Monday Blues

[Loriana]

Hey guys,

Well i've been up since 7am had to get ready to go for a doctors appointment and now i am shattered need to sleep man lol. Its only 11:42am and i'm already bored this is a constant on going thing in my life being bored thats why i go to bed late so i can get up late in the day so the day isnt as long if you get what i mean.

 

Well my Dad is a total pain in the ass seriously!!. He gets me up at 7 and we get on the bus and we're there by 8am when my appointment wasnt till 9 it pees me off how we have to be everywhere early literally when i go next time hes not coming hes just a pain. He trys to act like my friend when really hes my dad and he knows as well as i do that our relationship has gone down the drain when i reached puberty. You know the sad thing about it is that i cant even remember how we used to be all the arguing and the distance is what im used to now u know?. When i was about 12 or 13 thats when the arguemts started. I've always had a bit of meat on me ive never been skinny, when i was younger i was always about a size 10 or a 12 and well since i developed boobs and curves and all of the things that consists of the female body i put on some weight and now im a 14 so one size up from a 12. Ive been a 14 for a couple of years now and my dads always moaned about it Me being me well im rebellious still and he used to call me names like 'you fat pig' or 'you fat cow' at first when he first started calling me names think i was about 13 and i used to get really hurt by it and get upset but now i dont let him talk to me like that not that he calls me names anymore cos he knows ill just fight back. Well today i was making coffee and i dont like my coffee strong and so i made it milky and he has a go at me for putting too much milk in there saying ill land up like a size of a house and to be honest ive been having milky coffees for ages now and ive still been the sane size never put on any weight at all. I was eating cereal this morning and he moaned that i had too much in my bowl and like so what??. Seriously guys i eat cereal for breakfast, a yoghurt if im hungry at lunch then i eat whatever my mum makes at dinner time so really i dont eat alot, i dont snack in between meals or anything since my dad wont let me have anything with sugar in so i cant have no cakes, biscuits, ice cream etc. I do excercise i go out walking and i use the Wii fit and i do sit ups, i cant afford to pay for the gym at the moment once i start my new job ill be able to go again. I just dont understand this is my natural body shape theres not alot i can do about it so why cant he just get off my case?. He still tries to treat me like a kid and im not im almost 18 hes not gonna control me for much longer you know in the UK when you're 17 you can even move out if you want to and i wanna move out trust me but realistically i cant afford it. I mean dont get me wrong i love this house, theres so many memories here this is where i grew up but my dad is just doing my head in. He moans and complains about everything and to be honest its draining, if i leave a cup on the side he has a huge fit over it and if me or my bro havent done the washing up by the time he gets in he goes mad i just cannot deal with it seriously. he makes out like ive been so much hard work and i understand that first borns are always the hardest and its tough for parents who have never bought up kids before but hes still holding on to the little girl i used to be and he wont let go and i need him to let go. Ill be 18 soon and i need to lead my own life and make my own decisions and mistakes. He makes out im so bad but its not like i hang around street corners getting high or having sex with loads of boys and im not pregnant either. Well guys might do a journal later if ive got anything to say lol.

 

peace x