hers Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 All of my coworkers have read the book and loved it but I'm eh about it. Thrillers aren't really my thing. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 All of my coworkers have read the book and loved it but I'm eh about it. Thrillers aren't really my thing. Mine either, really. I like thriller movies but I like my books to have dragons and all that in it. Link to comment
zentoCC Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I've read the book, I really enjoyed it. The end creeped me out. I'm going to see the film in the next few weeks, I normally wait until the crowds have died down. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 I know how the book ends - I told my aunt she could tell me or I'd wiki it - def. a better made Lifetime movie! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I just finished Gone Girl (I usually do not read thrillers though) and really enjoyed it. Looking forward to seeing the movie too. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 I have the hardest time accepting this is my life now. Memories really are the devil in heartbreak. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 It’s been such a swift change, of course you feel sideswiped. You really are doing awesome though OG. I’m so proud of you. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 Thank you both. I have to tell myself multiple times a day 'he doesn't love you anymore and doesn't want you.' - I'm not sure I believe it yet. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I am so sorry. None of us understand either. You our will find love again, real love, with a man who will talk to you when he's upset. Link to comment
hers Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 B, I hate this for you. I hope things get better for you very soon. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 I feel like this is never going to end. Link to comment
Firiel Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 I feel like this is never going to end. I said something similar in February of 2013. My roommate noted the date and told me we were going to have a party a year from that day because I would be feeling so much better. Sure enough, February of 2014 I was doing really well, and I made dinner for the friends who had really helped me through the divorce. So make a note of the date when you read this. And plan a party for one year later. It is amazing how much changes (for the better!) in a year. Link to comment
hers Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 I said something similar in February of 2013. My roommate noted the date and told me we were going to have a party a year from that day because I would be feeling so much better. Sure enough, February of 2014 I was doing really well, and I made dinner for the friends who had really helped me through the divorce. So make a note of the date when you read this. And plan a party for one year later. It is amazing how much changes (for the better!) in a year. That is such a great suggestion! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 I'll keep that in mind F. Gone Girl was soooo good!!! It was completely twisted. In the beginning when they were talking about the perfect marriage that went south I was sat there like 'really? I came to this movie to escape seeing that dangit!' but by the end I was like 'well, at least I'm not physco like this girl!' It was a long movie too - almost 3 hours! While helping my aunt decorate for the baby shower she is hosting tomorrow a mutual friend L and I had on facebook messaged me asking what I thought about his recent post. Obviously he and I aren't friends on there anymore so she had to tell me he apparently went out for a birthday dinner for him. It just kind of adds to the fact that there is obviously someone new in the picture. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Do you suspect there is someone else already? I mean, people can go out with just friends for birthday meals. What is your gut telling you, or did you find out something else new? I'm sorry, it sucks. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 No, nothing new. I'll say it wouldn't surprise me that if once the divorce is finale, someone just 'happens' to come out of the wood work. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I'm sorry to say, I wouldn't be surprised either. I'm so sorry. Regardless, you deserve so much more. Link to comment
petite Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Gosh that's awful. But it does make you think about his true colors if that's how he operates. If that is how he can treat you - his wife and supposed best friend. Then what can others expect? If there is someone, she should run for her life. You're so much better off. Just imagine if he pulled this BS another five years from now? Now you can find the job you like, study what you want, take care of your health, move on, meet someone good and decent and be treated better than having the rug pulled out from under you without any warning. Think of this as victory. You're winning at life because at least you didn't hurt someone deliberately. And if he does have someone already then it was all deliberate. It's all so calculated. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 Gosh that's awful. But it does make you think about his true colors if that's how he operates. If that is how he can treat you - his wife and supposed best friend. Then what can others expect? If there is someone, she should run for her life. You're so much better off. Just imagine if he pulled this BS another five years from now? Now you can find the job you like, study what you want, take care of your health, move on, meet someone good and decent and be treated better than having the rug pulled out from under you without any warning. Think of this as victory. You're winning at life because at least you didn't hurt someone deliberately. And if he does have someone already then it was all deliberate. It's all so calculated. That is the part that still has me... so... I don't know. Sad. Because I knew this man better than he knew himself. I knew what made him tick, what his worst fears were, his honor code, how he thought... And that man isn't the kind of man who would rip the rug out from under me. In the end he became what he feared most - his father. And that makes me really, really sad. Link to comment
petite Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Of course it makes you sad. It would make anyone sad, and it's ok to be sad and to feel however you feel. You're allowed to feel and express what you feel. It's just so horrible and unfair. I keep going over it in my head and wondering how I'd handle it and I really don't think anyone can fathom the pain of having their husband do something like that without warning - especially without warning. It's like, how does one just wake up and says they want a divorce and there is no point in trying? Without any bloody warning. All couples go through ups and downs, sometimes it's really good but it can be bad too. That's just life, people go through all sorts of problems. The good news is not all men are like that and you will meet someone good that will think and believe you are worth it. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 The only thing I can think of is work got stressful, we weren't in the best place, and all that kind of just grew and grew. And instead of communicating he just turned his back on me and ran. Link to comment
petite Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Honestly, everyone goes through that though. It is his fault for not expressing himself or his concerns. And work alone wouldn't stop him from caring or loving you or even trying to make it work. If it was only (who knows what it was since he didn't say anything to you) work then he would still have the feelings he had. Feelings don't just go out the window when life gets busy, and if he can't handle regular work tasks without giving up his marriage then he shouldn't be in the job position he's in. Doctors and lawyers work extremely long hours with a ton of pressure, and yet manage to have careers, partners heck even children and outside interests. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 I agree 100%. I obviously still love him (unlike some my feelings just don't disappear in a matter of weeks) and I wish I didn't. It would make life so much easier right now. Before we got married my uncle asked both of us how we knew the other was the one - his response was something like 'she's worth it'. One of the things he told me after dropping the bomb on me was that that was still true - obviously not. I threatened to contest the divorce the other day (wasn't a good day for me, both emotionally and at work) and he got pretty vicious with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in another world compared to everything I thought I knew about him. And because I'm still in love with him, I don't want to fully expect the worst of his actions but what do they always say? Actions speak louder than words. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 It all just seems way too premeditated. He thought this through before, I guarantee it. He is on my FB and his cheery statuses make me sick. They honestly do. You deserve so much better than this. Link to comment
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