Could it be love, or another huge mistake?

[BellaStranger]

I can't really ask for any real advice without giving some background, so bear with me...

 

There is this guy, we met 8 years ago when we were at college through some mutual friends and we hit it off immediately (we made out on the pool table at a party for about 5 hours). We went on a few dates and although we always got on brilliantly and there was definitely a spark, but neither of us- particuarly him- were quite in the right place to start a relationship then- and we were only 17 so we just sort of drifted in to friendship.

 

We have ALWAYS been in each others lives and I count him amongst my very best friends, he knows everything about me and everything that has happened to me. We spoke less while he was at uni, but still caught up when we had a chance. And that spark was ALWAYS there, it was just that by now one or the other of us was always dating someone else or had something else going on and we had a strong friendship, which I never wanted to lose. Despite all this, we often shared a drunk kiss and several close friends commented that the two of us needed to 'sort ourselves out' and 'get together already', but I always played down the feelings that were there, to others AND myself.

 

Anyway, a year and a half ago I met my most recent ex and fell totally in love with him, he was everything to me! BUT he had a big problem with this friend of mine. I guess he just knew there was a bit more than friendship there. And so...because I'm a fool, and because I made my boyfriend my whole world and because, at this time, my friend was moving abroad (to Bahrain, forever) and I felt abandoned by him anyway I began to distance myself from him. I didn't go to his leaving do cos my bf wouldnt let me, and I stopped replying to his texts cos it always caused a row and I just focused on my relationship.

 

Then 5 months ago my bf broke up with me and I was devestated. It is what the majority of my posts here are about. But suddenly, there was my friend again, on the telephone, from accross the world, just to see if I was okay!! I felt incrediby privilaged to have him forgive my behaviour and we've spent the past months repairing our friendship, finally resulting in me going out to Bahrain to visit him last week.

 

But thats the thing, when we were finally alone, both single, both free to do as we want, we finally gave in to that spark and we have had the most beautiful, romantic, passionate week together. But now I can't stop thinking about him...I've been home 2 days and I already miss him so much... and I feel like my eyes have been opened to something that was right in front of me all along.

 

I just don't know what to do with myself now. Could this be the real thing? I've never tried to build a relationship long distance before, and I'm scared to put myself out there in case he doesnt want to do it, and i'm still fragile from my break up. But I think I love him, and always have done, in one way or another. I think we could really work- if there weren't so many miles in the way!!! So could it be real love? Or have I made a huge mistake, and just set myself up for another fall??

[breath.o.fresh.air]

Bella, if you think you love him, then I would talk to him and see how he feels about you. If the feeling is mutual, personally I think it's worth a shot. Ya, it's distance, and it's bound to be hard, but at the same time you never know what it could lead to. Personally, I'd prefer to risk my heart on something that I truly believe is a good thing than walk away and never know what could have been. But then, I don't know exactly how you feel, or if you may be just rebounding?

 

Personally, I'd suggest talking to him and seeing how he feels and then go from there. Good luck!

[BellaStranger]

I am also worried it might be a rebound thing and that I am gravitating towards someone who has always been there for me, someone safe and someone who has made me feel good about myself for the first time in months! I don't ultimately want to hurt him by jumping in too soon. But how am I supposed to know if these feelings are real or rebound? It's not like they come with a warning saying 'do not trust- may be inaccurate', although I wish they did! Lol.

 

Part of me wants to hold off saying anything until some of the initial 'rush' if the holiday wears off. But I'm worried that I could regret that- specially if he ends up seeing someone else and I miss my chance!

[BellaStranger]

Him: I miss you x

Me: I miss you too xx

Me:

Him: Me too... Just looking at Ur holiday pics and i'm gutted Ur so far away

Me: Me too...it's not fair...call me crazy if that's what I am but I'm gonna say it anyway- every moment of being with you last week felt totally right and being back here feels completely different. I'm missing you like mad and I really hope you'll have me back to see you again... sooner rather than later!

Him: Not crazy at all, i feel the same way. And you're coming back in october even if i have to swim to england and drag you here! I made you a play list, i'll email it to you tomorrow. Been thinking of you a lot x x x

Me: Been thinking of you too and I'm glad I'm not the only one! I am serious about coming in October if you'll have me again? Xxx

Him: Of course i'll have you again, don't be silly! Next time come for two weeks though! X x x

Me: You know what... I think I will xxXx