I was moody, should i say sorry?

[proud]

About 5 months ago my ex gf broke up with me unexpectedly. We had a one year relationship and everything looked fine, we never had argues etc. She wrote me an email in which she wrote that she didn't see future in a relationship with me, cause she didn't like hugging and couldn't show emotions like I do etc. She also wrote that I could get a better girl.

 

I couldn't believe it and tried everything possible to get her back that first week, but didn't visit her since we live 2 hours away from each other and she didn't want me to come over. So we were in LC (on msn) during that first period, until she told me during one of our conversations that she met an other guy. From that moment I went into NC.

 

That NC lasted for several weeks/months, until I decided to show my face again on msn. I didn't initiate any conversation, but sure enough the first time I popped online she asked me how I was doing etc. I told her I was doing fine and so on, and a few minutes later I went offline by saying I had to do stuff. This kinda repeated about 6 times, everytime it was she who initiated the conversation and I was the one who went offline first.

 

So basically I'm in NIC right now.. the funny thing is that she is never online unless I'm online..

 

Our last conversation was a week ago, I was kinda moody that day and I accused her of cheating on me. I don't think she actually did, although she knew the guy before we splitted up.

 

So I'm considering to say sorry to her in an offline message... something in the way of: 'hey I'm sorry I acted strange the other day, but you know some things are bothering me'. I think the line must be altered, but there must be something in it so that she knows there is a way back to me.

 

I know you are gonna say... stay away from her and move on. But I really want to stay friends with her, and to be honoust.. if she becomes single I would like to have a relation again with this beautifull woman, and I'm not only talking about her looks.

 

So what should I write exactly? I don't want too seem hopeless, but I want the message out.

[Klimtz]

stay away. You would like to be friends but if she is single again you would like to be again with her?

Too soon. Stay away.

[Ms Darcy]

You don't sound like you want to be friends ... you sound like you want to be on good terms so that you can get another shot.

 

Do you really understand why she broke up with you?

[FootofGod]

You don't sound like you want to be friends ... you sound like you want to be on good terms so that you can get another shot.

 

Do you really understand why she broke up with you?

 

Words of wisdom. The only time you'll be ready to be friends is when you are totally clean. Not just that you accept the fact that you've broken up, but when you wake up and are totally okay with it - when you're not even sure if you'd take them back. Relationships are hard, but that's the way it seems to work

 

Here's the deal - you wanted a romantic relationship from her, and she wants something else, so she withdrew. Likewise, you want more than a friendship with her, and since you want something else, you should withdraw. Until one of you changes what you want from the other, the only relationship you could possibly have is an unhealthy one - someone would be giving something less against their will and not receiving what they want from the other.

 

Does that make sense? That's why you can neither be together nor friends for now.

[proud]

You don't sound like you want to be friends ... you sound like you want to be on good terms so that you can get another shot.

 

Do you really understand why she broke up with you?

 

Very true

 

Well I understand why she broke up with me, but that were things that are worked on.

 

And to be very honoust I don't think I can be true friends with her as long as she has an other guy... I don't see myself visit her and have a drink with that guy. I'm not like that, and I'll never be.

 

But then again, I could be friends with her on msn and have nice conversations. And if they ever break up I can ask her to catch up with me.

 

I don't want to loose contact with her, she is very important for me

 

How about telling her I'm sorry for being a jerk during our last converstion on msn? That's an ideal oportunity to tell her that I would have seen things different.

[proud]

So I wanna write this message to her.. too say I'm sorry I was moody

But I'm not sure what to write exactly...

 

'Hi, I'm sorry I was moody last time we spoke and that I don't initiate any conversation on msn, but thats just too difficult for me

 

or

 

'Hi, I'm sorry I was moody last time we spoke and that I don't initiate any conversation on msn, but some things are hard to deal with '

 

or perhaps I should write something different?

[Ms Darcy]

Very true

 

Well I understand why she broke up with me, but that were things that are worked on.

 

 

So you think a break up is a negotiation? I think getting into a relationship is saying 'let's try this out' and the break up is saying 'ok, we tried and it didn't work.' The working on stuff should have been before not now right?