finance and pay for whatever school our child goes to that I think would be an issue, if for whatever reason you can't afford to or if the child chooses a very expensive college. Out here the local state universities are typically ranging from $8k a year to about $10k a year. Of course that doesn't take into account dorming, books, and "extras"- but paying for that for four years is affordable and in that case of course I would not mind paying for MOST if not all of the tuition. But if my child chose a university that was 25k a year, than yes I would have to draw a line somewhere and this would require the child taking out a loan.

[prettymommy]

Great thread; so many interesting prespectives.

 

I think the big take away from this thread is that while it is good to plan for your children's education, if that is what you value, do so within your means, and keep in mind a the one trait that is a parent's biggest asset- flexibility.

 

No one knows how life will turn out. You can be well-off with several children, than lose all your assets along the way. Does that then make you a bad parent for not being able to finance your child's education? Even the best laid plans to pay for all of your child's education can back-fire due to the economy. I saw first hand back in the 90's several of my peer's parents lose half their children's college account balances due to a tanking economy. They had good intents, but circumstances beyond their means influenced their ability to pay for their children's education. Does that then make them a bad parent? Does it mean the child is now without the means to attend college if they really want to do so? I think we all know the answer is no. It may mean plans need to be altered a bit (CC and then state univeristy instead of a private university), or the child may need to take on some debt or work throughout college to pay for tuition and living expenses, but a college education can still be achieved if one wants it.

 

It's great some parents want to pay for all their child's education, and no one should judge them rightly or wrongly for it. Just as I value teaching my child the value of earning his education through financing part of himself, and learning how to deal with his finances that way. That is my value system tied to how I was raised, which I felt taught me some very important life lessons that I want to pass on to my son now, and no one should judge me rightly or wrongly for it either. I think it's very difficult to pass judgement on how or why some parents pay for their children's educations, and other's don't, b/c none of us really know the circumstances or value system driving those decisions. It's hard enough to be a parent; it's even worse when we attempt to pass judgement on each other on such a divisive topic as the value of a college eduaction and a parent's role in paying for it, a subject that has many different and fair view points.

 

Great thread Lost, and though I agree that some of the earlier comments got a little judgemental, its been an eye opening read on other presepectives when it comes to financing a child's education, and where lines are drawn on that and other things..

[lostnscared]

I agree with the bolded. I too am really enlightened by what some people have said. My eyes have been opened by a lot of the comments regarding how people were raised, what they value regarding education, and how funds should be allocated when it comes to education. Never in my 23 years of living would I have ever even considered this a "criteria" when I thought about having kids, but now after reading many comments and seeing what others have done, it certainly is on my "list" of possible things that I should consider before I take that plunge. Even with the comments I disagreed with, I admired their conviction and stance regarding education, and their own selflessness in making sure their child was provided with education(even if it meant sacrificing certain things). I also loved hearing some people state that emotional luxuries, and supporting a child emotionally WHILE the child gets prepared to go to college is more important than allocating money toward college. It's just been a very good conversation.

 

Your third paragraph, prettymommy, is on point. And I agree wholeheartedly.

 

And yes the thread got judgmental toward the end(and that was unfortunate & one of the reasons I tried to turn the thread around) but I also think that in a way the thread getting "judgmental" opened my eyes to how many parents get judged just solely by being parents(just like you said) and how many people believe their values or opinions have more merit (whether it's because they are older, have kids themselves, or feel they have a "better" value system). I think that transcends even outside of parenting, and just really speaks volumes about us as human beings(but that is for another topic). Anyway, thankfully everyone contributed to this thread in a meaningful way(even some of the more negative comments) and it's been very interesting to say the least.

[karvala]

Im glad that our children are going to grow up in the UK, where none of this reall applies. If you want to attend University then you are entitled to a loan for the full fees, and grants for the cost of living expenses. Obviously you have to pay the loan back, but since it's linked to inflation it's the cheapest money you'll ever be able to borrow.

 

Not anymore; it's going to be all loans from hereon, I'm afraid. Combine that with increased tuition fees, and the average student debt after a 3-year degree, currently around £25,000, is likely to be rise to something closer to £40,000 (=$63,000 at current exchange rates) once all the new changes have been implemented. Bear in mind that this isn't just the maximum, this will be the norm, and it will be very hard to do it much cheaper than this, since the UK doesn't have subsidised tuition at own-state universities or community colleges or 2-year Associate's degrees to fall back on. It's no longer the cheap place to educate yourself that it once was.

[prettymommy]

Thanks Lost.

 

While I agree that it's good to start thinking about how you might possibly pay for a child's education before you have a child, and to save for your child's education if you can, again, that shouldn't be the one criteria to base the decision to have a child on IMHO. I was just out of college and making 26K/yr when I found out I was pregnant with my son. If I had based my decision on whether or not I could pay for his education at that point in my life, I shouldn't of had him. But again.... none of us know how life is going to turn out for ourselves or our children, and financial circumstances can change. 9 years later now I make 4 times the salary I did when I was pregnant, which I never would have thought would've been possible 9 years ago, and though I was not able to save money for my son's education for the first few years of his life, I am able to do so now. If circumstances change and I have to stop making payments into his 529 account, I am fine with that as well. It will not make or break his college education- only my son can do that. But again, the key is flexibility- knowing that helping to finance a college education is often a necssesities these days when it comes to your children, and weighing that against your ability to do so- now, or possibly in the future.

 

It really is all just about finding your balance as a parent that aligns with your values. I value emotional growth and bonding with my son just as much, if not more, than I do a college education. I value travel and exposing my son to new experiences, circumstances, and other ways of life- now- just as much, if not more, than saving for his college education. Providing him that obviously detracts from money I could be saving for his college education. I know that is not for everyone, and some people would disagree with me in doing so. But then I could never be that person who saves thousands of dollars a year in hopes of providing my son a loan-free college education. It just doesn't tie to my value and belief system. Doesn't make me wrong, and doesn't make them wrong. It just comes down to what YOU believe in for yourself and your family and what you feel it is your obligation to provide (beyond the basic necessities in life like food, clothing, and shelter). Nothing else matters.

[Batya33]

I don't think you're rigid and never wrote or meant that. I do agree with Prettymommy's point about flexibility being the biggest asset in parenting-so well put! I find some of what you write quite defensive which is why I wondered whether you were open to being "enlightened" if that is appropriate- it's good to hear that you are! And no I don't think you need enlightening anymore than the next person -but your posts do remind me of me 20 years ago and actually it's a nice nostalgic feeling to read what you write because it is so well-intentioned and thoughtful.

[newwave]

If I could do it over I would have done the cc route for two years then transferred to a state school. I had the grades and the maturity, I just didn't have the money. I have a friend who attended cc for two years, then a state college for the last two years and graduate school. He's not in debt AT ALL and it allowed him to buy a house much sooner than he probably would have been able to. He also had high grades but thought this was a good idea. Me I attended a cc, then went a semester to a Catholic university in the suburbs, then to a private art college, then to a state grad school. I am $40,000 in debt, which isn't as bad as it it could be, but that's still more than I wish, especially now with being unemployed with the masters. Also, I personaly thought the cc classes were much harder than the art college.

[lostnscared]

I know. I feel the same way, but my debt is less than 10k. I wouldn't have had debt at all, had I went to a CC than transferred to the college I went to. I don't regret the school I went to which is a private university also in Chicago(where the tuition was about 30k per year). My parents paid for all of my education, minus the scholarships I got for grades, and for being on the debate team. But my last year of college, my dad refused to pay anything but my tuition, and I had to pay for my books, food,car and clothing expenses--so I took out a loan, and also got a job. Nonetheless if I would have went to a CC, my parents probably wouldn't have felt the financial burden the way they did when I was a senior in college. Also I switched my major about 4 times in college, and I think that if anything was an indication that I had no real direction in school but to do well and graduate. My grades were excellent--but like I said, I had no direction and still have no direction now that I'm out of school. I think being thrown into a 4 year school before I was ready, resulted in me HAVING to choose "something" to major in, rather than something I WANTED and really had took the time to learn and research. If I would have went to a CC and lived at home, I would have had the opportunity to focus a bit more on figuring out my career goals after college. Ironically I ASKED my parents if I could go to a CC first, and my dad told me "no". If I have a child I would probably encourage the child to explore the CC option--if the child is anything like me.

[sherryberrypie]

Tuition costs just keep rising, so it frightens me to think what it will be like when the next generation heads to college. I wish my parents had saved for me, but they didn't really have the means to. With four kids and a divorce, I'm sure there wasn't much left over. My Dad started a mutual fund for me, but it crashed during the recession, so there's very little left. I've got $30,000 in loans racked up so far, and it is a constant weight to know that those are going to have to be paid off, and that I will be paying them off for a long time. There are bursaries and scholarships of course, but they're not available to everyone. Most of the scholarships here are for children of union employees, first years, etc... I've gotten a few, but they run out so fast. When I have kids, I will definitely find a secure way to create college savings for them.

[Circe]

First time round I lived with my parents and worked part time - so I used all my income to pay for my education because my parents were doing ok at this point but hardly had the enormous amount of money that it would have required just sitting around as spare cash. And of course this time round is the same. However where I live they have a great scheme where you dont have to pay up front if you dont want to. You can pay nothing until you get a job that earns over a certain amount - and at that point they start to deduct small amounts from your pay until its all paid off. But if you pay up front you get a good discount.

[RougeKali823]

I've paid for my entire education and that makes me feel really good about myself. That's not to knock my friends whose parents footed the bill but I feel like I am stronger for having had to do it alone. Now of course I got scholarships but I worked three jobs in undergrad to pay for my private education and presently I am working two jobs to put myself through grad school. I will help my kids as much as I can but I won't be paying for their entire educations. I feel like they'll appreciate their degrees more if they've paid for them. This doesn't mean I'll let them flounder in debt but they will have to show me that they truly want to succeed in order for me to invest. I hope this will teach them to value the reward of hard work. Unfortunately most of my friends who had the luxury of having had parents pay their entire way picked up drinking habits and a general lax work ethic that has made them pretty reckless post grads. I mean they all graduated but they still drink like fish and are unable to be free of what they picked up in undergrad.

[Fudgie]

My parents pay for my education...aside from my partial academic scholarship.

 

It was more like "We value your education. We feel this is a necessity. We have the money to do so. We want you to work on school and not stress like we had to."

 

I'm grateful for it, honestly. I work my bum off in school, I really do. It's hard work but I'm thankful that my parents were able to pay. If I just screwed it up and blew it off, then I'd feel terrible. I couldn't do that.

 

I don't feel like I was spoiled. I didn't get the designer clothes, I didn't get the fancy car, I won't be asking them to pay for my wedding (I doubt I'll be having one at this point, maybe just go to the Justice of the Peace and then a Bed and Breakfast)....I mean, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, my parents put 100% into education and raising me this way. For me and them, it is SO important.

[lostnscared]

It's interesting to note that the people who had their parents pay for their education, value it, and will pay for their own child's education. And the people in here who's parents did NOT pay, are those that value the child paying for his/her tuition. For the record my parents paid for close to 90% of my tuition, the other 9% was covered by scholarships(academic), and the remaining 1% I took out in loans to cover books, food, car, etc. I felt grateful for them paying for the amount they did, but also have seen that because they paid for my education, amongst my sisters, they basically had to sacrifice a lot financially and probably won't be able to retire when they WANT to because of it. Ironically even if they would have saved from the time we were babies until we were 18, they NEVER would have been able to save the amount of money that would cover all three of our tuitions.

I've read many financial magazines that have all pointed out that it isn't financially smart for a parent to ever pay for their child's entire tuition, because a child should have some sort of liability in it, and the parent also needs to look out for himself/herself--some of the money going toward tuition could be money that would be going toward retirement. There was a formula in many of these financial magazines that suggested that a child get 1/4 in scholarships, 1/4 they take out in loans or pay with savings, and 1/2 the parent pays. I liked this formula and this is how I based my decision. I also considered the way in which college tuition is priced at, and where it will probably be priced at 20-23 years from now when my first child goes off to school. More than likely college tuition will be something that only those that are very wealthy will be able to pay in full. I don't want to pressure myself or burden myself with that sort of financial liability(paying an entire tuition). I would rather help out as much as I could(following that formula for each child). Now in the case that my child DOES want his/her education completely paid off, then I would advise the child to go to a CC for two years to fulfill the Gen-eds then transfer to a four year university for the remaining two years. That would be the only case where I would pay the entire tuition.

 

But I see nothing wrong with a child taking out a loan or investing into their education financially. I also see nothing wrong with a parent, who has the means and values it, paying for an entire tuition. Where I do agree with Prettymommy is that the criteria for what I consider a good time to have a child does not involve me being able to afford to pay an entire tuition, or tuition at all (for that matter) but that I am able to provide food, shelter, love and a few luxuries that I feel are important to a child's growth.

[Batya33]

I disagree because it really depends on the amount of tuition and the parents' financial capabilities. My college tuition was very inexpensive and within my parents' means without any need to go into debt -far from it -but if I had wanted to go private I would have had to get a scholarship. My mother's college tuition was $18 a year- yes, you read right -and apparently my grandfather complained about paying it and that it was a waste of money. I think your analysis doesn't take into account the wide variations in college tuition and also the generational changes and the private/public education issue too. For example, I am glad my parents paid for my education, I was the opposite of spoiled, and while I see it as a positive thing to do as a parent, I fully recognize that paying might be a whole different matter if my child chooses an expensive college and/or wants to live in a dorm(I lived at home).

[OptomisticGirl]

For us we also have to factor in the amount of children we have. That does have an effect on how much we pay for each child. We want 4 but realistically will have 3. We can't (and wouldn't want to) pay for all 3. We could help a little with each but not all of all children, even if we thought we should pay for all of it, which we don't.

[lostnscared]

I agree with you on that one. Obviously if my child chose an inexpensive school, I would be able to afford to pay all four years. But if I can't afford to, I certainly won't beat myself over it or dig myself into a financial hole over it. The key is that I'll help as much as possible. But how much I will help is dependent on the school cost, and the route the child takes. I still really do believe that if a parent CAN afford to pay, and DOES pay then there is much to admire. I'm grateful for my parents paying for our tuitions. And hopefully I'll be able to help my child or children as much as I can(that will always remain the same--it's just the "how much" that will vary). As general rule I do believe in the formula(1/2 I pay for if the child chooses an expensive college, the rest the child pays for either through scholarships or student loans).

[charity]

Where I do agree with Prettymommy is that the criteria for what I consider a good time to have a child does not involve me being able to afford to pay an entire tuition, or tuition at all (for that matter) but that I am able to provide food, shelter, love and a few luxuries that I feel are important to a child's growth.

 

 

 

i totally agree with this. i spent some summers in america and one day i met a lovely woman who had a baby whom her and her husband adored . i was pregnant at the time and we got talking about how many children we would like to have and i was shocked to hear her say that'' we really want another one to give our baby a sibling but we've decided that we can't afford to send two kids to college so we are not having anymore'. i was really shocked. but i realize how expensive it is in america for college. but i was like huh! theres so much more to life then just college. to actually deprive yourself of a baby for this reason seems so strange to me.

[OptomisticGirl]

I agree. I can talk about American college but my children will go to a college in the UK so I kind of have to turn to CS's knowledge on the matter.