B8DarkKnight Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 There are lots of details to this story which I can add later after hearing some responses but I'll try to keep it short. Basically, I met a woman and after we have had sex several times she asks me how I would feel about getting together with her sister. You can read some details below, or skip down to the text conversation. A few weeks ago I meet this beautiful woman at a dog park and asked her for her phone number. I'm 28 years old and it's the first time I ever did such a thing. She just so happens to live within walking distance of me, and she gave me her number(from now on I'll refer to her as "J"). We chatted via text a bit that night, and met up the next day for lunch and to just hang out and talk. Although I enjoyed speaking to her and we have some chemistry I could tell we were very different people. I'm agnostic and she's pretty religious and judges her actions on what Jesus would think, etc. One of my favorite TV shows is South Park, but she doesn't like it because it mocks religion and Christianity often. In fact, she doesn't really like any of the same movies I watch. In any event, it was mostly small talk and we ended up going to a nearby pet supply store because she needed things for her fish. At the end of the evening when we were saying goodbye (I walked her home) I was expecting to just give her a hug and that's it. Instead she gave me this awkward sideways hug with a back pat. It felt so strange I actually searched Google for body language things and quickly saw many things indicating it shows the person hugging like that wants to keep you at a distance. I took it as a sign she wasn't interested in me due to our differences but didn't really feel bad. (Turns out the hug was the Christian Side Hug. Google it or look at the hilarious music video on YouTube). Two years ago I came out of a seven year relationship and for months now I've had many first dates with online dating. I planned to text her the next day to see if she wanted to hang out again and expected to get no reply. My therapist (been seeing her since that break up years ago) has suggested the dating is good for me even when it doesn't work out because I get to meet people and experience new things. I've lived a very sheltered life. Much to my surprise J texts me early in the afternoon after our first date, asking if I'd like to accompany her and her fraternal twin sister to a much bigger pet store in Manhattan (we live in an outer borough of NYC) to get some supplies for her sister's pet snake. I wasn't busy and was happy to come along. They aren't identical twins but J's sister is equally beautiful. We hung out at the pet store, got some things, and made lots of small talk about pets and life in general. It turns out I have much more in common with J's sister, but I didn't dream of trying to put the moves on her or anything because I had met J first. For the rest of that week J and I chatted constantly via text and met up a couple of times just to talk. We never so much as held hands, kissed each other on the cheek, or even had a regular full frontal hug. In about 4 days I knew J and I wouldn't make a good couple, but perhaps good friends and I do enjoy chatting with her even still. So, Saturday night comes around and J spontaneously asks me if I'd like to accompany her to a tattoo parlor because she had just gotten her first tattoo but it needed touching up. I've never been to a tattoo parlor in my life, and would never dream of getting one myself. And I'm not the type to just walk out to do something random on a Saturday night, but I thought it'd be an interesting experience so I said yes. J and I met up, and on the way there we find out that due to subway work the trip would end up taking twice as long going and coming back, so neither of us wanted to do it. J then asked me if I wanted to just go to a bar and grab a couple of drinks. Once again I have never in my life stepped into a bar during a weekend, so I said sure even though I knew J and I didn't have a future as a couple. By this time I bet you know where this story is going. After her third apple martini, Ms. Christian Side Hug is giving me lap dance in the bar booth, telling me how handsome I am, and how much she wants to have sex with me. Well, she is beautiful, I was a little drunk, and sort of weak...so we did it. Yes we used protection. Flash forward a few days and we've done it a couple more times and had a conversation where we acknowledged that we aren't fully compatible as a couple. She asked me to help her and her sister with a random favor later in the week and I said I would. The night before the following bizarre conversation ensues. I was busy playing a video game and she wants to text chat with me. I tell her I'm sorry I can't because I'm busy. She then asks if I want to come over and hang out with her. This was at 10PM. I told her I would, but we had plans to meet the next day anyway and we could spend some time alone after I was done helping with the errand. What follows is the exact texts we sent to each other. J: wat wud u say if I suggested u get w/ my sister? Me: * * * are you talking about? Is this some kind of test? J: No, not a test. I really wanna know. Me: I, uh, I think that is crazy talk you are talking. Very awkward. J: U2 have way more in common, I really thought u wud take more interest in her esp after u asked questions about her. Me: Are you serious? Why the hell are you bringing this up?? You want me to try to get romantically involved with your sister when you and I have been together??? Me: As a hypothetical question let me put it this way. Relationships are hard enough. And for a guy to have a relationship with a woman when he's already been with her sister sexually adds layers of DRAMA. Do they keep the past a secret? Can they live with that? is it moral? J: No I don't want you to try. Me: or are they open about it, and even after being open about it can all three of them be 100% comfortable with that so it doesn't ever interfere with the relationship?? Me: So then why are you even asking this? I feel like you are pushing my buttons on purpose to get a reaction out of me J not sayn I want u2 get w/ her, I just wanted 2know wat u thought since you 2 have more in common Me acknowledge that it appears I have more in common with your sister but it's a moot point because I would have to be a total f***ing doubchebag to want that after meeting you first. Here's a hypothetical for you J: Well 4 a second I was thinking maybe u feel like u got with the wrong sister Me: Jeezus after you just asked me that totally TOTALLY awkward question I don't know what to think right now. You just blew my mind. Really. J: Wat was the hypothetical? Me: I was just going to ask you some weird and offensive question to try and make you feel like I feel right now. Forget it. J: Why do you feel so weird? It was only a question Me: Ok let me ask you a question. J: Ok... Me: Have you ever sexually molested a young child before? Please dont' be offended. it's just a question. Me: You know what? I want you to go and ask your sister the exact same thing. Tell her we have already had sex but you think she and I have more in common and what she would ever think about me and her getting together because we'd be a better couple. Your sister strikes me as a direct person and I think she'll tell you what she thinks. J: I didn't mean to get you so angry! geez! its just that type of thing that has happened before with other people. There's even songs about it. Me: Seriously I want you to ask her for me and tell me what she says. ------------------------------------------------- That was pretty much the end of it. There are many more details I can add later, but basically I felt offended because with that question I thought she was making negative assumptions about me. I mean, moving in on a girl's sister when you started dating her first. Isn't that like sleeping with your best friend's wife? She couldn't see my point, and she said she has more to say on the matter but has yet to elaborate days later. She has also said that she thinks my anger to her question was inappropriate.... And I've learned so much from my ex I see J doing the same things. I think she is needy, and when I declined to meet up with her or speak to her because I was busy doing other things and we had plans for the next day she then sends me this totally off the wall question to get a reaction from me and get my attention. It worked. I think she's crazy. Thoughts? Link to comment
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