Jealos of her past.

[NavariN]

I know..

 

Probably people will say that

 

"Don't care about past and focus on at the moment"

"The past that makes and constructs our personality as who we are"

"PAst is past and you can't change it and ignore the past"

 

I laready know and advised them all but it doesnt change anything

 

But despite of these all, i can not get over it. I also cant Leave her too..

 

My girfriend after divorced along the 7 years no had a relationship with a men. But last year when she was a drunk in Paris she had 2 minutes sexual experience with a man who was her friend 2 years. But she said to me that after they did whet they did, she was very regret and return to home as breaking part of their vacation when she just sobered and noticed that they crossed the boundries.. And stopped to contact him anymore

 

She said that she was feeling guilty as only experience as it was hers, but it haunts me that pictures made by my onw imagination which makes my life hell. I can't get it out of my head. It was only 2 min experience when she was drunk and she felt regret even before met me, but it disturbs me..

 

 

I researched about it in internet and saw that many men from many nation felt same obsessions like me but it doesnt help.. What is your advise.. Please help me..

[hexaemeron]

Wow, dude, no offense. Get over it. It was a mistake she freely admits she made. It was before you ever came into the picture. It has nothing to do with you. If you can't get over a mistake she made for two minutes before you ever came along that doesn't make one difference in the world, then you really should be with someone else, or just alone.

[russ978]

I know..

 

But despite of these all, i can not get over it. I also cant Leave her too..

 

 

You're spazzing out over nothing.

 

Maybe you could harp on it so much that you don't have to get over it and you don't have to leave her...you can just continue to harp on something in the past so much that she think's you're a little too crazy for her and she leaves you.

 

Honestly, you really do need to get over it, that or break up with her, have some crazy experiences and try and get back with her so that you reach whatever your head has decided is even.

 

Forgive her or do what you gotta do but you're basically saying, I can't do anything...and that is a statement that makes people think that you view yourself as powerless...and playing helpless 'poor me' syndrome likely won't help things.

 

Do you think it is possible for you to view things in a way that empowers you instead of...basically just whining?

[jraf]

I agree with the above posters. Get over it.

If you can't get over it, then you will never trust her and that won't make for a good relationship anyway.

If you can't get over it, find somebody else.

[In the Dark]

She did it.....she may have enjoyed it......she may have not.

 

You were never a though in her mind and you were not together.

 

Let it go.

[NavariN]

Easy to say bros "find someone else" .. I love her, Iam angry of her, I want her, I avoid her.. Many contradict thoughts in my mind at same time.. I never defence that my thoughts are correct one because i know they all are obsessions. Just like a sworm in a tree to get it rotten..

[hexaemeron]

Easy to say bros "find someone else" .. I love her, Iam angry of her, I want her, I avoid her.. Many contradict thoughts in my mind at same time.. I never defence that my thoughts are correct one because i know they all are obsessions. Just like a sworm in a tree to get it rotten..

 

Well, you say obsession with her. She's a person, not a possession. Try to be more caring and less obsessive.

[hexaemeron]

Also, I assume since you feel entitled to be so upset about this that you yourself are a virgin and have never had sexual contact with anyone else before.

 

Otherwise, you're just being a hypocrite.

[NavariN]

No brother. I am not a virgin.. I already had a marriage then divorce and had some girlfriends. But it doesn't change anything to be virgin or not for a man.. Just can not endure to imagine her(depsite of i dont want, that is remain obsessionality) to be with another man in my thoughts and stops me to sleep, smile, eat etc etc..

[Sparkly Eyes]

I don't understand..she had a 2 minute sexual experience with a friend BEFORE she met you and you can't get over it? no offence, but I would have left you if I were her....

 

Are you religious? When do you think it is appropriate to have sexual relations?

[NavariN]

No brother.. I am not religious.. I also dont care religion.. I also determined that i researched about this OBSESSİON and found out some informations it is an haunt based on men instict.. I also didnt defence that i was right..

[hexaemeron]

No brother. I am not a virgin.. I already had a marriage then divorce and had some girlfriends. But it doesn't change anything to be virgin or not for a man.. Just can not endure to imagine her(depsite of i dont want, that is remain obsessionality) to be with another man in my thoughts and stops me to sleep, smile, eat etc etc..

 

How convenient for you. Why are you held to different standards than she?

[Sparkly Eyes]

Ok that's good. You had a past too...how would you feel if she felt the same about your past and was obsessing over it?

 

I think she did nothing wrong and I'm sure you know it. You just have to ask yourself this question that why are you so insecure about her past? What is it exactly about this experience that bothers you?

[Sparkly Eyes]

How convenient for you. Why are you held to different standards than she?

 

because women don't have sexual feelings and if they do anything sexual, that means they are abused and are damaged goods.

[NavariN]

How convenient for you. Why are you held to different standards than she?

 

""But last year when she was a drunk in Paris she had 2 minutes sexual experience with a man who was her friend 2 years. But she said to me that after they did whet they did, she was very regret and return to home as breaking part of their vacation when she just sobered and noticed that they crossed the boundries.. And stopped to contact him anymore"""

[hexaemeron]

""But last year when she was a drunk in Paris she had 2 minutes sexual experience with a man who was her friend 2 years. But she said to me that after they did whet they did, she was very regret and return to home as breaking part of their vacation when she just sobered and noticed that they crossed the boundries.. And stopped to contact him anymore"""

 

Yes, I can read. That doesn't answer my question. Why is it okay for you have been sexual, yet she cannot be?

[kirk]

Yes, I can read. That doesn't answer my question. Why is it okay for you have been sexual, yet she cannot be?

 

I may be wrong here, but perhaps NavariN dislikes one-night stands. I see no indication of him having a problem with her previous marriage and partner (where they most likely sexual with each other), JUST this one event which occurred when she was drunk.

[hexaemeron]

I may be wrong here, but perhaps NavariN dislikes one-night stands. I see no indication of him having a problem with her previous marriage and partner (where they most likely sexual with each other), JUST this one event which occurred when she was drunk.

 

And that justifies feeling like he's trapped in hell because of a self-admitted two minute mistake? I don't think so.

[NavariN]

Yes, I can read. That doesn't answer my question. Why is it okay for you have been sexual, yet she cannot be?

Brother I didn't say anything like that.. I also know that except Arab countries ti is impossible to find a virgin one. Also my ex wife and other gf werent virgin.. And I never felt in that wayalready in such an obsession. If i already fell in such an obsession, I would never get a girlfriend who is not virgin from Turkey, Scotland, or any other European country else. It is the reason i feel disturbance and nneded your help.. I never say that she s guilty.. If I need help and complain about something from my own thougts and call it obsessions, it is obvious that I never support anything contradict the equality of women and men confrtontation..

[NavariN]

I may be wrong here, but perhaps NavariN dislikes one-night stands. I see no indication of him having a problem with her previous marriage and partner (where they most likely sexual with each other), JUST this one event which occurred when she was drunk.

 

Bravoo... Yes.. He was her friends for 2 years very best.. And they went to vacation of backpackage in France and when she drunk she didt stop when he moves over her.. And 2 minutes took. And after they did, she went to bath to not out 1 hour for. And one day later she returns to her country despite of ther was 8 days more for vacation..

[kirk]

And that justifies feeling like he's trapped in hell because of a self-admitted two minute mistake? I don't think so.

 

I'm not saying his feelings are justified, I was just pointing out the fact that it isn't because she's not a virgin (or "damaged goods" as worriedgirl crudely put it), but because of the one-night stand.

 

I'm sure NavariN understands that it was a mistake and that she regrets it.

 

Personally I dislike one-night stands myself, so in a way I can see what he's trying to say.

[In the Dark]

The things is...

 

People do have these now and then.

It's not like she is known for it.

And it's not like she was in a relationship at the time.

 

The OP was not even a thought in her mind so what is the big deal?

 

Knowing she did this once for two minutes means.....what?

[Sparkly Eyes]

Bravoo... Yes.. He was her friends for 2 years very best.. And they went to vacation of backpackage in France and when she drunk she didt stop when he moves over her.. And 2 minutes took. And after they did, she went to bath to not out 1 hour for. And one day later she returns to her country despite of ther was 8 days more for vacation..

 

I have a question for you..imagine you have a friend and you've know her for two years. You two are on vacation, single and you like each other. What would you do if she comes onto you? Would you deny her? be honest.

[NavariN]

I have a question for you..imagine you have a friend and you've know her for two years. You two are on vacation, single and you like each other. What would you do if she comes onto you? Would you deny her? be honest.

 

She said she didnt like him. and after finish their process she left France and feel regret.. Men and women nature is different.. Also i respect the love.. But the thing disturbs me far from it.. and your mention...

 

also i want you to glance pleasely those links to enllighten men nature..

 

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[hexaemeron]

Men and women are both capable of being irrationally possessive and jealous, just as men and women are both capable of growing past those feelings and just respecting their partners.