Do you think I still have a chance?

[biggestdork]

Our relationship only lasted for 3 months. It felt longer because we were friends through out high school. We hung out together with same group of friends and stuff. After we graduated, she broke up with her high school sweetheart. We got closer and closer then one night she told me that she has feelings for me, and I told her I felt the same so we started dating.

 

We have so much in common and Ive never liked anybody this much before. She was the best girlfriend I ever had. Ive been with many girls, and this was probably the first one I actually had strong feelings for. I’ve never been so happy before in my life. I could talk to her about anything, she was my best friend. We also have the same hobbies. She was everything to me (and maybe that was the mistake I made).

 

Then she started to become more distant and detached. We go to the same college, but she wasn’t going to school for a long time and had just started, and I felt like she wasn’t ready for all the stress. We were going through a lot of changes in a short period of time. We were both busy with school work, so we didn’t have a chance to talk about the changes I had noticed in her. We saw each other pretty much everyday, but we were so tired from school that we never actually had the energy to do anything fun together.

 

Then one day she finally broke up with me. I wasn’t expecting it. We were doing so well except for the last couple of weeks. I thought that it was just a little bit of bump on the road, and I didn’t think it was this serious. I went NC for a week and decided to call her to talk about giving me another chance. She said she felt bad because it was the best relationship she ever had as well, but she insisted that this is what she wanted. I still think she acted out of fear.

 

The excuse she gave me was that she feels Im more of a friend than a boyfriend to her. I was shocked. Looking back, I kind of see where she was coming from but I just couldn’t understand how something so good could end so fast and so sudden. She also said that she doesn’t think she’s ready for another relationship since she just gotten out of a LTR, and she didn’t want to be with anybody for a while.

 

After the break up, we still saw each other and hung out together. We agreed to stay friends. We talked about the break up once and she said she still had feelings for me but this is for the best. Then I found out that shes been seeing this one guy. I felt so betrayed. I don’t know if shes serious with him, but I felt like she’s lied to me about the reasons for breaking up.

 

That was when I decided to go NC. I didn’t tell her, or anybody, about it though.

 

Now, Im doing a lot better. I haven’t talked to her for over a month now. I was starting to think that the guy was just a rebound, but now its almost like she’s forgotten about me. I just have so many questions in my head. She was so good to me. Ive known her for a long time before we started dating and she was the nicest person Ive ever met. It’s almost like I’m the rebound guy, but she was the one who approached me in the beginning and even her friends told me that she’s never liked anybody as much as she liked me. I just don’t understand how she could move on so fast.

 

I still want her back. Do you guys think I have chance? I know about the usual moving on and focus on other things, but what we had was so good that I would like to give it another try. How should I go about this? What if she’s already over me?

[Flint_Wood]

Holy crap, this sounds so similar to what I'm going through right now... I wish I could help but I'm trying to figure it out too.

 

I'm still in the LC stage that you described, and have been contemplating going NC to try and get her to miss me. A month is a good time to recontact and test the water from what I've read, so long as you feel you're not too emotionally attached.

 

I think it'd be an appropriate time to try and call and see if she's free for a quick half hour lunch/coffee. Trust me, even if its not all romantic memories, but memories of friendship, she hasn't forgotten you. I think what makes this situation so much harder is that women have a harder time moving from friendship to romance. Something about the transition just doesn't click as well for them and they freak imho.

 

Some one help us! Ha

[biggestdork]

Its been over 2 months since the break up, almost as long as the relationship itself...

 

I dont think Im ready for a meet up just yet... I dont want to set myself back to day 1 again... Im doing a lot better now.

But when Im ready, will it be too late? If we could do all the things we did in that short period of time, she could be doing so much more right now...

 

I hear about her from my friends a lot and she seems to be having a blast...

She's already moving on, and Im still not over her. She was too special to let go

 

Do I still have a chance?

[Flint_Wood]

Thats tough. Have you been keeping busy during NC? Hobbies, exercise, and all that jazz?

 

I've been fortunate enough to have a lot of other positive things in my life that I haven't been too down about the whole experience. But do I ever want to let my ex in on my happiness.

 

It is important that you feel you can feel like you can meet her and even be rejected by her without getting too emotional before you call her again.

 

Don't worry about what she's doing, some people heal differently, or avoid healing altogether. It sounds like my ex is going out drinking near every night. I actually find myself feeling like she's just trying to forget her problems, but eventually she'll have to face the fact that she's in pain, and was happier in the relationship. Wishful thinking? Possibly, but maybe having a similar mindset will help you.

[biggestdork]

Its kind of ridiculous. She was kind of like a tomboy before so she plays sports and video games and stuff. We have the same hobbies. I try my best to keep busy, but its so hard since everything I like doing, I used to do it with her. We were so alike that I cant seem to live my old life without thinking about her. I tried to pick up some new hobbies and do new things, but Ive been busy with college.

[biggestdork]

The "you never know what you got until its gone" seems to be hitting me more than it does her

[so-lost]

Creepy...your situation same as mind..well not 100%. I am a girl. I JUSt posted mine in this forum asking for advice too. Same here, I have had other past relationships, some even 5 yrs or 2.5 yrs but my connection with my current ex is so diff and so strong. We got along in a heart beat...just terrific! We are very alike. That is why it hurts me worst while we only together 2 months.

 

I have been crying everyday. I have been reading alot about NC and stuffs like that...but it's taking chances. NC can make ur ex crawl back to you BUT also your ex MAY hv forgotten you. But I think why there are so many articles about winning your ex back via NC..is by the time you NC for 1-2 months..it's either yourself move on or your ex come back to u. So, it's win win situation, I guess.

 

I have been calling my ex and made excuses to see him, asking him help me but I find that it drives him farther away. 2 nites ago, he told me he still loves me but the feeling is unlike before. Currently he feels SMOTHERED n overwhelmed and asked me, please let him go.....do you know how heart break for me to hear that?? How fearful for me to not be able to contact him anymore..he MAY change his # to dodge me since I am calling daily....that is the least I want it to happen. I really love him

[biggestdork]

After the break up she was still nice to me. Maybe she was just feeling guilty or something. I actually thought she still had feelings for me and thats what gave me (false?)hope. We hung out together a few times and sometimes it felt great, other times, not so much. I went NC for 3 weeks, but I gave in and called to ask if she wanted to hang out. She accepted my invitation and we had lunch together. She was still really nice to me, but the whole time, it felt like I was taking up her time. I found out later that she was supposed to go meet up with this new guy on that same day, yet she insisted on hanging out with me.

 

Am I wasting me time? I know I have to move on, but she was my best friend. I cant seem to let go. I dont want to.

 

NC for 4 weeks now, she's replaced me with a new tattoo, a new pet, a new laptop, a new PS3, a new job, and a new guy... I havent been unable to replace her...

[Flint_Wood]

I doubt she broke off seeing a new guy just out of a nicety to you, thats a pretty big move. It also seems like she is really going overboard trying to distract herself, it's a good sign. If you want her back, you need to believe that you will get her back, no matter what she's doing that says otherwise.

 

But even with that belief in mind, don't even think about reconnecting with her until you are able to handle rejection in what ever form. If it doesn't work out, at least you know you tried to do everything you could, and you can move on without any regrets.

 

Of course it's never that simple, but your improving your attitude is going to be the best way to make you feel at ease with her and make her positively remember what you two shared together. That's your biggest strength over the new is as well.

[biggestdork]

thanks for all your replies Flint_Wood

 

Im not completely sure if she offered friendship because she feels bad for me or because she really doesnt want to lose me. It could be both. The thing is, we agreed to stay friends, but I havent talked to her for 4 weeks now, I would expect her to at least call to check up on me.

 

It might seems like she's doing all these things to distract herself, but she has so much going on for her, which Im happy for her, and I think she may successfully move on and forget about me.

 

 

Sigh. Oh man Im a mess. Ive changed a lot since I met her. Nothing has ever bothered me before. I used to walk around with the "i dont give a f" attitude. I cant believe Im actually madly in love with somebody.

 

I guess its a good thing.