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People are always calling me dumb,slow or retarded and it's getting to me...


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I've always been someone who wasn't quick on their feet with learning or following directions or what have you. I don't know why but I've always been a little slow at doing things.My parents always referred to me as knucklehead or slow, they do it in a playful way but I know they're serious about. Throughout life people have always said things about how much of an idiot I am. I often make mistakes with everything I do and it's so hard for me to focus and catch on to the most simple things and tasks.

 

At my new job a lot of people don't like working with me because they know how backwards I am with getting things done. I work at a grocery store and sometimes I just mess up a lot with following order and directions and often, people get frustrated with me because it takes me a long time to catch on to something. One old guy at my job one day just referred to me as a dummy and we got into a heated argument over that and I reported him to my manager.

 

I don't know I've always been like that and maybe perhaps something is wrong with me but I don't know what it is. I've been idiot and dumb by so many people that I actually believe it's true now..

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There are many different kinds of intelligence; someone who's good at math might not have a mind for history, or a person might be able to learn quickly but not apply it in new ways, or know many facts but not why those facts are important, or know a lot about themselves but understand little about how others feel. That's why, if you mess up orders sometimes, it's a matter of thinking about why you do. Maybe you just find it hard to concentrate when you're under pressure, and being reminded of your parents telling you you're slow is enough to put anyone under pressure.

 

More importantly, you have to look at why people say so and so. People often get angry and insult others because of their own issues, not because the person they're insulting is to blame, and usually the words aren't as important as the meaning. "You're dumb for getting my order wrong" just means that person is angry, and it really is unreasonable to get angry over a simple mistake. You know in your own mind that you're right, and that's what matters.

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Once upon a time I was depressed over similar things. Now I go to a military academy, not to brag, and last year being a freshman I would screw up a lot. It was like a boot camp scenario so if I got yelled at for something I would concentrate on that thing and mess up elsewhere. Now there are many types of intelligence according to the world of psychology listed here:

 

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Not everybody can say they are attributed with all of them. What you need to do is find where you niche is an use the talents you were born with, utilize these skill sets into the real world so you can make a living. Ask yourself what your good at or what interests you. Here is an exercise I highly recommend and all you need is a pocket notepad and a pencil. One: every night before you go to bed write down five things you did right. This can range from the small: woke up extra early for work; to big: got this cute girl's number today at the mall. Well the last one is not really big but any five significant things you feel you did right write down. Second is for your actual work. Set aside a page and write all the general tasks that need to be done. Make it neat and organized so you can remember and check off when each is done. Write down as much as you need to get through the day but not too much. After all writing is thinking on paper you will not believe how much of a help this has done for me. Example I am horrible at names so I incorporated this into my own daily regiment. Whenever I meet someone I will write there name three times and something that reminds me of them next to there name written on the third time. You will find that using this is a type of conditioning that will help you organize your thoughts and think more logically. I understand that when flustered your dome pice (head) might shut off as a defense mechanism. Here is where you can fight back.

 

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Here is a link to link removed's Life Ops where it will ask you a series of questions that will help you find that niche I was talking about. Any more information on stuff like this and I have no trouble helping. Cause that job sounds mediocre and you should go for something better. Remember if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll still end up among the stars

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Everybody is different and it's normal for everyone to have their own paces. You may be slow at things and everybody has their stuff that they are slow. But you shouldn't accept that you are dumb, you accepting you are dumb won't help you much, instead you should believe that you can improve yourself, it may be hard while people are continuously telling you otherwise but you must have faith in yourself. Try to pay more attention to your surrounding, try to increase your focus and talk to people that you can and ask them to stop referring you like that.

 

My brother used to ask, how do you eat an elephant and the answer is by slicing it into little pieces

so don't try to tackle everything about yourself at once this will frustrate you, work little by little to improve yourself.

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I agree with LightBulbSun your prose is excellent and from that I see a great deal of intelligence. So let me teach you something; take your right hand, raise up your middle finger so it extends by itself and show it to those that call you a dummy. They deserve it.

 

There are different kinds of learning disabilities and it might be worth your while to get checked out. Schools and learning institutes would be where to get information. I think you comprehend but the information is not being processed in the "normal" fashion so to speak, presented differently you may well get if faster or just as fast as your peers.

 

I'm glad you are seeking assistance and I hope things work out. Good luck!

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Maybe the mistakes you are making now at work are due to a self fulfilling prophecy...if you've always been called names, it's hard not to believe them. In turn, you make more mistakes and people get more frusturated. It's a sucky cycle Like others have said, you have written a great post and someone who is dumb wouldn't be able to do that. Not everyone is going to be good at everything and I'm sure there are lots of things you excel at.

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  • 10 years later...

Have you considered maybe you have ADHD or anything else? It never hurts to check, but i will say unless its so severe that it constantly causes YOU issues in work, personal, etc. dont let them throw you on medication. Thats of course IF you have ADHD or similar. Otherwise, just know that everyone learns and works at their own pace and those people have no reason to judge you for the way you process and handle information. Eventually youll get the hang of it just like anyone else. Doesnt make you dumb and it sure as heck shouldnt make you demotivated :))) Hey you got this dont worry.. 

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