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3rd time he has contacted me during one month of NC...non chalance stressing NC works


sadchick83

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OK, so I mentioned last night he called after our Monday night date. We chatted for 40 minutes.

 

Today, he came to my work--I work at a bank and he was there "paying bills." There are at least 3 of the same banks on his way to work, so he must be trying to see me. He also has telephone/internet banking, so physically walking into a bank branch is not necessary.

 

I don't know how this will shake out, but since this is the 3rd contact he has made this week, I assume he is not trying to avoid me... He came to my office, I'm not sure if he noticed the photos of us together had been replaced by me with a couple of guys at a golf tournament.

 

I am not trying to say it's in the bag already, I just want to help out fellow ENA ers that Non chalance/ NC absolutely works! I have only called him once in the month and 10 days now since the break up. I have been completely distracted by purchasing a house, and he knows it. I never cried (in front of him) or begged him back. The worst I did was say I think we should try again.

 

For everyone out there looking to break NC-DONT. I can only speak from my own experience, but an initial few weeks of NC, followed by non chalance REALLY works.

 

His last girlfriend completely made a fool of herself. I've seen pictures of her. SHe is an attractive school teacher, but went ballistic when they broke up...months of texting, calling, saying she was pregnant, she was even crank calling me upwards of 80 times a week.

 

It's not in the bag yet, of course Ms Darcy, if we get back together, we have to discuss what we did wrong, how we will move forward, etc. I am in way better shape than last week this time...all because of this board...and learning about methods of contact.

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Thanks for this post.

 

My girl also contacted me after 5 days of Strict NC. No calls or texts from me.

 

She said she wanted space, so I gave her tons of it. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

 

Anyhow, she left me a message on my phone saying she needed advice on her resume. She's looking for her first job.

 

We talked for about 3-4 minutes. I was upbeat, told her I had to go soon and acted nonchalant. I hung up first. I didn't tell her I love her, but I think she knows.

 

I Really hope this works. I love her soo much.

 

I used to work at a bank too. Funny.

 

Well, keep up the good work and NC. I know how hard it is.

 

I hope it works out well for you.

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Thanks Crap!!!! I have to thank you personally!

I primed myself for our first meeting back by reading you 14 page non chalance post while putting on my make up!

 

Your method is awesome. NC is a bit to harsh. Hard core NC is for cheaters and really bad breakups. I did it for about 2 1/2 weeks, but non chalace is a much better option for me. NC for months on end would have been fake. By being so passive, it would have shown that I cared.

 

Of course I care and want to get back together, so non chalance is so much more natural, making it more effective for most situations.

 

Thanks for all of your posts, I read them all!

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Don't thank me; thank David Deangelo. I read a lot of his stuff and just gave it my own spin. I love that you've made it work for you.

 

The truth is, we give them and ourselves so much more when we don't let the bad stuff affect us.

 

NC works. But I agree it's not for everyone (hence my username). I had to find another way.

 

The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. Hating shows we still care too much. Indifference says we will not be affected. The latter is what stops them pulling away any more.

 

All the best. Looking forward to hearing more success stories from you.

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I do not feel I am in the clear yet. For all I know he could be with someone else and just checking in. I have read this happens. It eases people into their next relationship, knowing the former gf is always there just in case. We shall see....

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I'm glad that things are working the way you want! Really impressive. You're doing it great! Good luck to you, always.

 

I'd love to learn how to deal with my story too! I don't want to lose hope.

I'd be thankful if you read and respond to my story in this section and tell me what do you think. If NC and nonchalance would work in a way or another?

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