Is this a good idea?

[mercurial100]

No idea why I am writing, I think I know the answer, but I want to ask anyway, if anything for moral support!

 

Today is one month of NC and things slowly (really slowly) do get a little better. I am going to Spain in a couple of days for just under a week to spend some time with my friend, his gf and his family. Hopefully it will do me some good, we'll see.

 

Anyway, my point is: I went to a wedding yesterday and was talking to the groom about my situation. He told me that he had GIGS with his gf, left her, trhee months later called her back and they clearly got married yesterday - 5 years down the line.

 

My question is this: Do I have the "it's over, no chance of being together again" mentality or do I opt for a "continue to move on, continue to heal, if something/someone else comes along great but we'll see where I am in three or four months".

 

The second "solution" seems the easier, but it doesn't wash away all hope.

 

Washing away all hope seems harder.

 

How would you go about it? The truth is she probably isn't right for me, I might have trust issues (she didn't cheat, or at least I dont think she did, but serious out of the blue GIGS) and over time I hope to find someone new (self-confidence issues at the moment etc..) but not writing off anything gives me some comfort.

[Live-N-Learn]

How would you go about it? The truth is she probably isn't right for me, I might have trust issues (she didn't cheat, or at least I dont think she did, but serious out of the blue GIGS) and over time I hope to find someone new (self-confidence issues at the moment etc..) but not writing off anything gives me some comfort.

 

Let go and move on. You answered your own question.

[dancingcolors]

Well, if you hang on, then where will you be? Easier said than done.

[mercurial100]

I think its more of a mindset issue.

 

I am not suggesting "hanging on"...I was at the wedding last night and for the first time did a bit of "window shopping" ;-) but thats the extent of it because I still feel like ****.

 

However not completely ruling out a future sometime gives me comfort, althought I don't know whether that hope provides the comfort.

[magnoliasky]

 

My question is this: Do I have the "it's over, no chance of being together again" mentality or do I opt for a "continue to move on, continue to heal, if something/someone else comes along great but we'll see where I am in three or four months".

 

 

I think you should continue to move on, continue to heal (2nd option)... The fact is that you don't know what the future will hold, but you need to be taking care of you and looking to build a better future. If she has removed herself from that future, then you have the right to imagine it with someone else. Keep an open mind when meeting new people, see what happens.

 

That first options seems like it would require a level of bitterness to believe. I can do without anger and bitterness. It just creates a cloud that is not truly necessary to move on through.