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Back after 4 months...he contacted me

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and now here I am again - confused and full of emotions. we stopped contact finally after being on and off. mostly because we were toxic, and we had an accident during sex. (yes broke his... ) So I FINALLY succeeded in no contact of 4 months because of the pain I knew he was going through. I figured if I could give anything- it would be to respect his wish of letting him get on with his life. So I refrained...and thought about him daily- but never once contacted. Then last week he emails me, saying he is still having a very hard time with recovery and just wants me to know how things are. Then had the nerve to ask me if I can help him get used to sex again, on friendly terms....he is afraid to let anyone near him. God I am so frustrated. I said no, it wasnt a good idea. He thanked me for talking, etc.


but NOW he keeps crossing my mind, and the temptation to just be with him is there. I've been alone for awhile, and crave intimacy....and I am tempted to just see him once. This is so ridiculous, I know I have progressed- but I can almost guarantee he hasn't...he has probably been popping pain pills like crazy and even worse into his self destruction.


So why- do I still feel the need to see him once. I'm doing so much better than I ever was. I guess a part of me just wishes he were the person I once knew...before I discovered all the bad. I feel like since he emailed me- it's okay to write him. But I need to get on with my life. I dont want to fall weak like every time in the past and contact him. I'm writing to vent I guess.....instead of emailing him this. I'm trying to be a bigger better person.

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So let me get this straight...you're thinking of lending him your vajayjay for a test drive? Afterward, when he realizes he's fixed and ready, he'll go sleep with someone else?


You can big a bigger and better person if you get on with your life. This will make you feel like crap.

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for the first time i can honestly say i'm past the idea of hooking up with him. and you're right if I were too...it would be a pretty messed up situation. i guess i was craving more of the contact with him - not the hooking up.

needed a dose of reality- the answer is to move on and not contct. (writing here does help.) thanks.

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