bar35 Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Last night I called a woman who I am very interested in and have gone out with a few times. I left a message and she called me back soon. Unfortunately I was at the movies when she called back. She said in the message that it was getting late and that she was going to sleep soon, and that she would call tomorrow. Tomorrow is now today and I have not heard from her. Should I have called her/text messaged her, or would that look desperate, or would that just look interested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lana111 Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 call her! it's no big deal. dont worry about how it will look. she called you, you missed the call... call her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Skittles Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 wait until tomorrow and give her a call. she called you back so thats a good sign! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shudder Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 yea call her.. who cares enough with the phone games already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amipushy Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Call her today. She might be feeling like you avoided her call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I agree with the others, call her if you haven't heard from her by tomorrow! She wouldn't call you back if she wasn't interested... well I wouldn't... and don't think most girls would! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bar35 Posted June 8, 2010 Author Share Posted June 8, 2010 Cool. I'll give her a call today. I hope that she doesn't feel as though I blew her off. I really hate the balancing back and forth that happens up front. I just want to feel free to call a person who I want to talk to and not feel as though every little step I take or don't take is weighted into some sort of category of desperate, too aloof, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Cool. I'll give her a call today. I hope that she doesn't feel as though I blew her off. I really hate the balancing back and forth that happens up front. I just want to feel free to call a person who I want to talk to and not feel as though every little step I take or don't take is weighted into some sort of category of desperate, too aloof, etc... I know what you mean... it sucks to feel like every little thing is judged and you could simply do one little thing wrong and end it all... But that said, I would assume if the person is right for you, they wouldn't judge every little thing! Good luck! Ammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious_Girl Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 But that said, I would assume if the person is right for you, they wouldn't judge every little thing! That's what I was going to say! I hate all that stuff too; I just want to be myself. And you know, when I do what I want to do, I get a lot more insight into the other person's character than I do when I do what I think I should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bar35 Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 when I do what I want to do, I get a lot more insight into the other person's character than I do when I do what I think I should. That's a really good point. This whole scenario has been mucked up from the start. She called me yesterday, I missed it, and then I called her back. We spoke briefly, I asked her out and she said that maybe she could get together on Saturday, but I had plans already so I told her that next week would be better. We agreed that would be a better plan, but I can't stand how slow this is all going. This is not normal. I'm gonna have to hit the road on this one soon , regardless of how pretty, and successful she is. She is just not available for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 What do you mean she's "not available" for you? When she called you, you were out and when she tried to make plans for the weekend, you already had plans..... Am I missing something?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shudder Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 That's a really good point. This whole scenario has been mucked up from the start. She called me yesterday, I missed it, and then I called her back. We spoke briefly, I asked her out and she said that maybe she could get together on Saturday, but I had plans already so I told her that next week would be better. We agreed that would be a better plan, but I can't stand how slow this is all going. This is not normal. I'm gonna have to hit the road on this one soon , regardless of how pretty, and successful she is. She is just not available for me. are you writing her off because she has a life and other commitments too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bar35 Posted June 10, 2010 Author Share Posted June 10, 2010 What do you mean she's "not available" for you? When she called you, you were out and when she tried to make plans for the weekend, you already had plans..... Am I missing something?? are you writing her off because she has a life and other commitments too? Hey Sav, no you are not missing anything, you're right. I guess that I am just sooo much more used to someone being able to make time for early on, and I am sort of responding to other behaviors she has, or has not exhibited. Shudder, that about sums it up, and when you put it like that what I am saying sounds rather silly. I'm just nervous about pursuing this woman, and even though the signals say things are ok in some ways, there are other signals that are non responsive/distant. I guess some guys can chase and chase and chase, but I have never been like that before and felt any good come of it. Well come to think of it that's not quite true. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Hey Sav, no you are not missing anything, you're right. I guess that I am just sooo much more used to someone being able to make time for early on, and I am sort of responding to other behaviors she has, or has not exhibited. Shudder, that about sums it up, and when you put it like that what I am saying sounds rather silly. I'm just nervous about pursuing this woman, and even though the signals say things are ok in some ways, there are other signals that are non responsive/distant. I guess some guys can chase and chase and chase, but I have never been like that before and felt any good come of it. Well come to think of it that's not quite true. ;-) It doesn't sound like you're doing all the chasing - you're just playing phone tag and trying to find time to see each other. I know it's hard to tell sometimes what is "too busy" in a legitimate way and otherwise but I can relate to this woman - when I had my career I worked like crazy much of the time and often had to cancel plans last minute (which I always warned the person about in advance!) - some guys gave up on me after I had to cancel a few times like that despite my doing my utmost to reschedule. That's fine - they just didn't choose to be with someone who had that kind of crazy career. I found it much easier to date someone as busy or busier than me so that we felt more "even" about canceling. I hope you give her a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bar35 Posted June 10, 2010 Author Share Posted June 10, 2010 Thanks Batya, I definitely want to give her a chance, I'm really into her. Thanks for sharing what your experiences were like, it sounds like you were in law or finance. She is a small business owner, and seems really locked into her work, more mentally than out of necessity. But I will stay strong, because if I can land her, she is well worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious_Girl Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 But I will stay strong, because if I can land her, she is well worth it. And if she can land you, you are well worth it, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shudder Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 im in a similar boat but with a girl i only went on 1 date with. she's going on vacation for just over a week and the next time i will get to see her, if i do, is probably towards the end of this month.. a little annoying but i hope to stay on it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bar35 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Share Posted June 12, 2010 And if she can land you, you are well worth it, right? Yeah, I'm not so bad. ;-) im in a similar boat but with a girl i only went on 1 date with. she's going on vacation for just over a week and the next time i will get to see her, if i do, is probably towards the end of this month.. a little annoying but i hope to stay on it.. It is really frustrating to have so much time elapse between dates. It makes it difficult to maintain a connection to the person, especially early on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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