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Changing locks on b-day update


sadchick83

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So it has been 2 long weeks since the lock-up. He has come over once to get some of his things and twice to finish the renos that are almost complete.

 

It has been a very hard time, and it seems each time he comes over we argue and the stress level is very high. He is going on about not needing a gf now and that I abused him emotionally in the relationship. I have never called him a name, and generally do not raise my voice, and paid for 90% of our living expenses, so I'm not sure where he is getting this from. We agreed somewhat to start from square one and go on a date when he has some time.

 

I have asked him for a few things back and that he take the rest of his furniture. He became increasingly angry when I made this request. I tried to be reasonable, and mentioned he could leave the furniture here for a while longer if necessary. He seems to not want to return a camera he borrowed from a family member...he had bought an expensive lense for this camera, so was avoiding its return. I asked a second time "are you sure you don't have the camera?" He nearly lost it.

 

I really think the locking out thing was an extreme thing to do. However, I am paranoid this guy was using me for a place to live,and business I provided for him. In the last month or two, his business has not been going well. He called me a "retard" as I mentioned ( He doesn't think this is a big deal.) and seemed to always be in a bad mood.

 

I really thought if he loved me, we could work things out. If he leaves for good, he never loved me, was just using me for the things I provided. Im sad because the relationship went downhill so fast. What do you do if your bf all of a sudden becomes anger personified?? I am willing to try again, he said he was too, but I haven't spoke to him since Saturday. He said he would call me in a few days to do something together....that was Saturday-- he is very busy at work.

 

Any thoughts? Suggestions as to how I can make it through this time? I've tried some sports activities, but the enthusiasm is not there. I am basically practicing no contact, since I know he is working 18 hour days, and he mentioned he would contact me. Today is worse than yesterday. I think he may be a bit worried about nc through the next weekend, that's why he called me on Saturday morning to say we would do something in a few days

 

Please help!

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I have to agree with Ms Darcy, why are you even worried about him calling you back or keeping in contact with you?

 

Go back to the way he made you feel that led you to the lock out, those things didn't and aren't going to just change because you two are no longer living together. Unresolved conflict isn't going to get better just by ignoring it and hoping changing some things here and there will make it all better.

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I guess since the first year things went well. It has only been the last 2 months or so that things have take a bad turn. I am a good girlfriend who understands when you are self employed , you really have a hard first few years. I guess I am basing my consideration on the first year which was really good. We took many trips, camping, golf etc. For better or for worse is my dogma. Should I just look at a bad month or two, or should I look at the relationship as a whole?

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