Would things still be the same?

[notgivingup]

Would things still be the same? Would a friendship between male and female still be the same once emotions are added into the equation? Would a friendship between male and female be the same if the girl likes the boy and the boy wants to have vaginal and/or oral sex with her? Is the guy asking too much from the girl to have vaginal and/or oral sex with him because he has been there for her for the past three to four years? Is the guy expecting too much from the girl?

 

His reasoning is if you love me you would prove that love to me by having vaginal and/or oral sex with me. His reasoning is I am not expecting too much from you (it is like an exchange for him), this for the past few years of friendship. You see, he is still a virgin. He said that he wants to have sex with the girl, but does not know if it is right for him to do so, because he does not have those feelings for the girl or love her. And yet the girl is the only one he trusts to do it with. Is it possible that the guy is using the girl for sex? Or is it a mutual decision for both parties?

 

Does the girl need to prove her love for him if he himself does not love her back? If you were the girl, would you have sex with him knowing it could destroy the friendship? Since the girl has feelings for the guy, having sex with him could cause her to get emotionally attached to him. For girls, having sex means we were leaving a part of ourselves with they guy, because we allowed them to enter into our body. While for the guy, he has no feelings for the girl, and so he cannot force himself to have feelings for the girl or to love her back. To him, sex is just sex and that having sex would refresh the friendship that currently exists. Is that true?

 

If the girl does say yes, would that change the dynamics of the relationship or even ruin it? Is it better that the girl say no and put the best interest of their friendship first, to maintain the friendship that they currently have?

 

What is happening? Any advice gals and guys?

[jenesaispas]

this sounds awful. i would hope the girl would have enough self-preservation not to allow herself to be used for sex, esp. if her heart was on the line. and him asking her to prove her love even though he doesn't feel the same? telling her it's an exchange for his friendship? i doubt this would refresh the friendship; he would lose all respect for her.

[huskiesfan]

I would say that the girl should take a step back and look at the dynamics of the friendship, because she will realize this is no friendship at all.

 

Basically, the guy is asking the girl to "repay" him for his friendship, and to give up a part of herself by having sex with him, when there is no guarantee on his end of him ever reciprocating the feelings that she has for him.

 

I am assuming you are the girl, so I'll drop the third person. I honestly think that you should not only say no, but drop the friendship. If you do not, he has already shown that he will end up hurting you in the end. He should be there for you because he wants to be, and it should be out of the goodness of his heart, not some tool he can use when he wants into your pants. Sex is not just sex, and it does not "refresh" a friendship. IMO, sex often is a point of no return as far as friendships go, you cannot just share something intimate like that and expect to go on like nothing has happened.

 

Just take a step back and look at things. Is this a friendship?