Allipie Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I'm just venting....I'm getting over a bad cold, so i'm stuck in bed with just my thoughts. I don't want to talk to friends, because they're sick of hearing about my situation. My situation has been going on for a couple years. It all started with me going through some things (serious illness, moving), being stressed, and lashing out at him...and him going through some stress too. Our relationship was strained for sure and we just needed to talk about it-but he just shut me out. It got to the point where a lot of people got involved-people would tell me things about him, i'd get upset and want to talk; people would tell him things about me, he'd get mad, ignore me, but talk to other people about it....hence me having to hear about it again. Here's a brief update: Now I'm sitting here thinking about it. It's like, just when i'm starting to feel ok, something else happens that hinders the healing process. I find myself still just so mad at him for not talking to me when I needed him to, but at that same time, I miss him so much and just want us to be back together and forget about all the crazy drama that has happened. Im definitely a different person now, but he won't see that because we're never around each other...and I can't exactly TELL him I'm different (actions speak louder than words). What I need to do is stop holding on to hope that he WILL come back, but there's still that incredibly small part of me that believes that one day he will, when he's ready. I took a couple months off work to fix my issues (stress, depression) and am better. I've filled up my social calendar, picked up new hobbies....but it's like, there's still this hole, or void. Anytime a friend tells me they've noticed a difference and that I seem happier, I just come home and break down because the ONE person whom I really want so badly to see it, can't/won't. Thanks for letting me vent. as always, opinions, words of encouragement are welcomed. Link to comment
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