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OptomisticGirl

By OptomisticGirl
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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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Is having a low self esteem hour. Don't know what bought it on but I am... and God bless my best friend, the entire time I'm complaining about being 'fat' and unattractive she's steadily texting me that I'm not fat, I'm curvy and that CS loves me for who I am, and that's all that should matter.

 

While I know what she is saying, it's a hard hour to accept it....

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lostnscared Collaborator

lostnscared

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Is having a low self esteem hour. Don't know what bought it on but I am... and God bless my best friend, the entire time I'm complaining about being 'fat' and unattractive she's steadily texting me that I'm not fat, I'm curvy and that CS loves me for who I am, and that's all that should matter.

 

While I know what she is saying, it's a hard hour to accept it....

 

I know the feeling. My friend posted a picture of me on facebook the other day and when I saw how big I looked I almost had a panic attack. It was probably one of my lowest days ever.

 

My bf is always giving me compliments and telling me I'm fine just the way I am. But sometimes it just doesn't help.

 

And my diet just went to the waste after I devoured banana pudding when I couldn't bare the taste of this fiber flat bread pizza.

 

My biggest fear is never losing the weight at this point since it seems so far away.

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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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I know the feeling. My friend posted a picture of me on facebook the other day and when I saw how big I looked I almost had a panic attack. It was probably one of my lowest days ever.

 

My bf is always giving me compliments and telling me I'm fine just the way I am. But sometimes it just doesn't help.

 

And my diet just went to the waste after I devoured banana pudding when I couldn't bare the taste of this fiber flat bread pizza.

 

My biggest fear is never losing the weight at this point since it seems so far away.

 

I know what you mean. It's like I get impatient with dieting and since I haven't lost any in a few days, I just give up and start devouring sodas and food again. CS and I had a long talk the other day though about the amount of sodas I intake and I know he is so worried about me...

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lostnscared Collaborator

lostnscared

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I know what you mean. It's like I get impatient with dieting and since I haven't lost any in a few days, I just give up and start devouring sodas and food again. CS and I had a long talk the other day though about the amount of sodas I intake and I know he is so worried about me...

 

 

That's my issue--stamina. I'll do good at first, and then when I don't see enough changes, I say "eff it, I'm not losing anyway" and I right back to my eating habits.

 

I'm actually reading a book by Michelle Mays about Mindful eating. She struggled with up and down weight for 20 years before realizing that dieting wasn't working for her.

 

She believes you can eat what you want, as long as you consciously think about it before you put it in your body(i.e. remember I'm pouring a high sodium, carbonated drink with toxins down my body that has the potential to do to do this, this, this) and it will automatically cause you to drink less.

 

Unfortunately I greedily ate the banana pudding without thinking beforehand.

 

Yea soda is def not a good habit, but if in moderation-maybe one cup a day. It's not a huge deal. I'm no longer a proponent of cold turkey diets. It's just to difficult to maintain.

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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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I may have to try that book.

 

Yeah, I refuse to go on a radical diet like egg whites and what not. I NEED food. I know what's wrong with me, I just haven't taken the steps to fix it.

 

I have 7 to 8 20 oz. sodas a day. Yeah, that's not good at ALL. :s I'm going to try cutting back to one every day during a meal and count it as my calorie intake. Right now on a normal day I'm intaking like 2,000 or 3,000 calories and not exercising.

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sidehop Proficient

sidehop

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Sorry to hear about your friend, ugh that sucks for her but also for the new guy; the idea of the child not having a father figure is heartbreaking alone.

 

Nothing wrong with curvy! My wife is curvy (she's part French) and love it, my ex was the opposite where she went to the extreme of things and ended up losing down to size two which was not her body type where normally she's at size four or so.

 

The whole egg white thing too is old news nowadays, even bodybuilding mags and other resources don't say eating one whole egg with some extra white eggs whites isn't going to kill you. In fact the other day one meal plan (seven meal, 2,700 calories total) was using three whole eggs and three egg whites for breakfast. It also had white bread, tablespoon of natural peanut butter and things most people would probably avoid few years ago.

 

Cut back slowly and replace the sweets with natural sweets from fruits if not replace it with fruit juice of some kind, you'll eventually crave less of the super sweet artificial tastes. Enjoy a slice of pizza and soda once in awhile. I do, burgers and other high calorie/fat foods but also choosing ones with better ingredients. Portion control is important but the quality of the food itself is just as important.

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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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It is heart breaking. I mean, I thought my father was bad, but my niece's father is horrible. My best friend wanted him to watch her a Friday (he gets her Tues and Thurs) and he said, "No. My days are Tues and Thurs. No other day." Who turns down seeing their child?!

 

I don't mind my curves, I really don't. And I don't want to lose to them. I just don't want this huge stomach that I have required over the years. :s

 

Well today I consumed about 1500 calories I think. I really didn't keep track but I def. cut back on the food. And I only had about 16 oz. worth of a soft drink (I measured it out into a cup). I mean, it's still a soda but it's less than 1 20 oz. It's a start...

 

ON a side note, for one day of my life, I wished I wouldn't have a headache....

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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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Most likely your headaches will subside once you quit the soda.

 

Sadly, I doubt it. I have had headaches ever since I was a little kid. The first bone in my neck is out (or gets out of place) and it's just something I have never had the money to correct or get the proper medicine to take care of. Hopefully once I move to England I can finally get rid of them once and for all or at least have them become more managable.

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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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I spent the entire 30 min drive to work today arguing with Orbitz. Luckily I checked my bank statement before going to work online and Orbitz had charged me twice for the Atlanta hotel I had booked through them. Of course they said it was 'normal' and in five days the second charge would go away. That's nice, I have other bills to pay and can't because of your second charge. Apparently I witched enough for them to credit it back to me....

 

Which, on a related note, means I can pay off our Gatlinburg cabin tomorrow. I can hear it now. What is this 'we' you talk about? Yeah... yeah... I was also so excited that it's only 27 days until CS arrives that I already programmed all the locations into my Google navigator on my Droid. I must say, I love my phone. Before my Droid I would have to print out the directions from Mapquest and hope they didn't a) get lost before the trip or b) fly out the window (I have had this happen before on a trip to Myrtle Beach Now all I have to do is input my ending location and it gives me step by step directions on my phone!

 

And it has a map option to show where we should be. I would say this means I don't have to buy a map but I know how that argument is going to go....

 

I suppose I should also start figuring out what I'm going to pack. More so, what I'm going to pack IN. I gave my aunt the suitcase I used for NY back (although I can hear CS furiously shouting 'yes!' at that statement). Mom has a small bag but when I say small I mean small. Like, for a night or two. Pretty sure I won't fit everything I need for over a week into it....I may have to bum something off my brother.

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OptomisticGirl Mentor

OptomisticGirl

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Why is it my sleep patterns always end up weird on my days off?

 

barely got to talk to CS this weekend with both of us being zonked from work this week. I hate when we actually do have time to talk and we can't. *sigh* I mean, since we started skyping on our phones we do talk more than we normally did. Usually he talk during my 30 min. lunch break and since I don't get in til 2 now we can talk for about an hour before I go to work after he comes home from work.

 

Still. I'm just so ready to see him... almost 25 days until I do.

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renaissancewoman101 Grand Master

renaissancewoman101

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So I'm watching this shark special and as crazy as it sounds, I really want to go swimming with sharks. Obviously with an experienced diver and what not in as safe of an environment as you can but I think it would be a great thing to say you did.

 

If you ever make it over to Hawaii with CS, there are places there where u can go swimming with the sharks. You do it in a metal cage which protects you. I don't think I ever could do it. I know, I know. I'm brave enough to go skydiving from 12,000ft, but swimming with the sharks freaks me out.

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