Friend zone?.. long distance.. is it worth it?

[crazedand]

Not sure this is entirely the right area for this but here goes.

 

So I have this pretty good friend living in the UK that I met while she was studying abroad at my university. I admit I'm most likely pretty deep in the friend zone with her, however there have been times when I've gotten vibes I may not be. Anyways, without beng too longwinded, I got the sense she was/is physically attracted to me, but it was hard to tell because she is quite touchy feely with most of her good guy friends that I knew while she was here. It just seemed a little more calculated with me, certain things (not remotely sexual) she did when we were Not in the company of mutual friends. On an emotional level it seemed like I was really in the friend zone, but heck if I know.

 

So I got a nice message from her just after she left to go back to the UK (wont be seeing her in person for at least 7 months) that said she hopes I find a lady friend soon and that that lady will be one lucky lady.

 

Question is, is there anything to read between the lines about that statement, or should I just leave it as a genuinely nice thing a friend says to another friend? Because that's what I regarded it as at first, then the mind wanders and ponders...

 

I really like this girl, but the friend zone-ness vibe I get and the fact there's an ocean in the way really makes me question if there's any reason at all I should ever tell her (via skype/email, like before she comes back to visit) that I developed feelings for her, other than to just get it off my chest. I think it's a hail mary of a chance that she feels similarly, but I need to get it off my chest and do not want to regret not trying.

[cingularity83]

That's a tough one man. First off you have to assume that she is not seeing someone back there in the UK, and even if she isn't who is to say that bewteen now and until she returns she won't meet someone. Sorry to sound like a pessimist here but I hate being the bearer of bad news. I try to be realistic with life.

 

Now the other thing that can happen is that if you tell her that you have developed feelings for her...she can say oh really, well I felt the same way about you too and not relly mean it because it's not like she's going to be seeing you soon and confronting you anyway.

 

Here's what I would do if I was in your situation. I wouldn't say anything to her specifically other than to just stay in touch with her and keep open the lines of communication AND THEN when she returns that's when you make your move in person with her there in front of you and then whatever happens from there happens.

 

YAY!!! My 150th post. Next up 50 more to 200 hundred. Only took 5 years

[crazedand]

mcs,

 

Thanks for your response, and your point about her finding someone till then has certainly crossed my mind many times. I'm thinking about telling her in sometime before then because it'll just burn inside of me otherwise. Maybe in a few months I wont feel the same, one can only hope.