Oh I feel like crap..

[paulod]

Ohhh my head hurts...!!!

okay Ive been feeling like crap ever since my ex overheard me talking about going to a party and that a woman liked me but I wasn't interested...and that somehow women seem to be attracted to me now?? not saying this as a big head I just don't get it..??

I've felt so guilty ever since she overheard...she must think that I'm such a bas**** and she probably thinks she was right about me all along but she couldn't be more wrong...(sigh)

Been very low last few weeks, and been drinking more than I should again because of it...am not the way I used to be with drink but I'm still drinking too much!

Just feel like I've confirmed what an ar**hole I am to her because of what she overheard when I'm not! just was happy that after so long women found me attractive! just wish that the woman I love so much found me attractive and wanted to spend time with me...but she doesn't and it's not going to happen....and no matter what, it kills inside!

 

god I'm so good at giving out advice to other people, it seems so natural! taking my own advice however is so hard!!feel like such a hypocrite! was doing so well and now I'm back to missing her, and crying over her....been months since the split!

 

Anyone know a builder??? I need a brick wall built around my heart I think!!!

 

If brick is too much money then just insulation...that would do!

[MalibuOne]

There is not a damn thing wrong with feeling glad that you're attractive! What? Were you supposed to become a monk just because one relationship ended? I think not. And yes, it's easy to give advice to others...it's a whole 'nother world when it's about your feelings. It stops being easy when it starts being you.

[paulod]

Hey Malibu,

I just feel so bad?? feel guilty??why??think I just need a slap to get me back into reality! been thinking too much lately!!!! yeah giving advice and doing your own advice is so different!!! Thanks Malibu x ...reality check for me!!!

[MalibuOne]

One of my closest friends just told me the other day that she just wanted to slap the $#it out of me for thinking along the same lines you are! I was beating myself about what I might have "done wrong" for about the 867th time and she wanted me to get my head on straight.

 

We all feel guilt when the ex gets their feelings hurt, but that's your heart talking, not your head. Your head knows there's nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself, so give yourself a break. She sounds like she was just experiencing a pang of jealousy...it won't kill her.

[paulod]

I've stood still an taken your webslap.....getting back to reality!!! thanks Malibu! it is my heart talking and not my head! hope your friend managed to sort you out without resorting to slapping the $h** out of you lol!

 

yeah it did feel good that I wasn't such a loser ugly gimpazoid hunchback freak... shouldn't feel so bad about it, need to stop worrying about what she thinks

[MalibuOne]

Well good. I hope it didn't hurt much - lol! No my friend was probably tired of hearing me cut myself down when I am normally a very confident, successful woman. Shortly after she metaphorically slapped me, I found this site and it's been so helpful to read the threads and know that you can whine a little here without driving everyone crazy...they're going through it too.

 

Of course you're not all those awful descriptors you used...neither am I. We just lose sight of ourselves momentarily. And your ex must have found you attractive once or she wouldn't have picked you. She can't now get her undies in a bunch because other women are attracted to you...kind of the "I don't want him, you can't have him" syndrome, seems to me.

[paulod]

Nah it stings but yer slap not so bad lol!! my friends are the same, and they're mostly guys so guess how much sympathy I'm getting....erm...none!!! Yeah it has been so helpful with peeps like you giving advice...thank you from the bottom of my heart Malibu,you are a special lady, you sorted me out tonight

 

Yeah I guess she did, maybe she still does who knows?? she defo threw a paddy last time I saw her when she'd found out I'd been to a party...with women invited!! crime of the century I guess lol!!

[MalibuOne]

Threw a paddy? God, I love the Internet...

 

Hang in there...in time, she'll either realize she's made a terrible mistake in letting you go or she won't. If it's the latter, it wouldn't have worked in the long haul anyway, right? You just take care of you.

[paulod]

erm yeah went mental, "Threw a paddy" lol...you're not Irish are you??

 

Yeah I'll keep hanging in there!!! thanks Malibu...you take care of you too, I'll be checking up!

 

aww hell...here's a kiss x

thank you for sorting me out

[MalibuOne]

yeah, i figured it out and no, I'm not Irish, well not enough to count, anyway! Made me laugh and that's a good thing.

 

OK! Going into Day 10 with very little sleep. How's that for taking care of me? Hope you did better than I did.

[paulod]

Ahh glad I made you laugh, if only for a wee bit

How you doing today Malibu???

 

hmmm you need to be getting sleep, It's very hard with your mind racing all the time, think I went weeks without sleeping properly then all of a sudden I was off work for a week and just stayed in bed for most of it...sleeping!!!

I seem to go through stages where I'll be okay for long periods and then (like last few days) I'll get down again, those periods are getting less frequent but they are still there unfortunately, just got to stay strong and focus on me!

[TSandullo]

Hey Paulod my friend

 

hope you are well.

 

Yup, like others have said, I repeat also: Screw what your ex thinks. We know that you didn't intend to be overheard that day. Who cares if your ex thinks otherwise.

 

Then again, who cares WHAT your ex thinks.

 

I guess the real concern for you regarding all this is the fact that her acting this could poptentially ruin any chance of reconciliation no?

 

I guess only time will tell.

 

Until then...and even if not, go out there and have fun! Be the hot sexy stud you are and lets those ladies get weak legged as you strut your stuff around the club.

 

Such a shame your ex is missing out on you though.

 

So, go on and have fun. Fear not what yer ex thinks.

 

Trust me, two weekends ago I went gokarting with my ex and mutual friends.

In one race I overtook her from the inside, barging her aside slightly.

 

When we came to pits, I turned around to face her: she stuck her middle finger at me.

I turned away mildly amused.

It has been bugging her since and she has been profusely apologetic.

My point: Have fun, screw what anyone else thinks...even us ENAers!

 

TS

[paulod]

hey TS how you doing??

It's going okay, day off from Londontown and the sun's out so can't be bad lol!

 

Yeah that seems to be the general feeling amongst the masses...who cares what she thinks! green eyed monster came out,which made me chuckle a bit, the ice queen has feelings after all lol!! but that's her issue...she needs to deal with it

 

That is my concern I guess, is she now thinking I'm just a complete **** because she overheard that??? mind you my mate said that I didn't really say anything that bad?? guess she just doesn't like to think of other women being around me having fun

Who knows??? I need to stop caring really, as you say time will tell and who knows what's going on in her head...I sure don't! and not healthy trying to figure it out either

 

Erm...not sure about the hot sexy stud bit making women weak legged mate lol!!! think them being drunk had more to do with it!

 

Yeah guess I need to just keep doing what I'm doing, it's making me whole again...and that's what I need to be before anything else can happen