TurtleDove12 Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Why are so many instincts wrong? I severely wish to break NC with my ex, but I KNOW that it won't make me happy. I gave her all of my love and effort for 3 years and it ended badly. Why do I think it'll all of a sudden magically change? I think love might be a mental illness. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Link to comment
RedDress Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 I think love might be a mental illness. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I agree. I really think something chemical happens to your brain. It's really, really weird... There have been guys that I have dated that I flat out knew I shouldn't be dating them... but then you break up... and you go crazy! You start making excuses. You start thinking "it's not so bad", etc. Crazy. In hindsight, I did the right thing. NC is the way to go... I think they are withdrawl symptoms or something. I really, honestly, think it's chemical. Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 6, 2010 Author Share Posted June 6, 2010 I agree. I really think something chemical happens to your brain. It's really, really weird... There have been guys that I have dated that I flat out knew I shouldn't be dating them... but then you break up... and you go crazy! You start making excuses. You start thinking "it's not so bad", etc. Crazy. In hindsight, I did the right thing. NC is the way to go... I think they are withdrawl symptoms or something. I really, honestly, think it's chemical. There's a book called Love Sick which talks about this issue. A little too cynical and scientific for my liking, but it presents a good argument. I'm just really sad right now. And I really miss her. I wish I could tell her that. I >do I just don't think things can work out like that...rationally. Irrationally, anything goes. Link to comment
alamina Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 To me, it feels like I'm quitting a drug. I get the cold sweats, heart palpitations, anxiety, stomach aches and these crazy urges to call, email, text, anything! Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 6, 2010 Author Share Posted June 6, 2010 To me, it feels like I'm quitting a drug. I get the cold sweats, heart palpitations, anxiety, stomach aches and these crazy urges to call, email, text, anything! What do you do? How do you feel better? Link to comment
so-lost Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 To me, it feels like I'm quitting a drug. I get the cold sweats, heart palpitations, anxiety, stomach aches and these crazy urges to call, email, text, anything! OMG I am sorry but need to say...now I really dont feel alone after reading your post. I dont mean it in bad way..I feel the same anxiety attack as u do and I thought I am going mentally crazy! And going crazy is my last thing I want to experience. Now I guess everyone who is going thru a breakup or NC will feel the same, others may fee less worse but I am an emotional person...so I canot help it. Oh BTW, I learned that eating omega3 helps this type of anxiety or depression. Better than taking anti depressant rite? Try it..it helps. Today is my Da1 of NC but I do NOT want a breakup. I want to win my BF back and after all attempts, I need to try this last resort - NC. It's my LAST hope. I wish I can see shooting stars now and wish for him to come back.:sad: Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 6, 2010 Author Share Posted June 6, 2010 Good luck. We're here if you need. But don't come off as desparate to this guy, that's all I ask! Link to comment
alamina Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 I basically try to keep myself as busy as possible. It's NOT easy. It's been a month now and I feel significantly better. I also imagined how awkward it would be if I did contact him, and I've suffered enough already, TYVM! Whenever I start feeling the sadness, you know, when you feel groggy and unable to move or the opposite, adrenaline rushes, I get on my bike, or go for a brisk walk with the ipod playing very empowering music, like techno, metal or industrial rock. lol If you sit still, it gets worse. Link to comment
alamina Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 It's normal to feel anxiety. Tell yourself that, next time you get a panic attack. This is normal. I am not in danger. I have control over myself. Look in the mirror if you need to. Then MOVE. You have to release that rush of energy! My house is always spotless when I'm anxious, hahaha! I clean like a maniac, just to DO something. You'll also get a rush of endorphins by moving a lot, and that really helps. Vitamins are great indeed. I'm taking a multi-vitamin that reduces stress. They have them in all the pharmacies now. We're living in a stressful world! Link to comment
dancingcolors Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 I saw my ex boyfriend of 2 years, yesterday for the first time after 1 year and 3 months of no contact. he showed up with his new woman where I was working, looking for me on purpose. I now feel completely bulldozed today, after a night of crying and no sleep. I can see why no contact is better, even if it doesn't feel too good. i guess it is the lesser of two evils. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 You get over it but cutting out the drug you are addicted to! NC is not enough, you need to delete everything that reminds you of the ex. Until you take the powerful action step of doing this you may as well poor the bag of drugs on the table and get a straw cuz it is going to suck... Link to comment
nic2463 Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 N/c is unatural as we want to get on and sort the problem and get back to the fantastic relationship..The reality is our ex doesnt want us anymore and n/c protects you from driving them away even more with all the begging.It allows you to heal too,its not easy i took 3 years to get over a ex. Now i couldnt care less about her and thank her for giving me the great life i now have. Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 NC is really hard. It's 25/75 Break To Not Break Contact on a daily basis. Such a loss in my mind. Link to comment
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